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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Shoes off house rule

840 replies

BettyBi0 · 02/03/2016 16:11

So we have a shoes off rule in our house. Mainly because of the grubby London streets and dog poo everywhere locally plus a floor licking toddler.

Every time my parents visit I have to ask them to take their shoes off. EVERY Fing TIME! They act like its such a massive imposition.

AIBU or would you just shut up and put up?

OP posts:

Out2pasture · 02/03/2016 18:00

No shoes in the house is reasonable. Do you have a seat or bench to make taking them off comfortable. Do you have guest slippers available?

JessieMcJessie · 02/03/2016 18:02

"The engineered oak in the family room"- how terribly MN!

The difference between putting your feet up on a train seat and walking on someone's carpet is that trains don't have doormats so you have not been able to wipe your feet first.

RockUnit · 02/03/2016 18:05

You wouldn't put your feet on a chair on the bus/tube/train because someone will have to sit there, so why wipe them all over the carpet where the owner's may walk barefoot, babies crawl, and children sit?

They don't have doormats on the bus/tube/train.

flirtygirl · 02/03/2016 18:07

YADNBU
Definitely no shoes off home. All my family and all my life have been this way, please dont visit me if you want to keep your shoes on, as i have to live here and could not relax with the thought of a visitor traipsing in dog poo and spit and mess. Years ago at my mums, a visitor dragged in dog poo, she has a shoes off home and at least it was therefore confined to her hallway, (for her to clean up) imagine if they had gone all around the house in their poo covered shoes, gross.

To those who think it rude, i think its strange you keep your shoes on all day, and yes ive had parties and allowed shoes on but then i just deep cleaned the next day and returned my floors back to their normal clean state.

I personally check if pets go on worktops too, if so no accepting food or drink in that home, but hey, thats just me. (pet free, smoke free, shoes off home)

RockUnit · 02/03/2016 18:11

I've been to quite a few "shoes off" households but never been given "guest slippers" thank goodness.

Not sure I'd want to carry around a pair of slipper socks around in my bag the whole time though!

usual · 02/03/2016 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JessieMcJessie · 02/03/2016 18:19

Would you also take the piss about having to remove your shoes at all usual or is it just the slippers that you'd find funny?

Seeyounearertime · 02/03/2016 18:22

Can someone from the "Shoes Off" camp please explain what would happen in this scenario:

A woman, lets call her Woman A, works for a large company in an office of 40 people. She wears a pair of new shoes to work one day and kicks them off as they're pinching a little. for the rest of the day she wanders the office in her Be-Socked feet. later that day she visits a "Shoes off" house, she dutifully removes her new shoes and wanders her friends home in her socks.

Thing is, her socks are carrying all the muck and dirt of the office, she's just dragged it all through YOUR house, what do you do?

TheFormidableMrsC · 02/03/2016 18:23

What Maryz said. I have been in that position...going to dinner party, wearing a dress and heels and feeling an absolute dick when asked to remove heels and standing there in dress (which suddenly looks like a sack of shit) and tights.

I never ask people to remove their shoes when they are visiting and it is entirely up to them if they offer. I do ask my youngest child to remove his as he's a mud magnet. I hoover and mop every night so it's no big deal.

Phalenopsisgirl · 02/03/2016 18:24

I don't ask guests to remove shoes as I would feel rude to do so, the only exception would be stilettos as we have wood floors downstairs I wouldn't want a guest to suffer the embarassment of realising they have sunk into the floor! However if I visit someone else's home I would remove my shoes automatically, only stopping if they insisted. I don't wear shoes in my own home.

crunchynutclustersdevilswork · 02/03/2016 18:24

I went to a house party two years ago. Like a proper old-fashioned teenage house party: Loud drum and bass pumping from the building before you even get inside, sweat clinging to the walls, not able to move without accidentally slapping someone round the face, takes twenty minutes to get from one side of the room to the other, people shagging in the bedrooms upstairs and someone vomiting into the downstairs loo kind of house party.

but there was still someone at the door, asking each arriving guest to take their shoes off and leave them in the hall!

