to be in love with a 16 year old

[swordandsparrow]

Im 23 with one child whos nearly 2.
He is 16, nearly 17 but has a proper baby face and could easily pass for 13 if he wasnt so tall.
We met at college where I study as a mature student.
Am i wrong to pursue this relationship, i really like him and we get on great but my friend at college says its wrong and i am too old for him

I feel really hypocritical.. In the one sense I was with my now husband when I was 17 and he was 29. It didn't last long and we married in MH 30s.

On the other if it was my 16 yr old son I would quite probably pin you up the wall snarling. Most odd!

He's a bit young and he may quite happily go to bed with you and show off his milf for a few months but don't pin down a serious relationship and maybe wait until he's not 16 anymore. In a few years time age doesn't matter imo.

Interesting comment upthread - I would rather he went out and about with his peer group and concentrated on his studies - as if all 16 yo's going "out and about" are concentrating on their studies.

At the age of 16 I would classify him as a young man capable of making his own mind up. If he wants to be in a relationship with OP he will do it and not give a thought to what his parents think (as young people should do at 16).

I would be more concerned about the OP getting trodden over than him - young men are surprisingly resilient.

Apologies to the parents of 16 year old boys on here today who have contributed - but most 16 yo's are not naive. They all know what a shag is and how babies are made.

I give up. I've been waiting for this thread to disappear. My eyebrows are so high that I have a face-lift.

I've tried to abide by the mn guidelines but ...
@ 'lazerquest' date.

I would rather he went out and about with his peer group and concentrated on his studies - as if all 16 yo's going "out and about" are concentrating on their studies

I think you missed the word AND.

Yes, they do know what a shag is and how babies are made. And if they want to share girls their own age, who are free and also consenting to said shag then all is cool.

Very different to getting into a relationship with an adult with a toddler.

Speaking of toddler, where's your child's father, OP? What on earth would he think of a mid-teen getting involved with his child?

I may be tarred and feathered here but I had a fling with a 16 year old when I was 22. Didn't last, but it was fun and we stayed friends for many years. I don't think I scarred him, although he did go on to a long term relationship with a woman in her late 20s with DC that started when he was 19 so maybe I did condition him or something. He was a pretty mature 16 year old though. Agree with people who say most 16 year olds won't be ready.

Give in, PrivatePike, give in.

You know him, we don't do you have that much in common? You are at very different life stages which I think is more relevant than the actual age gap.

You will do what you want to do anyway irrespective of what anyone on here says, but don't expect any sustained commitment from him.

I'm 16 and in love with my cat. It is truly the love that date not speak it's name. The cat has been giving me meaningful looks.
I HAD to post on AIBU about it ...

but most 16 yo's are not naive. They all know what a shag is and how babies are made

But what they probably don't know is that some sad bastard adults seek out relationships with those who are young to wield more control and power in a relationship. They use their experience over their partner to inflate their own ego and self importance and minimise the youngster's role and agency in the dynamic.

My friend says it looks like a kitten but it is very mature for it's age ...

I think it would be a good idea to begin meeting men who are of an age where getting involved with family life would be realistic. It's possible that you could be lonely - having a baby alone can be isolating - and that has skewed your perceptions.

A man of, say, 25-30 or so will be a lot more likely to fulfil your expectations.

I don't mind that we can't go to clubs together. I'm more interested in chasing bits of paper around the house, anyway.

OP. If you'd have met him just twelve months ago, this would be grooming. Just a thought.

More to the point, you appear selfish. You don't even appear to have considered the effects of introducing this manchild into your son's life, have made no mention of your child's father and appear to have no consideration for the potential effects of a relationship win icing a [your] small child on the 16 year old. You have fizzy knickers, we get that, but be the bloody grown up.

I'm not entirely sure why you posted though as you appear to be totally ignoring/arguing with the majority view.

Somehow I don't think the boy is pushing to take responsibility for a single mother and toddler, he's just pushing for a shag. If another pregnancy resulted, I doubt he'd be particularly philosophical! It's certainly not maturity that is making him "push it", that's for sure!

I'm going to have to hide my phone, or we'll end up with a tling-off from MNHQ.