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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend overdosed. Wtf to do?

227 replies

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 29/02/2016 19:31

My friend/neighbour has not been answering her phone all day and I just went to check on her. She's had a bit of a shit time of it lately so I was worried.

Found her in bed (I've got a key). She's taken 15 tramadol last night. She was trying to end it. She is conscious and pissed off that she's still here. Her head is hurting and she's feeling sick. I said she needs to go to hospital but she got really angry and said she will never forgive me if I call an ambulance. She said if she still feels bad tomorrow she'll go then.

I guess if she was going to die that would have happened by now but I'm worried she could have caused herself some serious damage. I've taken all the pills I can find in the house away from her and said I'll be back to check on her once dd2 is in bed. I really think she needs to get checked over but she is not at all happy with that suggestion. What should I do?

OP posts:
Devilishpyjamas · 01/03/2016 07:46

At least the GP will find out the paramedics came (I think, we've had 4 out after the last 2 months & I'm sure my GP's were informed?) so can follow up if he/she feels it's necessary.

NerrSnerr · 01/03/2016 07:58

Phoning 111 was the right thing to do. It's not as simple as overdose = ambulance.

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 01/03/2016 08:01

I ended up phoning the crisis team at midnight after I got home, and it was them who insisted I call an ambulance, so I did.

OP posts:
Fourormore · 01/03/2016 08:03

I hope she gets the help she needs.
For me it's not the overdose or the potential damage done by the medicine but the fact that she was pissed off to still be alive, that it was a genuine failed attempt. That makes me think she will try again which means she is at serious risk of harm from herself.

goddessofsmallthings · 01/03/2016 08:04

The clue is in the amount of Tramadol the OP's friend took, Goingtobe, coupled with the fact that she was conscious when the OP found her some 24 hours after she had ingested the pills.

gamerchick · 01/03/2016 08:06

*Yesterday 23:40 livednlearned

gamerchick -whether she could be admitted under the mental health act is not related to the number of tablets she has taken but to her state of mind and degree of risk to herself.

The fact that she wanted to be dead, told no-one and is sorry to find herself alive is concerning*

Of course to concerning but and? You think that gets a section?

MH services are in crisis and a&es are really struggling when it comes to 'cries for help'.. The resource just isn't there, get used to it. We have a Tory government!

Fourormore · 01/03/2016 08:08

You think that gets a section?

It should certainly warrant a talk with the on call CPN.

gamerchick · 01/03/2016 08:10

I agree it SHOULD. Should doesn't get though does it?

Fourormore · 01/03/2016 08:13

Right but this wasn't a "cry for help". She wanted and still wants to be dead. That's not a cry for help. Also I disagree with the implication that if should doesn't get then we should just shut up and accept that.

shovetheholly · 01/03/2016 08:14

God, I just feel so depressed about this. Nothing to do with you, OP. It's just that in Britain there are 64 million people. Your friend won't have been the only woman trying to end it last night. What if someone else reached out for crisis support and got a similarly inadequate answer from an overstretched medical system? (Sure, she hasn't died, but maybe she still wants to, and feels even more abandoned and without help). Somewhere, there will be a similar woman, who doesn't have such a good friend to check up on her, going through hell with no-one to sit with her and hold her hand and help her through. It makes my heart break.

gamerchick · 01/03/2016 08:18

You propose what then? What can make the government inject more cash and resource into MH services? Being a risk to own life and not wanting to engage means that yes, suck it up because you won't be forced to accept any.

Do people really have their heads in the sand that ringing an ambulance or 999 for someone taking a few pills who doesn't want any help will magically open up a glorious world of help?

shovetheholly · 01/03/2016 08:23

I don't think anyone believes that MH services are adequate gamerchick.

It's more that threads like this reveal the extent of the crisis, and the way that people are being let down by an overstretched NHS.

