Sick of new bloke expecting me to clear up afer him

[Nikye]

Not been together long, about 6 months. Anyway he tends to stay at my house on a weekend and sometimes a couple of nights during the week. When he first started staying over he used to leave his cups and plates on the living room floor, clothes on the toilet after he'd had a shower etc and even crisp packets etc on the sofa. Ive told him over and over again not to do this as I don't like having to clear up after other people. He stops it for a while and then starts it up again. Last weekend he went for a shower and left all his clothes on the toilet again (so obviously the next person to use the toilet has to sort his clothes out first). I was tired and not in the mood so I just swiped them all onto the (wet) floor, used the toilet and left them there. Didn't mention it. When he went in he went mad saying I'd left his clothes on a wet floor!!!! We had yet another conversation about it saying I was sick of picking up his stuff and he still maintained that I was out of order but promised he'd stop doing it. That very same night I found used bog roll (that he'd been blowing his nose with) on the beside table. I told him to move it which he did (whilst calling me master ) and the next day I found crisp packets stuffed down the side of the sofa so I crammed them all into his coat pocket. Anyway he's buggered off home now and hasn't really been in touch much apart from to say he feels like I was getting at him all weekend and hopes it wouldn't always be like that.

Be honest did I go too far??? How else can I get him to understand?

[tallwivglasses]

Once an entitled slob, always an entitled slob. He thinks it's your job because he has a willy and is therefore your superior. Not sexy imo.

[Branleuse]

if he needs it explaining to him, youre on a hiding to nothing

Hes a pisstaker

[MorrisZapp]

If this is what he's like as a visiting boyfriend after red hot sex, I dread to think what he'll be like as a cohabiting partner in dressing gown mode.

He's shown you who he is. For the love of god, believe him.

[Hadron21]

He won't change. Bin him.

[hellsbellsmelons]

He's shown you who he is. For the love of god, believe him
^^^ THIS - WITH BELLS ON!!!!

[WizzardHat]

Punt the bugger out. I'm not houseproud but I wouldn't be putting up with that crap. Do you think he stuffs rubbish down the sides of his own sofas, filthy beast!

[MagratsFlyawayHair]

I'd walk away. I'd this his him 6 months in, resumes my still on his best behaviour, can you imagine how much worse it could get?

[nina99ballons]

Bin! It won't improve. The not listening and getting irate are massive red flags.

[JapanNextYear]

Yeah, I'm really untidy and I couldn't be arsed with that. It's not going to go anywhere.

[Shakirasma]

Urgh! He's a slob, he doesn't respect you or your home and he isn't interested in changing. How unattractive.

Ditch him now and set your sights a little higher.

[Footle]

The first morning I woke up with a new man, I got up first. When I came back to the bedroom he was up and had made the bed.
That was 37 years ago and he still does the same. I'm not being smug, just pointing out that your current model is faulty.

[angielou123]

OMG. Exactly why I can't live with my man. You're best off out of it.

[SurlyValentine]

Does he shove empty crisp packets down the side of his own sofa, and leave his clothes on the toilet in his own bathroom? If not, and his own house is clean and tidy, then he's basically telling you he gives not one fuck about how you want your house to be kept, and he will do whatever the fuck he wants.

Deeply unattractive. Sorry OP, but I'd be binning him.

[MovingOnUpMovingOnOut]

Get rid. He has no respect for you or your home.

[BreconBeBuggered]

What everyone else said. It's the attitude as much as the slobbiness. If his crisp packets don't end up in the bin, he has to.

[ricketytickety]

Different expectations means not a solid foundation for an equal relationship. Not a right or a wrong thing, just you like it one way he likes it another. It will be the basis for lots of arguments if he can't see why this would annoy you in your own home. People don't tend to change either.

[lorelei9]

What's the point of him?

Curious to know what his house is like.

He expects the little woman to be his unpaid maid.

[NameChangeEr]

You can't get him to change. Just imagine how much worse it would be if you lived together, or have kids together.
Does he live alone? What is the state of his place? It's almost even worse if his place is tidy, he looks after himself but with you sees it as "women's work"

[DonkeysDontRideBicycles]

he feels like I was getting at him all weekend and hopes it won't always be like that
Ha, simple solution to that then! Do him a favour as he finds you so unreasonable.

You're wasting your breath on a partner who disrespects you and takes you for granted. The longer it drags on, you'll be too busy clearing up after him to have time and head space to meet someone who's going to appreciate you.

[NameChangeEr]

X-post with lorelai!

[Grapejuicerocks]

It's not the fact he is untidy, it's his response when he is pulled up on it. He sounds around 13 sorry if I'm doing a disservice to any 13 year olds

[Frazzled2207]

You've previously spoken about it and he hasn't stepped up. Time to get rid. Sorry.

[dinkystinky]

dump him

[lacktoastandtolerance]

YABU to be dating a twelve-year-old.

[stealtheatingtunnocks]

I'm sorry. I agree with them.

It's not what you like about him that matters, it's what you don't like - and, cn you put up with it. It'll never change. Never.