to think dp is being a twat?

[holdmybeer]

Ds 1(4) struggles emotionally, he doesn't listen, gets upset easily and is prone to tantrums. No special needs, just an emotionally immature 4 year old.

From the minute he got up this morning dp (not his dad) has been laying into him "don't do that" and dishing out empty threats "we'll cancel the holiday" (in a couple of weeks time)

AIBU to want a more positive approach such as "why don't we try this?" and that any consequences should be immediate and realistic and if possible relate to the issue in hand?

We've had a terrible day with ds 1 culminating in a 40 minute tantrum trying to get him out of the supermarket and into the car, not helped by dp and his constant tirade of negativity.

I make no excuses for ds's behaviour. It is frustrating as hell but he's 4, how does focusing his attention on what he's not to do help?!

40 minutes is ridiculous. Here's a free tip on how to strap in a tantruming child when you (gasp!) are not in a P&C space and are tightly boxed in by other cars.

Parent No 1. holds onto tantruming child in a safe place. He is only 4, one parent is enough to hold onto him.

Parent No 2 moves the car into a spot with enough space to allow for the strapping in of a wriggling, kicking child.

Job done. Next time, leave the child at home. If you must take him shopping, and there's no p&c space, park on the far end of the carpark where you're not likely to be boxed in.

Children are funny. They get bored of tantruming when they realize it's getting them nowhere and it's really not worth the bother.

I'd be delighted never to have to converse with you again, Nicki, but I think you're the one who's made yourself look foolish, and all of your own accord too. Bravo!

nick and xeana

Stop engaging with each other! The thread has totally been derailed and the op has gone! Such a shame

op
It's a complicated situation and you've been given some good advice.
123 magic is easy and effective, so maybe try that? Get yourself and dh on the same page. Maybe they could do something just them for an hour at the weekend, start binding again?
Good luck!