Friend overdosed. Wtf to do?

[Littlefluffyclouds81]

My friend/neighbour has not been answering her phone all day and I just went to check on her. She's had a bit of a shit time of it lately so I was worried.

Found her in bed (I've got a key). She's taken 15 tramadol last night. She was trying to end it. She is conscious and pissed off that she's still here. Her head is hurting and she's feeling sick. I said she needs to go to hospital but she got really angry and said she will never forgive me if I call an ambulance. She said if she still feels bad tomorrow she'll go then.

I guess if she was going to die that would have happened by now but I'm worried she could have caused herself some serious damage. I've taken all the pills I can find in the house away from her and said I'll be back to check on her once dd2 is in bed. I really think she needs to get checked over but she is not at all happy with that suggestion. What should I do?

[Littlefluffyclouds81]

Thanks everyone - this weekend was quite horrific as my ndn wasn't old (although he was unhealthy in lots of ways), and seeing his dd arrive and being told the news by the paramedic was just awful. Luckily my bf was here, and my dc weren't. It has really affected my friend as it was a glimpse into what the reality would have been if she hadn't woken up. I think maybe it has been a wake up call for her, tragic though it is. The neighbour was a good bloke, it's so weird to think that he was dying a few metres away as me and my bf were having a siesta.

[ridemesideways]

No one who attempts suicide wants to die.

No. I went to a Samaritans open day and was told that many people ring up as they don't want to be alone when they die. The call handler must respect their wishes and offer person-centred care. They may not alert 999 or any other help, as it is not illegal to commit suicide. It's terrible, but sometimes people just really, truly, 100% don't want to be here any more. Sad, devastating, awful... But their decision.

[madwomanbackintheattic]

Bless you fluffy. Look after yourself. My friend took an overdose on 22nd (half a big tub of paracetamol, travel sickness tablets, Smirnoff) and is still in hospital on suicide watch while they try to find her a MH placement. Her daughter called me because she couldn't get her to wake up properly. I knew immediately what she had done (not the first time). The paramedics were brilliant.
I left it a couple of days and took a day off work as well. I think you just need to be kind to yourself once the adrenalin subsides (()). Hope next week is calmer xx

[winewolfhowls]

You're a good friend littlefluffy. Look after yourself too.

[kali110]

So so sorry to hear that op

[stealtheatingtunnocks]

Jeezo, I'm so sorry. That's just awful about your neighbour, hope it was peaceful.

Glad you've been making time to look after yourself - book some more in!

You are a lovely friend. Sorry about your neighbour.

[Littlefluffyclouds81]

Thanks stealth, sorry I've only just seen this. It's been a tough week, I spent all day Tuesday sorting my friend out then on Wednesday I woke up and had a cry, I think it all caught up with me. I ended up bunking off uni and going to the cinema with my friend to see Grimsby, we both definitely needed a laugh.

Things have been a bit more settled since then, until today when my next door neighbour (who lives between me and the friend who tried to kill herself) died in his house this afternoon. It's been an eventful week on this street that's for sure, feeling quite sad about it all.

[IcingandSlicing]

Sorry to hear about your friend.
I would call the ambulance. Your friend needs more psychological help and support too. Maybe there are services that can counsel her?

[stealtheatingtunnocks]

Just thinking of you and your friend. Hope things are more settled.

[kali110]

Goingtobeawesome no because the amount taken is usually not enough to cause damage nor kill. She would have felt the effects within a few hours anyway.
You have to take a lot more to do damage on this drug.

I'm more saddeded that she wasn't taken in for trying to
Kill herself.
You're being such a good friend op but don't forget yourself.
Hopefully she will have some more support in place now. Really hope your friend gets through this.
Mental health illnesses are horrible

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

Well done. Sometimes having all the practical things taken care of can make a huge difference. You seem like a lovely caring friend. I hope you have done something nice for yourself tonight.

[hellsbellsmelons]

Well done for being there for her OP.
I hope the crisis team can help her.

[Littlefluffyclouds81]

I'm ok, just been doing some housework. Got to pick the kids up soon.

[MummySparkle]

I'm glad the crisis team are involved. you've been doing the right thing OP, will you have someone with you today? Remember you need some support too

[Littlefluffyclouds81]

Just wanted to say thanks for all your support. I really appreciate it. I took my friend to the gp, she has been signed off work for 2 weeks. She is going to be contacted by the crisis team today, and she's having a blood test on Monday. I made her a sandwich and she ate some of it which is great because she hasn't eaten a thing since Sunday. She looks terrible and is really shaky. She keeps apologising to me and saying she feels really ashamed :(

I've got her dog and I phoned her husband to arrange him picking him up later, as she can't cope with him at the moment. I've messaged her boss to let her know she's been signed off. She is sleeping now.

[stealtheatingtunnocks]

Zeezeek - I'm sorry about your fiance. That must have been awful for you.