Sparklingbrook · 02/03/2016 18:24

That's a pretty weird and unlikely scenario TBF See.

usual · 02/03/2016 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

987flowers · 02/03/2016 18:27

I think people who keep shoes on can't walk far. There is dog shit along with general mud etc on the pavements just walking the children to school, why would I want that in my house? Perhaps if you only ever get in your car and get out to work it is different but I find it very strange that anyone who walks on the pavements around here would want that crap in their house!

People will never agree about this though!

Abigailsfarty · 02/03/2016 18:30

I hate shoes indoors, and prefer people to take them off in my home. I have a crawler and prefer to have clean carpets. I always remove my own shoes in other people's homes even if not asked.

ILs never take shoes off when they come round. I know it's petty but now when I visit them I leave my shoes on on purpose, but fuck me it feels weird to do so.

SatsGrrrr · 02/03/2016 18:31

I'm with those who think that "shoes off" houses (unless for religious or cultural reasons) are a bit Hyacinth Bucket I'm afraid.

Me too A bit of dirt never hurt anyone

MyLocal · 02/03/2016 18:31

YANBU. Personally if someone calls to drop something off and venture no further than the kitchen or hall they can keep their shoes on (tiles/Amtico) - if they want to come in and sit down and step on carpets, shoes off. It is not unreasonable to not want outdoor footwear on a carpet.

To be fair, all my friends and relatives (other than parents who bring their own slippers LOL) slip their shoes off without being asked.

mercifulTehlu · 02/03/2016 18:32

987flowers I have a large dog, whom I take on long walks twice a day, but I don't wear my muddy dog-walking boots if I'm going round to someone's house! Dog poo is very smelly. You know if you've got it on your shoes.

BeetlebumShesAGun · 02/03/2016 18:35

My grandparents are like this. When someone reminds them to take their shoes off one of them usually says "oh they're clean"... I don't care take them off!

I'm not particularly precious but we rent and our LL is fussy about the carpet so i want to keep it as clean as possible!

Hulababy · 02/03/2016 18:38

We have no shoes on upstairs - so living room and bedrooms. We have pale coloured carpets to start with, let alone not wanting the general dirt and debris from pavements outside trailed across the floors where we prefer to be barefoot or in socks.

Downstairs I don't mind - we have wooden floors down there. TBH when we have people over for meals, etc. who are more likely to keep shoes on we tend to stay down there anyway - Its where the new kitchen dining extension is, and we deliberately choose comfortable dining chairs for down there as using that room was the intention of the build.

Mind you, most people we know don't wear shoes inside.

PILs bring their slippers with them - they don't wear shoes at home much either, but always wear slippers.

I would automatically remove my shoes if going into someone's carpeted house.

Hulababy · 02/03/2016 18:39

I don't think I have ever actually asked anyone though - everyone just does remove them if coming upstairs. Even workmen take their shoes off if heading up the stairs, without being asked.

Mistigri · 02/03/2016 18:39

We don't have a remove shoes rule as we have easily-cleaned (and cold!) tiles throughout - though the kids habitually wander around barefoot and I usually wear flipflops indoors.

I can understand it if you have carpets or delicate flooring, though. I have a Japanese friend who keeps a shoe-free house and it doesn't bother me at all.

Sallystyle · 02/03/2016 18:42

Everyone takes their shoes off in this house except for my mum.

I don't bother telling her anymore. To be fair, she isn't rude so I think she just forgets and I can't be bothered to keep telling her.

I have wood floors so it's not really a big deal and she is obviously more comfortable with them on and while I prefer shoes off people's comfort is more important to me.

Hulababy · 02/03/2016 18:42

Have to say - I really doubt anyone would suffer from cold toes here either though. Our house is always really warm.

ToastDemon · 02/03/2016 18:44

I'm in the Middle East and shoes are left at the front door.

In the UK we had cream carpets throughout our nice new house so shoes came off if people came to visit. I never have shoes on at home myself and prefer to have completely bare feet whenever possible.
We also both liked sitting on the carpet a lot so didn't really want to sit where people's outdoor shoes had been.

We never had formal dinner parties or dressy-up parties so that wasn't an issue.

It was, apart from the carpets getting dirty, the thought of the filth. Where I lived, people seemed to love nothing more than covering the entire pavement with revolting gobs. The thought of standing in that, and it getting onto the carpet where I sit or stretch out in my nice clean nighty, was not a pleasant one. Fuck all to do with being a Hyacinth type at all.

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