Sick of new bloke expecting me to clear up afer him

[Nikye]

Not been together long, about 6 months. Anyway he tends to stay at my house on a weekend and sometimes a couple of nights during the week. When he first started staying over he used to leave his cups and plates on the living room floor, clothes on the toilet after he'd had a shower etc and even crisp packets etc on the sofa. Ive told him over and over again not to do this as I don't like having to clear up after other people. He stops it for a while and then starts it up again. Last weekend he went for a shower and left all his clothes on the toilet again (so obviously the next person to use the toilet has to sort his clothes out first). I was tired and not in the mood so I just swiped them all onto the (wet) floor, used the toilet and left them there. Didn't mention it. When he went in he went mad saying I'd left his clothes on a wet floor!!!! We had yet another conversation about it saying I was sick of picking up his stuff and he still maintained that I was out of order but promised he'd stop doing it. That very same night I found used bog roll (that he'd been blowing his nose with) on the beside table. I told him to move it which he did (whilst calling me master ) and the next day I found crisp packets stuffed down the side of the sofa so I crammed them all into his coat pocket. Anyway he's buggered off home now and hasn't really been in touch much apart from to say he feels like I was getting at him all weekend and hopes it wouldn't always be like that.

Be honest did I go too far??? How else can I get him to understand?

[tallwivglasses]

Mantoddler - I'm pinching that

[Goingtobeawesome]

What are you going to do, OP?

[MidniteScribbler]

Please make sure you are using protection. Do not procreate with this twerp.

[LeaLeander]

Gross and disrespectful. What's to like?

Wonen need to stop tolerating & rewarding louts like this.

[wotoodoo]

He'll be leaving you skidmarked boxers for you to wash next (stuffed behind the sofa)

[nevertakeyouriphoneinthebath]

If he's actually shoving the crisp packets down the sofa he' s behaving like a sneaky child, not just like an untidy adult.

Tell him you will only see him at his place from now on. If it's too gross to go there then give him an ultimatum - he needs to pull himself together or lose you. If he can't get his act together then there is no future in this because you will never be able to live with him. You just are not compatible enough.

[wotoodoo]

You can also be sure he hasn't washed his knob for weeks.

[suzannecaravaggio]

This is him on his best behavior

[KatharinaRosalie]

crisp packets stuffed down the sofa? Who does that?? That's not even just being a lazy slob, that's a deliberate action. Wouldn't it be easier just to put them in the bin?

[MartinaJ]

First a thread about a DH throwing stuff at TV when he gets excited, then this.
I think I'm going to kiss my DH's smelly feet today, thank him for being him and don't mind him believing that our dishwasher is an autoloader and can even reach to the kitchen table for a week or two.

[RattieOfCatan]

Fuck that. LTB. The person I was with before DH was like that and it turned out that I was expected to look after him in all areas of life, writing his CV, organising his interviews, cooking his dinner, etc. I started to resent him after a year but thought I couldn't do better and stayed with him for a bit over a year after that point. All respect for him had gone well by then!

[LineyReborn]

He eats a lot of crisps, I'll give him that.

[lorelei9]

Martina, confused by your post? You are grateful for a DH who doesn't load the dishwasher? I must have misunderstood ....

[roundandroundthehouses]

It's well-worn advice, but very true in my experience: anything that's a minor niggle in the early stages in a relationship will become a much bigger issue if you stay together. Can you imagine the pair of you in ten years' time? If he's treating your home like that, he won't miraculously get his shit together if you end up sharing one. And he's already shown very clearly that any attempt you make at getting him to be more considerate will be greeted with accusations of nagging. I'd bin him.

[Inertia]

You can't get him to understand. He thinks you are his personal slave, and he is now punishing you for being insubordinate.

He won't change, so you can either bin him or stay with someone who has zero respect for you and regards you as an unpaid skivvy who needs to know her place and shut up.

[starsinyourpies]

Gross. Get rid and be very clear with him why!!

[Thelwell]

Release this animal back into the wilderness....and in the meantime step up contraception pronto

[SillyOldElfBackToYourself]

Thelwell

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

This is a compliance test. I suggest you fail it in a spectacular manner

This. I suggest that you visit him this weekend, treat his space in the manner to which he appears to think is acceptable and then dump him from a height.

[BettyBleue]

I think it's clear what you should do. At least he uses toilet roll to blow his nose though, my ex would use his hand as he saw it as a waste of toilet roll!

[MistressDeeCee]

Release this animal back into the wilderness hahaha

[etttvatre]

I'd stuff him down the side of the sofa.

[MartinaJ]

lorelei, I'm a firm believer in choosing my battles. In the grand scheme of things this is a minor issue, especially as we mostly live in harmony and both have our own share of mistakes and issues. He's not a slob otherwise so why should make an elephant out of a fly?

[PrincessMouse]

Definitely not. It would drive me up the wall. It sounds like he needs a butler not relationship. Imagine what he would be like if you lived together.

[FlowersAndShit]

Sounds like my stepdad who my mum has been with for 22 years, even down to the crisp down the sofa thing. He spilled some food on his joggers the other day and said " oh ffs, I only washed these last week"