To just stop bothering to go to bed at all?

[Givinguph0pe]

Currently my nightly timetable:

Dd feeds and feeds until around midnight.
12.30am finally go to sleep
2.30am - 3am up expressing milk
3am - 3.30am - feed dd the expressed milk
3.30-5.30 attempt to sleep
5.30-6am express again
6am - 6.30am feed dd again
6.30 get up and get dressed and then get ds ready for school.

I'm slightly concerned I may actually go mad. I look horrific all the time and feel even worse. Dd is ten weeks old and this has been the pattern since she came home. I am exclusively expressing for her since I failed at feeding and all the help in the world couldn't seem to sort it out.
I'm so unbelievably tired. I'm tempted to no longer even bother going upstairs to bed. There seems very little point!

Sorry, just seen that you've been doing it for ten weeks, not six. Even more amazing! My midwife also contacted the breast feeding network on my behalf and they sent somebody out to my home a few times. That was incredibly helpful. They helped me with pumping and with switching over to breast feeding. I'm not sure that they have people to come out to you in every area, but that's also worth looking into. They could help you try to get your onto the breast.

Your Dd is already taking a bottle - switch to formula. I think you've done an amazing job to keep this up for 10 weeks. I speak as an enthusiastic breast feeder, but I did it because it was easier all round - I never expressed a drop, couldn't be bothered (and neither of my DCs would take a bottle as a result) You deserve a medal. Give yourself a huge pat on the back and then give yourself a break.

Bottle feed!! Honestly! There are worse things and a healthy, happy mummy is what's most important. Hope you're ok

Op, are you waking your dd up to feed through the night? It seems like a very strict timetable thats why I'm asking.

OP I did what you are doing with a toddler for 6 months and its not an exaggeration to say it made me suicidal. dont do it to yourself. even one feed of formula that your husband can give when hes around will be a life saver. after 10 weeks dropping one night pump wont matter. i promise you!

That was supposed to say get your baby onto the breast. I was told of the importance of also expressing during the night to help keep my supply up, but as baby got older they said it wasn't so important because your supply has become more established. So the eight feeds every twenty four hours didn't need to be at exactly three hour intervals. I could squeeze them closer together during the day and spread them out during the night, to get more sleep.

I agree that, when your husband is home, he needs to be helping. Why isn't he doing that?

Can I ask why you are expressing instead of just feeding her "straight from the source"? You'll go mad if you continue, sleep deprivation is torture.

Thing is they do say to keep supply up you should pump in the night as that's when the hormone that makes the milk is active. (I just wrote previously saying I wake at 4 to pump) it does make a big difference but will be dropping night feed when LO gets to 12 weeks or just starts sleeping through, whichever is first.

Oh bless you. I've been in your shoes. I expressed exclusively for 4 months with ds and 3 with DD. I can honestly say I have never felt so exhausted in my whole life.

Non one can tell you to start mixed feeding. But I can tell you that this is what I did. I dropped the early morning expressing (the 3-4am one!) because o just needed to sleep. It was fine. My milk supply was still ok probably because I was getting some sleep. DH would do a night feed too.

I would have a sterilised bottle ready with a carton of ready made formula so no faffing in the night. It changed my life.

Good luck

OP, why have you not responded to the many posters who have said change to formula as your health is more important to both of your children than your baby being fed breast milk?

Midwives and BF cousellors recommend night feeding/expressing because its the night feeds that calibrate your prolactin hormone levels and therefore your milk supply over the next 24hrs.

You are not failing OP you are being amazing!

And first things first tell your husband he has to fucking help you that or when your body has finally had enough and you collapse from exhaustion and are taken into hospital he'll have to do it all,the school runs,the housework,shopping everything whilst looking after 2 DC!

Like everyone else has said OP I'd honestly start giving some formula to your baby as well.With making it up and warming it up,I'd stick the bottles and formula and a flask filled with boiled water that's been cooled into a bedside table,bag or box next to your bed so that your not having to go into the kitchen multiple times in the middle of the night.

When your husband is away with work is there anyone close family or close friend that would be able to stay a night now and again?Someone that you'd feel comfortable with them getting up in the night with the baby so that you can get an undisturbed nights sleep now and again?

My Mum did it for me once with my first,DS19 was the same when he was tiny constantly awake and constantly feeding(I was breastfeeding as well)I was getting really ill because of the lack of sleep.It did help.
I've done it in the past for my siblings with my nephews and nieces.

Allpizza because she has a 10 week old baby? Is actually asleep? Is feeding/expressing? Getting older DCto school? Is emotionally processing what has been written? God this is not here for your entertainment!

For goodness sake girl.

How many more of these threads must you do?

I mean this in the nicest way possible now but stop being a matyr, give your baby formula, make your dh help and get some bloody sleep!

You are no good to your Dd whilst you are this exhausted.

