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Original poster

to be in love with a 16 year old

554 replies

swordandsparrow · 04/03/2016 12:47

Im 23 with one child whos nearly 2.
He is 16, nearly 17 but has a proper baby face and could easily pass for 13 if he wasnt so tall.
We met at college where I study as a mature student.
Am i wrong to pursue this relationship, i really like him and we get on great but my friend at college says its wrong and i am too old for him Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
swordandsparrow · 04/03/2016 18:02

Well I've gone 8 months without doing anything so far and as I've said , already took a step back
I'm sure I can give it a year and see how things pan out then

OP posts:
Narp · 04/03/2016 18:03

This is all very well in theory, but I have a 15 year old son; I know what teenage boys are like, and I'd be appalled. I'm sorry because I'm sure you are very nice. But he's a boy.

It's not the age gap - it's that he's a boy and you're a woman with a child.

Sparklingbrook · 04/03/2016 18:04

He might be off to University in a year.

AdrenalineFudge · 04/03/2016 18:05

Interesting first post.

OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 04/03/2016 18:05

Opposite sexes in my case but I got together with DP when I was 16 and he was 25.

We've been together over 5 years, one DD together, a hugely strong relationship and we don't notice any age gap these days because I can be mature when I want to be and he can be daft when he wants to be so we sort of meet in the middle at a nice sort of 25 Grin

HooseRice · 04/03/2016 18:05

Mature student at 23?

chaplin1409 · 04/03/2016 18:05

I met my husband when I was 16 and he Was 25 we have been married 16 years now but saying that my daughter is 15 and at 16 I would not want her to be involved with somebody that much older as 16 is so young still.

Narp · 04/03/2016 18:05

I wonder if you have a connection with him because he's young and carefree. And nice. He may represent some kind of promise. I understand that. But you and your child stand to get really hurt

Original poster
swordandsparrow · 04/03/2016 18:06

I name changed , I've been a member for over a year

OP posts:
thecatfromjapan · 04/03/2016 18:06

Not if he's 16, Sparkling. 2 years. Ds is old in his year and was 16 taking his GCSEs. 18 taking A levels.

Original poster
swordandsparrow · 04/03/2016 18:06

And yes, you're considered a mature student over 19 at the college I go to

OP posts:
OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 04/03/2016 18:07

Hoose over 21 is mature at the uni we went to.

Sparklingbrook · 04/03/2016 18:07

My DS is 16 and could be going to University next year cat.

Sparklingbrook · 04/03/2016 18:08

Meaning he would start September 2017 that is.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 04/03/2016 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MeMySonAndl · 04/03/2016 18:12

When I was 17, I had a boyfriend who was 24. I was full of dreams, plans and wanting some adventure. He was pretty much Ready to settle down.

He first tried to convince me not to go to university, then that my plans were stupid, after that I was not good enough to do things independently. When my sister told me he had bought a ring and was planning to propose on my 18th birthday, I freaked out so badly that couldn't face the idea to see him again Blush

ElderlyKoreanLady · 04/03/2016 18:16

I came on here to get a bit of perspective

And the replies haven't given you any?

ArmchairTraveller · 04/03/2016 18:16

It's not just the age difference, there's the same gap between me and my partner. But I was 21, with three years of being an independent adult behind me before we got together, and enough experience to know what I was choosing.
And no children, so we did a lot of things as a couple of young adults that having a child would have made very difficult, from travelling to nightlife to the freedom of being a couple.
So no, as the parent, I wouldn't be happy.
As the parent of a 16 year old, I'd be reminding them about condoms, STIs and trying to offer them a range of other activities to give them a bit of balance and perspective about what life has to offer. he's not too young for sex and enjoying it, but he's too young to be in a serious relationship with you IMO.

PrivatePike · 04/03/2016 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Narp · 04/03/2016 18:17

I can believe he's causing after her. She's probably different from girls his age. But she needs to protect herself and him.

ArmchairTraveller · 04/03/2016 18:18

'OP can you explain how he's chasing after you?'

When I was 16, I was one of many teenagers chasing after each other for sex and jollies. But a relationship with a child involved? Not so much.

Original poster
swordandsparrow · 04/03/2016 18:19

Yes I have got some perspective where did I say I hadn't ?
I didn't expect to be basically called a paedophile !

OP posts:
MsJamieFraser · 04/03/2016 18:19

There is a 7 year age gap between you, and while there is nothing wrong with this, somehow it makes me feel uneasy, only because you class him as baby faced.

Legally its OK, morally is another however.

Original poster
swordandsparrow · 04/03/2016 18:21

This is why I have refused to act on any feelings .
Its a case of heart saying one thing , head another as cringe as it sounds

OP posts:
ArmchairTraveller · 04/03/2016 18:22

Well, unfortunately some will see you as an opportunistic predator using college as a hunting ground. My FE college had a number of older men who happily selected partners from the teenagers just out of school, but that was in the 70s. It's less acceptable now.