To just stop bothering to go to bed at all?

[Givinguph0pe]

Currently my nightly timetable:

Dd feeds and feeds until around midnight.
12.30am finally go to sleep
2.30am - 3am up expressing milk
3am - 3.30am - feed dd the expressed milk
3.30-5.30 attempt to sleep
5.30-6am express again
6am - 6.30am feed dd again
6.30 get up and get dressed and then get ds ready for school.

I'm slightly concerned I may actually go mad. I look horrific all the time and feel even worse. Dd is ten weeks old and this has been the pattern since she came home. I am exclusively expressing for her since I failed at feeding and all the help in the world couldn't seem to sort it out.
I'm so unbelievably tired. I'm tempted to no longer even bother going upstairs to bed. There seems very little point!

Get yourself a perfect prep machine and a tub of formula your night times will be transformed!

You've chosen not to use formula to date, and that's fantastic.

If you don't want to give your baby formula (and I wouldn't either) there has to be a way to make expressing or breastfeeding work better for you.

I think you need to see a professional lactation consultant. Where do you live?

Formula could open up a whole new world of problems for you - it's not an easy fix, it's manufactured to better suit baby humans but ultimately it's food for baby cows!

At 10 weeks your supply will be more regulated so it might not be so essential to pump so many times at night. I'd pump once for comfort and try to squeeze in another session through the day if you can xx

Sweetheart, your supply will drop if you stop night expressing but it will also drop if you are knackered and not getting any sleep.

Expressing and then bottle feeding the EBM is the toughest form of feeding as it takes up SO much time, and very few manage it for more than a few weeks - and you have another child as well and no help.

What you're doing is not sustainable, your body will give up one way or another. Please give yourself a break.

If you haven't seen a lactation consultant then it might be worth seeing one as one last try to get BF working. If you're already tried that, or it's. not possible then in your shoes I'd go straight to formula. And I'm very pro BF.

jbee1979 what an incredibly unhelpful post. It's very unlikely that formula will cause the OP's baby any problems at all and it's clear she's aware of the benefits of BF from how hard she has tried.

OP you're a superwoman.

I switched to formula after expressing for a week. It was killing me and you can't sustain it. My perfect prep machine has made night times almost bearable.

For me, dd sleeps during the day and is awake feeding all night. She cluster feeds until the small hours and refuses to settle. It's awful but I make myself go upstairs with her.

Is there anyone who can give you a few hours off? You need a break. Sending love.

jbee that's not helpful and I suggest you take your sanctimonious preaching elsewhere. I couldn't bf so daughter is on formula. I'm Ok with that.

You sound like a saint. I struggled to sustain this over 10 days, never mind weeks!

I agree with the formula suggestions. You've got to look after your mental health first.

i think you should either breastfeed and express in the daytime, and then formula at night. You cant go on expressing then feeding the expressed milk all night long like that. Youll go nuts, and that will be much worse than anything that could possibly happen by giving her a bit of formula. You need to protect your sleep. That isnt a luxury, its an essential.

jbee, formula does not cause some mysterious 'world of problems.

Honestly, the things people come out with to manipulate women into feeling inadequate or guilty that they have needs too.

There's a breastfeeding solution to every breastfeeding problem. Yet most of the responses on this thread are "just give formula". That's not exactly helpful to the OP if she does wish to continue giving breastmilk.

OP, can you contact La Leche in your area and get some support? What kind of a pump do you have? At 10 weeks, you may not need to pump in the middle of the night, you could do a longer session first thing in the morning. Also, are you waking your baby up at night? You don't need to if they are over 5kg (that's what I was told by my paediatrician).

I haven't read the full thread but really I think you have done well to keep breast feeding but I would switch to formula now. Your baby has had the really good early milk and both your children need a better-rested mum (note I'm not saying well-rested, that could be a while off!).
I agonised about starting formula to give me a bit of a break from very frequent feeds, tied myself in knots, had a little cry the first time I gave a bottle then didn't give it a second thought.
I hope things improve. Honestly, breast feeding is obviously good but a healthy mother (mentally and physically is more important).

You poor woman, you must be going completely bonkers with all this work.

Can you sit your DH down and ask him for help?

Maybe ask your HV or call La Leche League for advice?

You would not be a bad mum if you switched one of the bottles of EBM for formula.

You sound like an amazing mum and are doing a really fantastic job.

jbee1979 your post is santimonious and unhelpful. Give it a rest.

Oh hardehar at formula being for baby cows and causing a world of problems! jbee have you ever tasted formula? Because cow's milk it ain't.

