Shoes off house rule

[BettyBi0]

So we have a shoes off rule in our house. Mainly because of the grubby London streets and dog poo everywhere locally plus a floor licking toddler.

Every time my parents visit I have to ask them to take their shoes off. EVERY Fing TIME! They act like its such a massive imposition.

AIBU or would you just shut up and put up?

I've been to a baronet's house. I was not expected to remove my shoes but there was a boot scraper and a doormat. I also know a lord but have never visited him at home so don't know what the protocol is. I'm half wondering if Debretts offers any guidance.

I am not posh. I know these people through work and am still puzzled to find myself chatting to them.

Now that's completely different to my experience - the houses that are 'shoes off' have always been working class. The middle class people I know are not bothered.

Shoes off here.

I couldn't care less that it's a working class thing (american here).

I think your parents are probably railing against the fact they have to do something you are asking them to do - sounds like a control issue to me.

I would keep telling them but maybe do the head tilt and ask "Why do I always have to remind you of this?"

Shoes off in my house. I used to have a friend who was a Viscountess ( I am not posh, I met her whilst travelling) and she always took her shoes off and we had to take our shoes off when going to her flat. I never went to her parents house though so don't know if that's how she was brought up, or if, like me, she just didn't want shit/chewing gum all over her carpets.

I wouldn't dream of asking people to take their shoes off coming in to my house. Just wouldn't cross my mind

chilipepper shoes off is middle class not working class.

Shoes off isn't middle class. Well maybe lower middle class, if we are distinguishing. None of the Middle/upper families we know anyway are shoes off households.

"Shoes off isn't middle class. Well maybe lower middle class, if we are distinguishing."

That's your experience. As I've mentioned above, mine is different. When I was a child it was seen as 'posh'. Now, that didn't mean aristocrats, just people a bit higher up than us (lower middle class) so it would definitely have meant middle class. I don't remember being asked to take shoes off in a council house or an ordinary family home.

Some of these things travel down the class system so it may have moved downwards now with the upper/middle-middle class distinguishing themselves from it and moving back to shoes?

Many people have mentioned that it seems to be generational as well, as in the OP's own situation.

I would think its roots are working class, as it would have been harder financially in the past for them to replace floor coverings. True middle classes would have put guest comfort first. It's probably people that aspire to be middle class in a lot of cases. Although I don't equate MN with being the truest representation of the real world, this amazes me more than most things. It's not something I've ever come across in 50 years.

I'd agree Tiggery. The upper classes wouldn't put their guest at risk of embarrasment by suggesting it. They may have ordered tradesmen to, but not guests.

This is something I first came across in Germany, where it was very much the norm. Simple slippers were sometimes offered, but not always. Since then, I've travelled around Eastern Europe a fair amount, and it expected more or less everywhere there. In the Czech Republic, the children even have indoor and outdoor shoes at school, changing them every time they go in/out.

It's so normal to us now that we all automatically take off our shoes when we go into a house!

Nope. I come from a very working class family and no one would have dreamed of asking visitors to take shoes off. Kids with muddy shoes, yes. But that is all.
Lower middle class people who were crazy enough to buy white carpets - yes.

No one who is shoes off seems to care if people have to walk around bare foot in their house?

But the upper classes and working classes are quite similar in their manners in many ways. It's the middle classes determined to get away from working class roots, or aspire to the aristocracy, that get it wrong. Anyway, class is very transient these days, so it'll all get mixed up in the end.

I have cream carpets and people always say when I open the door "oh shall I take my shoes off"
I'm not really fussed. Have horses so if you're caked in shit, obviously would prefer you to kick them off!
Just want guests to be comfy and for some people that's shoes on, for some friends they bring pjs and slipper socks, entirely up to them. I want them to be relaxed and not on edge

It would be impossible to replace my carpet.

It's older (much older) that my eldest living relative

Prioritising floors over guest comfort - it's lower middle class.

Yep^

People keep going on about dog shit and chewing gum. I honestly can not remember the last time I stepped on dog shit or chewing gum.

We have dogs. We chew gum , no dog shit or chewed gum on our floors. Wouldn't cross my mind. It never happens.

People from shoes on and shoes off households live in parallel universes/dimensions and never meet, except now it's happened on Mumsnet

Something I have never come across is people NOT wearing socks unless they are women in sandals or dressy-up shoes.

And some are worried about people's bare feet on their floor, where bare feet would come from? Surely if it's that dry and warm outside that they wear sandals, you wouldn't expect them to take them off, and if it's wet and dirty they will have socks or tights on their feet?

Surely enclosing your feet in shoes right on bare skin would make your feet terribly sweaty?!

Also, people who wear shoes they walked the streets in all day in the house, do you wear them in your (carpeted) bedrooms? Those who have carpeted upstairs, do you??

Not in my own home. No. ?

It's an aspirational thing, caring more about your floors than your guests, I agree it's very lower middle class.

I havnt read the entire thread as its huge, but has different cultures been mentioned?

Being Asian, it's absolutely normal to take your shoes off in someone else's house/expect to have shoes taken off in your house.

Especially in a Muslim household, it's even more important as many people pray on the ground and want a clean carpet. It's nothing to do with class in my culture!