It is formula not poison

I'm sorry to be so harsh but it's awful seeing you post this stuff week after week when you could have done something about it by now

I exclusively expressed with DC1 when he couldn't latch. As a pp said, it really is the worst of both worlds.
It almost sent me over the edge, even though he was my pfb, so I could sleep when he slept etc.

When I had the same latch issues with DD (tongue tie, huge weight loss, absolutely wouldn't feed from "the source") I didn't have the supply to express, and it was a massive relief in many ways.

She's now ff, happy and thriving - and I'm happy and thriving too. I spent DS's early days in a stressed-out fug. This time round I'm sleeping three hours in a row most nights, there's no faff of expressing, o have way more time on my hands, and I can enjoy her.

Honestly, I've been there and it's shit. As even the most ardent and obsessive breastfeeder,I really would encourage you to make a last attempt to get your DC back on the boob and, if it doesn't work, switch to ff.
Your DD has had weeks of breastmilk and you've done brilliantly to get this far, but what you're doing is unsustainable, especially with older DC around. Formula is great stuff - it may not be the "best" option nutritionally, but I would say it is the best option in your situation right now.

Good luck

Firstly, you're doing brilliantly to manage all this when you're largely parenting alone from the sound of it.

Secondly, you don't have to listen wholesale to what the midwife says - it's a guide and you know what's best for you and your family.

Thirdly, I exclusively breast fed many years ago and I wish I hadn't bothered now as it was so horrendous managing without sleep and not being able to enjoy my DS1 because I was so tired. DS2 was easier because I did it my way much more. Formula is fine and if you can manage to express some breast milk as well that's a bonus.

Get as much help as you can - sit DH down when you're feeling calm (not in middle of the night when you're feeling shredded!) and explain he needs to be involved with his children's care.

Really good luck and be proud of all you're doing.

I bf my first child. I had all sorts of problems with my second, even getting a breast feeding counsellor in. In the end she said, "you've tried your best, now go to formula. Don't feel guilty"

Your baby has breast milk but she also has a tired, stressed out mum. Wouldn't it be equally beneficial to have a more relaxed mum but be formula fed? You can't continue as you have. Let go of the guilt.

She doesn't have to switch to formula if she doesn't want to. Blimey that's as bad as insisting she must keep expressing or breastfeeding.

It is true, unfortunately, that expressing through the night is essential for keeping up supply in the early days but it might not be that it needs to be every 3 hours, especially after 10 weeks. Since it sounds like you are set on the breastmilk route this is what I can share.

This is a great website with lots of helpful articles and information:
kellymom.com/mother2mother/exclusive-pumping/

It also might be worth trying to get baby onto the breast now she is older and her mouth is bigger. Have you had her checked for tongue tie? By somebody who actually knows how to check for it? Do you know what the signs are? Have you been able to try latching with nipple shields at all?

Mixed feeding when done in a controlled way doesn't have to negatively affect supply, as others have said. You should be able to stretch out those night time pumping sessions now or soon.

Your baby needs you to be happy and healthy a million times more than she needs breastmilk . for you

If she doesn't want to switch to formula that's fair enough and her choice.

My DD is 8 weeks and I've been expressing too. I would say by this point you only need to express once overnight and make sure you have a decent electric double pump. I spend 20 minutes expressing during the night which is totally manageable.

My DD was early and tiny, spent some time in NICU, tube then bottle fed. However she's a bit bigger and stronger now and has just started to latch on. I'm hoping to make the switch to breast. Is this definitely not an option for you?

Formula.

Your baby is part of a family, so are you. Giving formula will make your life so much easier and the only impact on your baby is that he will sleep better.

Don't martyr yourself for breast milk. No child ever grew up upset that they weren't exclusively breastfed!

Your exact time table is why I went insane, and moved onto formula (I'm not saying you should, it's just what I did) And I'm so glad I did because it's the only decent sleep I've had (and my daughter had). Now at 1 year old she barely sleeps and I work full time! so I'm glad I didn't carry on and wait until she settled... which she never did.

I actually didn't sleep I stayed up all night and had a couple of hours kip when oh got home from work... worst times ever.

Something similar hpened to me in that I could only feed from one side when alone. I had an arm injury which meant I couldn't position properly for the other side. So I was expressing from one side. It was awful and I I got so exhausted I would vomit when I got up to express just with tiredness.

Eventually my Dad gave me a good talking to and at 3 months my ds went onto formula. I was very upset about it for a short while but he thrived and is now a lively 7 year old who is hardly ever poorly and has never had antibiotics in his life

for you. Your DS has had weeks of amazing breast milk so she's had the best possible start. She will be fine on formula xxxx

Dd sorry xx

Honestly OP 10 weeks of that is incredible. Please for your sake switch to formula, it doesn't mean you've failed and your DD will be absolutely fine. Make DH take one of the night feeds too you need a decent stretch of sleep.