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

I'm sorry, I find it hard to convey my message on these forums without writing an essay. I 100% agree that the OP should put her well being first and not take on more than she can. I just wanted to voice what has helped me as an alternative to when people don't engage with help from services or when services are woefully inadequate and at times uncaring and harmful. I would be encouraging the friend to go the GP and find out what support there is available absolutely. I just wanted the OP to know that she made a huge difference just by being there last night and that if she wants to there are ways to actively support people who are distressed. If cuts continue to be made and the pressures in our society continue to increase, I believe its our responsibility as a community to support one another. Everyone experiences hard times and its through our connections with others that we cope and get by.

[almondpoisson]

I just think this is too much for OP to take on you sound like a wonderful friend OP. I do work with suicidal people. I know there's a huge shortage of care but you did the right thing seeking medical help (for her overdose) - she also needs medical help for her mental health, but this is harder to access.

I hope the GP visit goes well. If she doesn't have a community psychiatric nurse or organised care, she needs one. She needs to have a crisis plan. I'd really recommend Mind, Papyrus are excellent and have a helpline, and Samaritans 24/7 free of charge from any phone. All the best.

[stealtheatingtunnocks]

I had a similar agreement with my friend when she was suicidal, How.

If she was planning to do something or had thoughts of going to do something harmful to herself she agreed to phone me first and let me know where she was.

She did, too.

Sadly, very sadly, she took her life whilst an in-patient. But, from a selfish POV, knowing that I did what I could has been a comfort. I miss her.

Glad you are feeling better.

And, OP, hope your friend engages with her GP. I had no children when my friend was unwell, and so could drop everything for her. In retrospect, she needed professional care, our arrangement worked for a short time, but, long term I could not have been responsible for her mental well being. I hope you are making space to look after yourself too x

[kateandme]

@howcanikeepdoingthis
Beautifully put about the "help" I think people are very unaware of what that involves.I've sufficed the very help itself.getting out away from that has been tougher than some of my illness!its changed,battered me fr the worst.

[howcanikeepdoingthis]

OP I am very sorry you had such a tough time last night. You seem a very caring person and I'm sure your friend will look back and be very grateful that she didn't feel alone last night. Ongoing mental distress can make you feel so isolated and she was lucky to have you by her side.

I think, as highlighted already, that posting on an open forum often gets well meaning but ill informed advice. The truth is, however disappointing, that once medically stable AnE is the last place someone in a crisis will receive meaningful support.

I suggest, from my own lived experience, that if your friend is unwilling to access any support today or on the immediate future that as a minimum you and her have a plan for how any future situations could be dealt with. I don't know how close you are but it seems like she is very important to you. Could you help her by getting some phone numbers that she could call when feeling so acutely distressed, be that professionals like the Samaritans or a friend. There are some good resources out there for putting together a kit almost to help people when feeling desperate. For me its a cd with some of my favourite songs, some of my favourite food, a book I have read and re read, basically things to help me be kind to myself. I have used valium as an escape before in a similar way and trying to find a safer alternative has been really important.

If she does get to the point where she acts in to her distress can you come up with an agreement on how you will respond. So for example, last night she would know that you would have to have taken her to get medically checked out. You may worry that she would no longer confide in you but in my experience it is good to have it clearly set out how I want someone to respond.

I wonder if people may read this and think I am minimising the severity of the situation. I have survived numerous and serious suicide attempts but I see psychiatry and mental health service as something else I have survived through. People mistakenly think asking for help will open a gateway to recovery. Sadly services are overstretched, medicalised and inadequate. I hope your friend can reach out and access the support she needs but if not don't underestimate what else can be done. For me, some good friends in my life are as important as anything else in my recovery.

[almondpoisson]

A cry for help and other dismissive responses are why we have such piss poor care for suicidal people. My 'alarmist' responses were on the basis that she was found unconscious and nobody knew exactly what she had taken. She was breathing and awake but drowsy. Sorry, an overdose on a complex background of other medication use and alcohol is a serious medical emergency. I think OP did very well in trying to get help - earlier in the thread it was suggested driving to A&E or getting a taxi. 111 also said best to go to hospital. For those suggesting it's a drama out of nothing, how much would it take for her friend to be taken seriously? how 'serious' an attempt? It's this kind of dangerous thinking that's really a terrible problem.
If you can get friend to call Samaritans please do, OP - freephone 116 123

[zeezeek]

Roughly 30 years ago my fiance had a similar history of taking a few too many pills in the run up to his A-levels. His family and friends brushed it off as him being a typical moody teenager. They didn't bother to even call for help when they found him semi-conscious several times (I was in the final year of boarding school in another part of the country and didn't even know this was happening at the time).

He killed himself by standing in front of a train the day before his first exam.

[Littlefluffyclouds81]

She definitely wanted to die. I asked her this morning if there's any part of her that's glad it didn't work and she said no. That's what worries me. Taking her to the gp soon.

[PurpleDaisies]

I agree cheesetoastie. When my friend jumped in front of a train it certainly wasn't a cry for help. To say that no one who attempts suicide wants to die is ridiculous.