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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To request mumsnet to add a 'polyamorous families' section under parenting?

868 replies

whycantwegoonasthree · 05/03/2016 15:28

There's every other kind of family type, pretty much, and polyamorous families have some unique joys and challenges that it would be nice to share and discuss.

Or maybe we're the last frontier and even MN aren't ready to go there.

Yet.

OP posts:
SoConfused15 · 05/03/2016 18:13

Yeah, the comments on this thread are a useful reminder of why I am not "out" as poly. I don't give a toss what people think of me but I worry about what my kids might hear about their mum if other people were aware.

LeaveMyWingsBehindMe · 05/03/2016 18:14

I agree it's a bit too niche, it would be the quietest topic in the world. Aren't there dedicated forums especially for relationships/families like yours?

WorraLiberty · 05/03/2016 18:14

Look >

To the people who are saying there can't be a sensible discussion about this. I think you're wrong.

If the OP was actually polyamorous, I'm quite sure a sensible discussion could be had.

But it's the fact that she quite clearly isn't, that's taking the thread somewhat off track.

She simply has a married boyfriend that stays over when her kids aren't home and that's not the same thing at all.

BipBippadotta · 05/03/2016 18:14

OP, if you want Mumsnet to have a forum on this, request it. Be the change you want to see in the world! Seems counterproductive to announce your expectation that Mumsnet will be too narrowminded to give space to your relationship style & then invite comment from the denizens of the goadiest corner of the internet.

MaudGonneMad · 05/03/2016 18:15

She simply has a married boyfriend that stays over when her kids aren't home

Straight to the point as ever Worra Grin

Thisisnotausername · 05/03/2016 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BeyondTellsEveryoneRealFacts · 05/03/2016 18:15

Blue. I am bi. I am in a straight relationship, not a bi relationship.

RobinsonsSquash · 05/03/2016 18:15

If the OP had come on and asked for anyone's opinion on whether or not her relationship was equitable or fair or whether she was the other woman or not then these kinds of reactions would be fair game.

But she didn't. She came on to talk parenting.

notonyurjellybellynelly · 05/03/2016 18:15

We asked for a 50 plus topic and we were told not enough people would contribute to it/that it was a niche topic, so the answer was no.

It will be interesting to see if the OP gets her board.

Hamsterpotty · 05/03/2016 18:15

A quick google search will show that 'V' setups are quite common and accepted as polyamorous

Twinklestein · 05/03/2016 18:15

Robinsons because being happy in my relationship with my husband and identifying as lesbian doesn't mean I am one.

The OP being happy with the setup has no relevance to whether it's PA or not.

Hennifer · 05/03/2016 18:15

I would never want to upset any of you in real life. I have trouble grasping the concept. You as people are probably very pleasant.

ClopySow · 05/03/2016 18:15

No. That's your definition of her relationship despite her explaining differently numerous times.

She's not the OW. She is a consenting partner in an agreed relationship. She stares she is currently mono, but that she may have other partners in the future. Just because you don't understand that, doesn't make it untrue.

phequer · 05/03/2016 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RobinsonsSquash · 05/03/2016 18:17

I'm bisexual and if someone tried to tell me my relationship with a man was a straight relationship I'd laugh in their face.

BeyondTellsEveryoneRealFacts · 05/03/2016 18:18

Meh, different strokes, Robinsons

CurbsideProphet · 05/03/2016 18:18

I have gone through the thread and can't find a response to this: how do the children not know about the partner, if he has clothes/toiletries/pictures in the OPs house? Are they kept in a locked cupboard when the children are home from their father?

MaudGonneMad · 05/03/2016 18:18

I'm bisexual and if someone tried to tell me my relationship with a man was a straight relationship I'd laugh in their face.

How is it not a straight relationship, RobinsonsSquash? Genuinely confused.

Hennifer · 05/03/2016 18:18

Besides which, why are you all so blooming reasonable? That's surely not normal Smile

Original poster
whycantwegoonasthree · 05/03/2016 18:19

Thanks clopysow and I will do that later.

I will also on the other poly people on here and see what other safe spaces they've found.

Hennifer - thanks for the apology. It's a complicated topic and prone to misunderstanding so I don't really blame anyone for their views. But a genuine sorry is a rare thing and much appreciated.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/03/2016 18:19

Jesus

I might buy a Formula One racing car in the future but that doesn't make me Lewis Hamilton.

phequer · 05/03/2016 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RhiWrites · 05/03/2016 18:20

Yeah, I've known the term 'fluid bonded' for the past 5 years and I'm not poly. The is going to be one of the times when Mumsnet Discovers A Word. Like the time everyone here discovered the word "cis".

Now say metamour and see what happens!

Sallystyle · 05/03/2016 18:20

She isn't in a poly relationship.

I think that needs repeating.

MotherKat is, and while it isn't for me at least she is what she is labelling herself as and I would actually be interested in learning more from people who are in a poly relationship.

But the OP isn't.

RobinsonsSquash · 05/03/2016 18:20

Maud I'm not straight. It's impossible for me to have a straight relationship, because I am not straight.