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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend overdosed. Wtf to do?

227 replies

Littlefluffyclouds81 · 29/02/2016 19:31

My friend/neighbour has not been answering her phone all day and I just went to check on her. She's had a bit of a shit time of it lately so I was worried.

Found her in bed (I've got a key). She's taken 15 tramadol last night. She was trying to end it. She is conscious and pissed off that she's still here. Her head is hurting and she's feeling sick. I said she needs to go to hospital but she got really angry and said she will never forgive me if I call an ambulance. She said if she still feels bad tomorrow she'll go then.

I guess if she was going to die that would have happened by now but I'm worried she could have caused herself some serious damage. I've taken all the pills I can find in the house away from her and said I'll be back to check on her once dd2 is in bed. I really think she needs to get checked over but she is not at all happy with that suggestion. What should I do?

OP posts:
Kittykatmacbill · 29/02/2016 19:44

Call an ambulance. You don't have the right to make that decision and would you ever forgive yourself if something happened?

edwinbear · 29/02/2016 19:44

She needs an ambulance but a possible alternative would be to call the Samaritans and ask for their advice? They deal with these situations all day long - albeit they will probably call an ambulance themselves.

HermioneJeanGranger · 29/02/2016 19:44

Call an ambulance. Could you forgive yourself if she died or was made permanently unwell because you didn't ring?

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 29/02/2016 19:44

Call an ambulance! She is suicidal and needs help one way or another. Even if she never forgives you that is better than her dying!

passmethewineplease · 29/02/2016 19:44

I've taken them and even two make me go all woozy and sleepy.

She needs to get checked out, I know you're worried about what she said but I'd take it with a pinch of salt. She obviously isn't in a good place and needs help.

WeveGotAHomelessLove · 29/02/2016 19:45

She might not forgive you if you call an ambulance bit you'll never forgive yourself if she dies..... Whats the better option?

nephrofox · 29/02/2016 19:46

You have to call an ambulance, no other option

WeveGotAHomelessLove · 29/02/2016 19:48

I cant believe your first thought was to post on here
Did you update your FB status too?

Palomb · 29/02/2016 19:48

Put it this way - if you don't call the ambulance and you know she's trying to kill herself but ignored it then I hues technically you're an accessory.

PennyPebbles · 29/02/2016 19:48

Call an ambulance.

I've been there, just call an ambulance.

At least she'll know you give a shit about her. Believe me, that can make all the difference to not trying again.

passmethewineplease · 29/02/2016 19:49

Leave it out weve. OP is probably already stressed enough without that crap.

steff13 · 29/02/2016 19:49

She is suicidal and needs help one way or another.

This^^ Even if she is physically ok, certainly she needs some sort of mental health intervention. Call an ambulance.

Lookingforward2016 · 29/02/2016 19:51

I think you really should call ambulance and talk to someone at any mental health facility around you. I am not too sure about the later but emergency services must know about it anyway. Don't waste time. Liver failure is probably a certain thing that has happened to her already. Between her friendship and her liver, I will always choose her liver. Good luck

Original poster
Littlefluffyclouds81 · 29/02/2016 19:52

Ok. I'm going to get dd2 in bed now and go back over. I am going to tell her I'm calling an ambulance, I'd rather do that than do it behind my back.

If the roles were reversed I'd want her to call the fucking ambulance.

My MH is not brilliant to say the least so not feeling equipped to deal with this. I depend on this friend a lot, emotionally. I don't want to lose her but I'm damned if I do, dammed if I don't here.

OP posts:
Littlefluffyclouds81 · 29/02/2016 19:53

This reply has been deleted

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NameAgeLocation · 29/02/2016 19:53

We're here for you OP. Again, I'm sorry you're in this position. But you do need to make the call.

Pommes · 29/02/2016 19:54

Absolutely call an ambulance. She needs some professional help. I always think worst-case scenario. Can you imagine yourself explaining to a coroner at an inquest next year why professionals weren't involved after her last suicide attempt?

Get some help. She desperately needs it. You sound like a wonderful friend.

WeveGotAHomelessLove · 29/02/2016 19:55

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Zariyah · 29/02/2016 19:57

You have to call an ambulance right now.

PennyPebbles · 29/02/2016 19:58

I once told someone I was planning to commit suicide. They called the police. It was fucking awful, but when I recovered a little bit I could see that the person had cared enough to do something and I accepted that it had come from a really good place.

Years later I did actually take an overdose. Like your friend I woke up alive and was pissed off. Boss found out and all I got was a telling off because they thought I may have been unproductive at work that day. This just contributed to my feelings of worthlessness - they knew I'd taken an overdose but didn't even ask how I was or if I needed medical attention.

Better to show how much you care than risk the person thinking that their beliefs are correct, that the world is better off without them and no-one gives a shit.

pippitysqueakity · 29/02/2016 20:00

Been there, call ambulance, the state of mind she is in is not rational, you can be. She is ill one way or another and needs help. Hope you are ok OP, shitty position to be in. Suicide attempts not always only a cry for help, killing yourself can actually be remarkably hard.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 29/02/2016 20:00

Flowers. Penny. I hope things are much brighter for you now. Your boss seems like a right grade A arse hole.

Northernlurker · 29/02/2016 20:00

I'm surprised somebody would post about this sort of dilemma tbh. With what you say about your own MH OP I wonder if there is maybe a bit more to this than meets the eye? Iyswim?

Anyway - anybody who feels they want to end their life needs help and help is there. Pick up the phone and get that help.

Goingtobeawesome · 29/02/2016 20:01

You don't know what to do. EVERYONE has said call the ambulance. Why aren't you listening?

If she dies and it comes out that you could have called you could be in a lot of trouble.

Just call. Anonymously if you really can't put her first.

VoldysGoneMouldy · 29/02/2016 20:01

You don't have to go back if you're not feeling mentally okay to do so. Call an ambulance, tell them what has happened, tell them you believe there is a chance she will do some more harm to herself (which is likely if she has now said she wants to be left alone), and that you will let them in when they get there. You can also just leave the door on the mat for them to go in, and ask them to call you with an update later (they are allowed to - speaking from experience here).

15 if she had a whole box does sound more like a cry for help - but if she's asking for help without saying the words, then do what you can, regardless of what she has said.