To request mumsnet to add a 'polyamorous families' section under parenting?

[whycantwegoonasthree]

There's every other kind of family type, pretty much, and polyamorous families have some unique joys and challenges that it would be nice to share and discuss.

Or maybe we're the last frontier and even MN aren't ready to go there.

Yet.

Polyamory as described is simply a lifestyle choice and you cannot compare it with a monogamous gay couple having children. We all make lifestyle decisions and it is for the individual to ask themselves what impact it will have on their children. many people make sacrifices to ensure their children have a positive childhood.

Well whycantwe i did wonder if maybe that hug comment earlier was an attempt to have sex with me then make me the second OW for that greedy man you're glamourising.

Twinklestein, I assure you I haven't, but go on, call me and out and out liar by all means.at least you're doing it to my face, but it's pretty breathtaking all the same.

Let me know the name of the poster of the other thread to which you refer though please. Maybe I'll pm her. Was she delusional and/or a liar in your book too?

A quick 'advanced search' on polyamory and a read through the results from the relationships board was enough to convince me that wouldn't be the place for this subject on an ongoing basis.

FFS.

This thread is quite a timely one for me as I have reading a lot on poly relationships recently, as that's the way my life is going ATM.
My situation is that dp and I are both 'seeing' a woman- individually and together. We are all very good friends too and our children's lives are closely entwined. I started seeing her first - so in my case it's definitely not about the man getting his way. Would love a poly board on mumsnet.

The geekmyths, I didn't compare it to a monogamous heterosexual couple having children.

But if I believed that having four committed loving adults invested in the wellbeing of my children was likely to be damaging to them I wouldn't do it. But there is no research to say it does. Quite the opposite.

My hope is that they'll grow up to believe in individuals' right to choose the type and nature of the relationships they want to have, and to be tolerant and broad minded of those who make different choices.

OP, after all this have you actually asked for a board and received a concrete answer from HQ?

Otherwise it seems you're going round in circles with posters who have already decided the status of your relationship.

Clopysow, you got me. It was. But you know we poly types, we'll literally fuck anyone who gets close enough for us to grab hold of. Especially if they're happily monogamous. They're our favourite kind.

Anyway. Interested?

I don't personally understand the millennial need to LABEL all human sexual and amorous behaviour, make up a new language around it, "identify" with it and then discuss it ad nauseam, disclosing it all over the place.

I am certainly "sexually fluid", really bisexual, but I'm a mid-30 something woman with a husband and three boys who has no current interest in another sexual or amorous relationship so quite frankly bleating on about it outside of my personal relationship is highly irrelevant to everyone but me. It would be like making it HIGHLY RELEVANT that I must tell everyone I was once asthmatic, or am type O blood type, came from an alcoholic home and have had depression and anxiety. It's just not their business and unless relevant to a conversation, I'm not going to speak about it.

What in your current situation requires outside understanding of your current feelings towards your partner and the OSO by anyone? You do realise that you can just, you know, get on and have the relationships you're having as you're having them, introducing your partner as any parent introduces any partner and introducing OSO in whatever way best describes your current relationship?

So when my gay and lesbian friends stay at my house, I don't make a song and dance about it with my kids. They come as a couple, they act as a couple, they are spoken to as a couple, they go to bed as a couple. There's no TALK about it. The acceptance is in the acceptance, in the being rather than the labelling.

As for fluid-bonded, I mean, WHY? Why is this even a thing? Who on earth need's to know that about anyone EVER outside of the relationship(s) you are in?

Curiously, I didn't think it was the OP who had the need to discuss her relationship. Other pps did.

Fusion confusion while I agree, there are aspects it would be helpful to discuss with other similarly-minded people. Others feel that, which I guess is why there are boards for LGBTQ parents and the like.

Which was my question in the first place. The more detail came about by trying to respond to genuine questions, even hostile ones. I think if more people understood it better there would be less hostility in real life. Because hostility is rife ATM.

As for 'fluid bonded', somebody asked about STDs and condoms, and I attempted to answer clearly but succinctly using a term which is very common in alternative circles (and I thought more widely, but I guess not) but which apparently shocked and horrified some people on here.

Because words can be oh so shocking, I guess? Dunno, I'm not easily shocked, I suppose.

Adrenaline, I will (I think) but not yet. Been out and about having a lovely day with my DCs...

I thought there were 3 of you? Or are you counting your children's father as the fourth. But you said he wouldn't be happy with the set up so presumably tension would be created there.

Has there been research on outcomes for children from polyamorous relationships? Would be very interesting to read to see the issues which the children have faced growing up. I suppose it would depend on whether the research was undertaken in cultures where polygamy is accepted, or from cultures, such as ours, where it is an unconventional lifestyle choice?

Really Lweji? I just think the thread is one massive vie for attention.

I'm assuming that whatever hostility occurs between me and my EXH he would still be invested in the wellbeing of his children, yes. Strange question.

And in answer to your second question, 'yes a fair bit actually' and 'both'.

OP, after all this have you actually asked for a board and received a concrete answer from HQ?

OP said they would ask today.

It might be a vie for attention (who knows?), but it was massively derailed by people questioning the OP's private life instead of offering their opinions on whether a separate topic was necessary.

Fusion, by your standards, the whole of MN should close down then? Afterall, mostly everthing I read in all the boards here could be classified as none of my fucking business. So should people just not discuss anything on mn unless its deemed worthy of being other peoples business . Maybe the weather, is that everyone's business?

I'd be really interested in reading that research primarily from a professional perspective. Have you got any references or point me in the right direction? Thanks!

Thegeekmyths - Google.com.

Seriously, there's plenty and it's not hard to find.

Hey, i'm totally down for it.

I'm the fourth now.

I'll send a cheque over shortly to support our bloke.

Love you, you gorgeous attention seeker you xxx

Actually to try and more helpful and less arsey, the 'more than two' site (Franklin Veaux) and the book of the same name is a good place to start, although it's from a 'pro' standpoint obvs.

but which apparently shocked and horrified some people on here

I didn't know what it was but it did sound pretty coarse and I thought/hoped it had been a typo - then I googled it.

In the old days and when a relationship involved one woman and two men it was said one of the men was stirring another mans porridge. And to be honest 'fluid bonded' doesn't sound much better but that could in part be due to the amount of women I now know Ive been fluid bonded to during the course of my marriage.

Its all just so ugly - fluid bonded.

I think you're making this up as you go along

Make it a big one Clopysow? He's got expensive tastes, and there's mine and OSOs yoga habit to support.

Meanwhile... LOOK AT ME!!

Based on what - the Geekmyths?

Although actually, that's kind of the point. So long as everyone is considerate, honest and careful.