Your attitude is the reason that OP is struggling - because she's been led to believe she is a 'better mother' if her baby (sorry I referred to her as a boy before OP - slip of the fingertips!) has breastmilk, at any and all cost to her family's lives.

You don't get a medal for breastfeeding you know. And FWIW, I currently have two boys off school will illness - one was exclusively BF, the other mix-fed till four months when I stopped - he was a prem twin so not easy.

Other than the occasional virus (which this is) they are both as healthy as each other.

OP, ultimately good luck in whatever you decide to do, but I really think you need to cut yourself some slack and put yourself first. Your baby won't mind and it will be better for everyone if you get some sleep!

This is the trouble with exclusive pumping. It's the worst of both worlds, because you have to do all the sterilising and pumping and then feed it to the baby, and in between that and the next feed all the sterilising and pumping again. Formula you have to sterilise but the rest is easy, breast you have to feed the baby and it can be difficult to establish but once it's up and running so convenient and no sterilising!

If you want your baby to have breastmilk it's the only way though.

The question is, do you want your baby to have breastmilk more than you want more sleep? Only you can answer that.

And you do have to keep pumping in the night particularly if its exclusively pumping as your supply can drop to the point you can't get it back unless you do that, once again the worst of both worlds. When I did it, I'd be pumping whilst my husband was feeding him the last pump yield then I'd have to go and sterlilise it all, so we were both awake when it could have been one or other. Dreadful!

There's a breastfeeding solution to every breastfeeding problem

Not mine there wasn't!
No boobs! Solve that one

I believe in breast feeding and I did breastfeed mine. I would not have done the expressing all night that you are doing, I don't believe exclusive breast feeding is worth that sacrifice, especially as you have another child and little help. I'd be switching to mixed feeding if I were you. This regime sounds utterly impossible.

There's a sanctimonious arse for every struggling mum.

Name just one problem that the op might encounter with formula feeding?

Switch to formula please for you own sanity. The pressure you are putting on yourself is being multiplied because you are so tired. In a few weeks time when you have and sleep and can look back with a clear head you will know you have made the right decision. Trust me I have been there

There is a breastfeeding solution to every breastfeeding problem!!! .
It's people like you coconutpie that made me guilty enough to carry on which in turn caused my postnatal depression. Some women don't have even produce milk would love to know what your "solution" is for them. Please enlighten us

Fucks sake.
Switch to formula.
In fact use the cartons.
Even easier!
:)
Seriously....you can't carry on like this. You need sleep to function. Your baby needs food.
Switch to formula.
It's not satanic or evil (contrary to what some on mn think!)
Good luck X

Even since my day (five years ago) they've invented better formula products, ie a larger bottle you can refrigerate for however many hours.

Also if you can get your baby to enjoy formula at room temperature you're laughing (maybe easier in summer) .

I had pnd too, and bf hell was a major factor.

I did pumping to increase supply with my first, and my second would only feed from one side so I expressed from the other. It is exhausting, but for me it was worth it. I got help from a specialised breastfeeding consultant - not a volunteer. The hospital gave me contact details. Both of mine had tongue tie which was affecting the latch, and a quick snip sorted it. The other thing that helped was removing as much other stress as possible - my older one went to nursery in the mornings so I had some rest, DH did a lot (housework standards were reduced I admit!) and we didn't cook much that was complicated. I found that 12 weeks was s turning point in feeling I could cope, even with lack of sleep.
Just giving an alternative to the 'just switch to formula' viewpoint. Obviously up to you based on what feels most important.

Dolly, there usually is a breastfeeding solution to a breastfeeding problem with the right support. Most women can breastfeed, a small % physically cannot. But support is required in order to get over any issues they may have. And again this just turns into a bun fight with people bashing any help a fellow breastfeeder gives. Formula is not the solution for everybody.

Does your newborn sleep after the morning feed? A trick that worked for me and my sisters children was expressing and swapping around the morning and evening milks. It seemed possible that the milk we expressed first thing put them to sleep in a way that the evening expressed milk didn't. Totally anecdotal, but it worked for 5 children between us and gave us a much longer stretch after that last night feed.

What are the world of problems formula can cause please?

OP, have you sought help from a breastfeeding professional or just from a midwife? You really need specialised support, which many midwives don't really have. Expressing really is the hardest job going, you have all the sterilising etc to do and pumping which is so time consuming. Perhaps you might be able to see if you can get back to breastfeeding if you get an appointment with a lactation consultant or even just to discuss the timetable you have of expressing (as said in an earlier post, you may not need to express in middle of night at this stage).