To request mumsnet to add a 'polyamorous families' section under parenting?

[whycantwegoonasthree]

There's every other kind of family type, pretty much, and polyamorous families have some unique joys and challenges that it would be nice to share and discuss.

Or maybe we're the last frontier and even MN aren't ready to go there.

Yet.

Reference how to tell the children, I wouldn't. They must be very young indeed not to have noticed his stuff lying around the house, or just incredibly unobservant. Assuming the former then I don't think they need to be party to any of it - they'll just grow up with a very warped sense of relationships and self worth.

Carry on being the other woman poly, but I'd also carry on whilst they're not there.

It's unprotected sex with loads of people at the same time! Great!

I think the definition is wrong, yes phequer, in it's insistence that the relationships must be sexual. Sex is about the least important part of all this, it really is.

OP, why did we need to be told about this peculiar aspect of your relationship(s)?

Someone asked her if they were using condoms, so she answered.

But why use a special phrase that no one has ever heard of?

Why not just say 'we don't use condoms'?

I was "fluid bonded" in my (apparent) "v"

A nice course of antibiotics solved the resulting proble though

phequer that definition is workable and the OP's relationship/s meet it. The ability as well as the practice and the state of having more than one relationship at a time.

You can be polyamorous or inclined towards polyamory and not currently in a relationship of any kind with anyone.

If polyamorous ever just meant 'a relationship of more than two people' it certain doesn't mean that now.

Hostility on this thread is astounding.

*problem

Ffs, i cant type at all today!

That's not all it means in any case.

Urban dictionary:

fluid bond

A relationship in which partners are monogamous only with respect to the exchange of bodily fluids. Other activity with other partners, like safe sex, BDSM play, a brisk walk, etc. may be allowed or negotiable.

Sure, you can fuck my ass, face, and pussy, in that order! You'll just have to use a condom - my husband and I are in a fluid bond.

So that's lovely, then.

This is one thing I do struggle to get my head around. I don't get how this could appeal to anyone.

What do you get from this OP? How do you benefit from this arrangement? You get a man a few times a week who you share with someone else. You also get a woman who you can go with which sounds like a friend which I'm sure you have many of.

I can kind of see it if you both have two partners, but he is getting two, you get one and a friend. You don't even get one man, you get a share of one.

That is why I think your set up has got a lot of people I can see the benefits for him if you like that sort of thing, but nothing for you and the OW.

Bluespiral, my children will be told at some point, as DP is a permanent fixture in my life,^^ and I'd like - no, need - not to compartmentalise my life in the way I currently have to. Because that's difficult and upsetting for all of us. And I'm not ashamed of us and don't want to hide.

My question would be 'when' and 'how' rather than 'if'.

they have discovered a way to do exactly what they like, with no problems ever at all about anything

Unfair. The OP has suggested a PA parenting topic because there are "joys and challenges" involved in her choice of lifestyle.

Hennifer You've made it abundantly clear how much you disapprove yet you still want to keep posting just to make it extra clear how grotesque you find it

I'd like very much for a safe space to discuss poly parenting, but this tells me it will never be here.
Poly woman, married, just had twins with my husband, I'm in a pre-existing relationship with another woman (coming up for 16 years now, who is also married to someone else, who I occasionally fool around with (not fluid bonded) my husband has a girlfriend, she is also married, her husband also has other relationships, due to the complex nature of our polycule we choose safe sex, partly because in our separate partnerships people are ttc.
Mumsnet has a dozen or more acronyms you have to learn before you can ask a question but poly folk are using "special words to make ourselves feel better".
Feel free to pm me OP I'll recommend some resources that are less judgemental and ignorant.

Yes, I am rather.

It's not that uncommon for a fella to have two "wives" round here. Lots of Muslim chaps have a Sharia (think that's the right word) Wife and then an English Wife/girlfriend as well. Both women know about each other and accept it for what it is. Never heard them call it polyamourous, but I don't really know the definition of that.

I don't think anyone should judge anyone elses relationship to be honest. We might not know what the OSO thinks of it all. But we don't know what the dps of many other people think on here and take what the OP says is true as being true when offering advice.

I could personally see the advantages of a set up like this. Only having to share a bed 3 nights a week. Plenty of me time in between but without the uncertainty of being single or dating. No expectations to live together or get married. Another woman who I presume I would be.emotionally close to.

Maybe it's a bit unconventional. Maybe it's difficult to imagine. But I personally find it as difficult to comprehend as same sex couples. Ie not for me but can see the appeal.

And I can see set ups like this becoming more commonplace as society becomes more permissive. 50 years ago same sex couples having the right to marry would have been shocking. People born as one sex but legally identitying as an other would have been shocking. Even maybe women being the earner and dads staying at home with the dcs would have been controversial.

And poly whatever you want to be isn't exactly a new concept is it?

Hennifer - genuinely didn't realise it would be a phrase that would be unfamiliar. Fluid bonded is a common term amongst poly circles (and, I thought, general circles) for people with whom you have sex without a barrier. But shorter.

I wouldn't have volunteered it as it's not really relevant, but I was asked, so I answered.

Same as which phequer said.

You can be polyamorous or inclined towards polyamory and not currently in a relationship of any kind with anyone.*

Of course you can but there's no evidence that the OP is or has ever been PA.

phequer but she could do, if she wanted to. She has the ability to do that. She is not monogamous.

Wikipedia definition is slightly better: the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships involving more than two people.

Yes, let's take an urban dictionary definition seriously as it gives us another opportunity to be needlessly unpleasant to the OP.