Sick of new bloke expecting me to clear up afer him

[Nikye]

Not been together long, about 6 months. Anyway he tends to stay at my house on a weekend and sometimes a couple of nights during the week. When he first started staying over he used to leave his cups and plates on the living room floor, clothes on the toilet after he'd had a shower etc and even crisp packets etc on the sofa. Ive told him over and over again not to do this as I don't like having to clear up after other people. He stops it for a while and then starts it up again. Last weekend he went for a shower and left all his clothes on the toilet again (so obviously the next person to use the toilet has to sort his clothes out first). I was tired and not in the mood so I just swiped them all onto the (wet) floor, used the toilet and left them there. Didn't mention it. When he went in he went mad saying I'd left his clothes on a wet floor!!!! We had yet another conversation about it saying I was sick of picking up his stuff and he still maintained that I was out of order but promised he'd stop doing it. That very same night I found used bog roll (that he'd been blowing his nose with) on the beside table. I told him to move it which he did (whilst calling me master ) and the next day I found crisp packets stuffed down the side of the sofa so I crammed them all into his coat pocket. Anyway he's buggered off home now and hasn't really been in touch much apart from to say he feels like I was getting at him all weekend and hopes it wouldn't always be like that.

Be honest did I go too far??? How else can I get him to understand?

[oliviaclottedcream]

Busy hoovering probably

[LovelyFriend]

OP never came back!!

[magoria]

He doesn't respect your property that you pay for. He thinks he is entitled to treat it as a trash heap.

He thinks he and his time are more important than you and yours.

Deep down he thinks you are there to wait on him.

This will be very hard if not impossible to change.

Leave it for someone else to do so.

[ChicChantal]

Dump him now. He's clearly not going to change, and I wouldn't stay with a guy who acted as though I were his mother.

[thecatsarecrazy]

I have been married for 10 years to someone like that. Get rid before its to late

[fieldfare]

Dump him and move on in a relationship with a grown up.

[oliviaclottedcream]

crisp packets down the side of the couch? What is he 11 years old? Get rid of the slob.

[WhatALoadOfOldBollocks]

"Be honest did I go too far???"

Nope, nowhere near far enough. He's a slob who expects you to be his housekeeper even though you've explained how you hate it. Can't believe you've stayed with him as long as 6 months! I'm intrigued to know what his house is like...or does he still live with his mummy, who dutifully wades through the detritus in his bedroom once a week to collect all the plates and mugs (and crisp packets) he's left there.
Have you been to him place OP?

"He eats a lot of crisps, I'll give him that."
LOL!

[plainjanine]

So not only does he not care if he creates work for you, he doesn't respect your wishes or your space.

Worst of all, when you pull him up on it, he starts making it your fault he's had a bad weekend with the "I hope it's not always going to be like this." This is the thin end of a very long, fat wedge. If you accept it, he's going to carry on being an arse, and it's going to get worse. Much worse.

I'm not saying bin him (but I am thinking it). How likely is it that this man-child will change his behaviour?

Sorry, OP, I think I am saying bin him.

[timelytess]

I'm expecting it to be some kind of joke - like most MN threads nowadays.

[hellsbellsmelons]

I'm hoping it's a wind up because WTF would anyone put up with this kind of shit after 6 months?

[suzannecaravaggio]

(where is the OP? )

[LovelyFriend]

How else can I get him to understand?
any one with just half a brain would understand. He doesn't want to understand - he wants you to be his maid.

I bet you are going off him sexually about now too - nothing sexy about a manchild/sexist chap.

[OzzieFem]

You've been together 6 months? 6 months he wouldn't have lasted 6 days with me, and I'm not exactly houseproud!

[Krampus]

Say that you feel as if you've been picking up after him all weekend and dont want it to always be like that so you are ending the relationship.

[MissingPanda]

If he's this disrespectful at this stage of your relationship he won't get any better further down the line. Dump him and find someone who will respect you and your home.

[Pigeonpost]

Another vote for giving him the boot I'm afraid. He won't change, you won't get him to understand and it will just get worse.

[RaspberryOverload]

Another vote for dump, here.

[ProbablyMe]

Sounds like you're dating my 18 year old son! Seriously, a grown man shouldn't be behaving like this - he doesn't seem to have any respect so give him the elbow.

[Theladyloriana]

Speaking from experience, I have just spent 9 years picking up after someone. In hours that is a rough minimum of 3500 in that time. I can think of a lot better things I could have been doing!!

[NewChristian]

I would end it - he won't change. Crisp packets down the sofa?! The last time I did that I was about 5 and got a telling off for it then...

[Mamadothehump]

Does he want a partner or a 2nd Mother?? He sounds like he is more hassle than he's worth to be honest!!

[Jibberjabberjooo]

he feels like I was getting at him all weekend and hopes it wouldn't always be like that

In other words, shut up.

You reply should be, 'it won't be like that again, ever. I want a boyfriend, not a manchild who expects me to pick up after him'. Or words to that effect.

[ExplodingCarrots]

God op he sounds a right lazy slob. My 2 year old puts her rubbish in the bin. This weekend is an insight to what living with him would be like. Please don't do it!

[Aeroflotgirl]

Tell him never to come back.