To request mumsnet to add a 'polyamorous families' section under parenting?

[whycantwegoonasthree]

There's every other kind of family type, pretty much, and polyamorous families have some unique joys and challenges that it would be nice to share and discuss.

Or maybe we're the last frontier and even MN aren't ready to go there.

Yet.

Thegeekmyths. How is this a lifestyle choice. Being monogamous is a social conditioned situation, so I guess that could be classed more as a lifestyle choice.

If what you feel inside is the ability to look at the love you give as an open ended pot then it is hardly a choice.

It's all such bollocks, I'm surprised anyone has taken this seriously.

I'll join thisisnot, it's actually been quite amusing to see some of them getting so worked up over it.

Assorted posters - how do you think you might react if I (and a squillion others) persistently told you that although there might be a handful of people who can make it work, all the monogamous heterosexual relationships I've ever seen have been frighteningly exploitative. And that's before you even think about bringing children into such an alarmingly unbalanced 'family' setup. And for every question you answer about your relationship, I confidently say how worrying it sounds. Do you think you might start feeling a little defensive? A little pissed off? A little more determined not to share information unless you absolutely had to? MN is full of speculation on other people's relationships, but mostly it comes from the assumption that there is such a thing as a healthy and supportive monogamous heterosexual relationship, and pointing out ways that people's lives fall short of that. This (for the most part) is different - if the OP had said she was in a relationship with two men, she'd be told she was being used; if she'd said she was in a relationship with a woman who had a male partner, she'd be told she was titillation for the bloke; she can't win.

For what it's worth I think the above is not true (monogamy works brilliantly for many, imperfectly but well enough for many more; as long as everyone is happy and choosing freely, rock on). But I wonder whether it might help some PPs think about how this thread has been responded to.

Twinklestein. The real bollocks are comments like yours.

My post was a response to Phequer at 17.05.

And for those at the back it's not about agreeing or disagreeing with the OP.

Well actually a lot of Het relationships are shit. But that does not detract from the fact that in relationships such as the OP describes, nearly always someone is being exploited.

Hi Cleaty please can you provide evidence to support that assertion?

Phequer - in brief because frankly you keep asking the same questions over and over and I have answered them about as many time as I can bear...

I posted on AIBU to see if there was anyone apart from me on here who would be interested in a board where poly folk could talk about the things that affect them as parents.

Things like how when and what to tell one's young(ish) children, and what to do if your EX seeks to remove you from your children's lives on the basis of you being in a non traditional relationship.

And without having to deal with repetitive and boring shit like yours constantly, frankly.

Sorry. I think my patience may have just run out.

I think if someone posted a thread asking if it's ok to have a man live in the family home for half the week and share the family finances and have the children who live in the house know nothing about it most people would say yabu, Whether you tell them about the polygamy is a choice but I think it's unfair not to tell them he exists and that he's sharing their house!

I've not complained about your robustness, phequer, merely your repetitiveness.

I've reported the thread and asked MNHQ to consider my request. I'll let you know if I get a response.

The subgroups under parenting are very quiet, even for communities with large populations, e.g. Step-parenting, Lgbt parenting, lone parenting, sahp. The demand for a poly board would be much lower.

Surely there is much more opportunity for contact and discussion within poly social groups and relevant lifestyle forums, than to seek a newly created board here that would inevitably have a tiny subscription. I see little point in continual sub-division and categorisation of the type the OP suggests.

But I think this thread is not really about gauging appetite for a poly sub-board, it's actually an excuse for the OP to talk at length about a relatively new-found lifestyle that she is excited about. I think the OPs protestations that she is only answering queries as they arise is disingenuous, and her handwringing about more people needing to understand polyamory is patronising. Poly relationships have been around in many guises and societies for a long time. They are not difficult to understand.

I think the OP should stop being so self-absorbed, email site admin to ask, and then just get on with her life rather than sitting on this thread for over a day.

And there are many other places out there in the internet where you can ask about poly parenting I linked to them previously. Have you asked there?

I'm shocked that in a site that has a sex topic and as diverse topics as Films, Money, Pets, Sex, Academic's Corner even, a pp is actually told to fuck off elsewhere and that MN is not for them.

Why the hell should we have to go to other places on the internet anyway? Is there no space left on Mumsnet? As the op said, she'd like to be able to tap into the thoughts of the huge numbers of posters on Mumsnet. As I have said, Mumsnet is a voice for women and poly women have as much right as anyone else to have a safe some here. Personally I think it would be no bad thing to raise awareness of poly here and try to bust the myths around it too. this thread just shows how much ignorance is out there.

Obviously she posted on AIBU for traffic. Frankly I'm sick of this situation now that if you post on AIBU, you will get a guaranteed pasting and if you complain are then told its your own fault for posting on AIBU....

What you have is a polygamous relationship. Which is very common among Muslim communities even in the UK. Perhaps if you search Muslim boards you might get more luck then mumsnet.

That's actually funny Stairway.