Shoes off house rule

[BettyBi0]

So we have a shoes off rule in our house. Mainly because of the grubby London streets and dog poo everywhere locally plus a floor licking toddler.

Every time my parents visit I have to ask them to take their shoes off. EVERY Fing TIME! They act like its such a massive imposition.

AIBU or would you just shut up and put up?

It's a class thing apparently.

The idea is that a good host will do everything to ensure their hosts comfort and do nothing to make them uncomfortable, hence why asking them to remove their shoes (which may form part of an outfit designed to make them feel at their best) is considered rude. It's also an off-hand way of saying 'hey, we can afford to change the carpet if it gets ruined' - or in the case of the truly upper class - it's a sign of good breeding if the £50,000 oriental rug is covered in mud and dog hair.

It's also entirely a matter for each household IMO. I'd never ask guests to remove shoes, but I always ask if I should remove mine when I visit somewhere, particularly if there are young children around who spend so much more time in close proximity to the floor.

I hate shoes in my flat because we take shoes off in my culture. I went to a Japanese lady's house and she had a shoes off rule and also offered slippers so no bare toesies.

I always remove my shoes when entering someone else's house, i have been conditioned to do this since childhood.

Each unto their own IMHO. I'm 3rd generation no shoes in house rule. I do compromise tho' . All ground floor laminate and rugs. Next 2 floors just carpets. So if you need to go upstairs, a polite request to remove shoes. I've not had any bother. But even if I did friends and family know where I'm coming from.

We had building work done last year. There were people who came and insisted on taking their bloody shoes off even after I pointed out there was dust and building materials everywhere. If one of them had crippled themselves on a nail who'd have been liable?

Frosty
Hmm. I always assume that shoes off houses will also have serviettes and lounges and settees and they eat sweet instead of pudding. It's all a bit laboured delicacy. I do it, but I judge people.

What this poster conveniently ignored in her desire to be snide was the large number of cultures where shoes off is the absolute norm. So she is welcome to judge me for marrying an immigrant if she wishes and to judge anyone else on the thread who is in a shoes of household for religious or cultural reasons. We live in West London where there is a high proportion of South Asian and Japanese families all of which would be shoes off. Shall we have a good snigger at them too.

I will admit my parents had a lounge and a settee in their shoes off house my mum is Finnish though and we definitely had pudding, not sweet and we had kitchen roll instead of serviettes.

While I have never experienced 'shoes off' as the norm and in fact have only ever been asked once in my cousin's house (and that was just 'no shoes upstairs' due to cream carpets) I probably wouldn't object if I was asked. Unless in the party situation. I don't get angry about it or anything! Just saying it's not something I've experienced! (Irish by the way not sure it's relevant!)

Yes Chaz, culturally prescribed behaviour is and always should be completely beyond criticism

Yanbu, I hate shoes in the house. I don't have the guts to ask MIL to take hers off, but secretly I dislike it very much. Never understood why people would wear shoes inside.

(I'm not english and in my home culture it is considered very rude to wear shoes indoors)

This has been done loads on here and the consensus is always that shoes off is rude and lower class.

Personally I prefer shoes off. I don't have posh cream carpets or a lounge, it's more this. The streets are covered in spit, dog shit, chewing gum, litter, fag ends and whatever else. I live in a busy city and the pavements are grim. You don't always know that you're stepping in it.

There was dog shit right outside my house for weeks. I refuse to clean it up because they are repeat offenders. The dog shit eventually got trodden in and rained on and it's still there now but just looks like bits of mud.

I don't want stuff like that or anything walked into my house unknowingly.

I don't care about feet or sweaty socks they're not the same, to me. I don't believe that people have freezing feet without shoes.

Schnitzel
We are talking about taking shoes off here not burning people at the stake. .

I didn't say all culturally proscribed behaviour should be beyond criticism but sneering about taking shoes off as lower middle class aspirational behaviour is ignoring the fact that for many people it is culture not class aspirations that is driving the particular behaviours.

Awwww. Shoes on/shoes off threads are my favourite in the People Have Very Strong Feelings On This thread category.

(just debating about proscribed and prescribed here
Proscribed - wearing shoes indoors
Prescribed - taking shoes off)

And yes that sign is in my hallway.

15 wonderful pages! I am firmly shoes ON. I think it is rude to ask people to remove shoes. I always offer but am hoping against hope they say no, don't bother.

I socialize with very few people who insist on this. Mother and one sis are shoes off insisters. They are both quite controlling people.

It's not controlling to be hygienic especially when you have kids and a baby that play on the floor.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude

Pendants Corner?
Surely you mean "Pedants Corner"

In my life I have only once encountered a shoes off household and was happy to go along with the house rules.

It's certainly not a rule in my house thought and to be honest I'd be a bit repelled by someone I didn't know taking their shoes off at the door.

As for the person upthread demanding a removal man take his shoes off? That's just madness.

I wonder if I will have to take my shoes off to go in...
Is it a shoes off Corner?

Chaz, in the UK there's a huge amount of class influence. In other cultures it may well be driven by different factors. I don't see the problem with holding both of those thoughts in one's head at the same time.

Chaz YY but if the behavioural rule exists because the valleys of Pakistan are dusty or Scandinavia is snowy or whatever, why should it be respected when those conditions no longer pertain? Obviously in the grand scheme of things it's not going to kill anyone to take their shoes off but I am generally wary of culture as a justification.

NO IT'S NOT A SHOES OFF CORNER