The only solution is to get rid of this stinking government, and to keep pressure up on any new administration to invest. There's a lot of talk about parity between mental and physical health services, but with this current lot in charge, that seems to mean allowing physical health to sink to the abysmal level of mental health services, as a preliminary to an argument that says the system isn't working and it's necessary to sell everything off. And once it's gone, trade deals with make it very difficult to renationalise.

gamerchick · 01/03/2016 08:38

I know, everyone 'knows' that things are bad but just not how and even now.. There are some on this thread who wanted the whole blue lighted to hospital thing going on who aren't directly involved with MH services or it doesn't affect them will shrug, think it's shocking and go about their lives.

i feel actual fear at where everything is heading.

MartinaJ · 01/03/2016 08:51

Your friend is in a vicious cycle of up and down moods. One day she'll manage to finish what she has started, willingly or accidentally. She needs professional help and she needs it ASAP.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 01/03/2016 08:56

I think it's worth bearing in mind that not everything is what it seems on MN. It's a classic move to seek help for a 'friend' when the person needing help is actually you. Due to embarrassment, low self worth or shame.

If you look at the facts, this poster knew exactly what her friend had taken and when, she was in no doubt of the reasons why she did it and how she felt afterwards. It is more likely that you would hesitate in seeking medical help for herself than a friend.

I may be completely off here but it's worth considering although the advice from posters would still be helpful to this poor lady, whatever her situation.

BlimeyCrikey · 01/03/2016 08:56

I hope your friend is okay, well done for looking after her.

livednlearned · 01/03/2016 09:07

gamerchick I didn't say that a section was warranted-just that it wasn't the number of tablets taken that would determine that but the whole picture.

Given the current state of mental health services and the level of investment in them I am aware of people suffering from psychosis having difficulty being admitted because of the lack of beds available.

OP-your friend is fortunate to have your support-encourage her to find other support too so that the weight of responsibility is shared.

MsJamieFraser · 01/03/2016 09:14

Sometimes I think with some of these threads that I am on some kind of parallel universe, I means what's trying to spare someone's feelings over someone live literally at risk. Hmm

goddessofsmallthings · 01/03/2016 09:15

The realist cynic in me says that the response you received to your call to the MH crisis team is a typical example of back covering in that it can't be said they didn't urge you to take action, fluffy, and the responsibility for your friend's mental and physical health was deftly passed to an ambulance crew who triaged your friend as non-conveyance.

The fact that she wanted to be dead, told no-one and is sorry to find herself alive is concerning It seems to me that what is more concerning is that she's done it before, gamerchick, and it's to be hoped that last night's experience may cause her to pause for thought before she swallows another load of pills next time her divorce proceedings look to be going pear-shaped again.

As for what she said, the words could equally have been used by someone who was seeking to cover her embarrassment at being found by a friend after sleeping the day away due to taking sufficient Tramadol to get high the previous night, and more especially as it didn't take long before she was laughing and joking again.

The net result is that the OP has found herself in an unenviable position and my sympathy lies entirely with her.

MsJamieFraser · 01/03/2016 09:16

mean life

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 01/03/2016 09:30

I actually LOLd at that ilostit. It definitely wasn't me who boshed a load of pills. What I said happened is what happened.

OP posts:
ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 01/03/2016 09:35

Ok sorry fluffyclouds It just struck me that you might be the one in danger because you were hesitant to get help.
I apologise and hope you are able to cope with the shock of last night's events.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 01/03/2016 09:41

And I'm glad I made you smile this morning Smile

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 01/03/2016 09:41

That's ok. I know exactly what is going on with her because we are very close friends. And I know how many pills she took because I counted what was missing from the pack. She said 15, it actually turned out to be 13.

OP posts:
stitch10yearson · 01/03/2016 09:41

Interesting thread. When I read it last night, I was pleasantly confused by the people suggesting she be blue lighted to A&E. A taxi to the place would have been fine, the friend was awake and with it enough to be pissed off her actions hadnt worked. She needs mental healthcare, unlikely to be available through the emergency services at midnight.

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