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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that a 5yo shouldnt be left all alone, even for a couple of mins?!

70 replies

upsidedownfrown · 29/02/2016 15:40

Hiya, been years since I've been on here but hey ho, I'm back. Anyway, I won't go into loads of detail as I like anonymity and too many details could blow my cover!

In a nutshell, last week a 5yo and 3yo were left sitting on the doorstep of their locked house completely unsupervised for about 5 mins while mum went to get her car parked a couple of streets away.

I watched them from my house when I realised they were there as I saw mum leave and come back a few mins later with her car.

Not a busy road but a very easy street to get off of really quickly with alleyways and walk throughs to neighbouring streets.

It's been bothering me for days. I guess its made me feel uneasy. Obviously it's not my place to say anything but it's been playing on my mind for some reason.

OP posts:
chumbler · 29/02/2016 15:42

5yo fine if sensible, not 3yo - never ever

MissBattleaxe · 29/02/2016 15:42

No, it's not OK. Why on earth didn't she take them with her?

Original poster
upsidedownfrown · 29/02/2016 15:51

No idea why she didn't take them with her! It was 2 streets away. I saw her car that afternoon so know exactly where it was parked. Not like it was too far to walk the kids there. I'm having to bite my tongue when I see her cos I really really just want to tell her not to do it again!

OP posts:
KellyElly · 29/02/2016 16:41

A five year old at a push, although mine would have insisted on coming with me at that age. Leaving a five year old in charge of a three year old unsupervised is never ok though, even for a few minutes.

EatShitDerek · 29/02/2016 16:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BillSykesDog · 29/02/2016 16:45

They can be left for a few minutes but not in the street.

LittleLionMansMummy · 29/02/2016 16:48

I've gone to the end of my small cul de sac to move my car, leaving ds inside the house watching tv. No I wouldn't leave him sitting on the doorstep while I was two streets away.

WorraLiberty · 29/02/2016 16:48

Meh, I used to sit on the doorstep for hours when I was 5 because I liked to watch the world go by and chat to passing neighbours.

3 is far too young though imo. That's why your thread title is confusing Grin

Drinkstoomuchcoffee · 29/02/2016 16:51

I used to walk to and from school on my own aged 5. So did half the country. It is still the norm in many places in Europe assuming quiet roads, pavements etc.
I think it is entirely reasonable to leave a 5 yr old on their own for a few minutes in the garden during the day. Three is a bit young, but assuming there is a garden, a gate and the house doorstep is not actually on a busy road, I think it is a judegement call. My DCs all played out in the garden unsupervised at that age.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 29/02/2016 16:55

I think it's ok actually, for such a brief time.

APlaceOnTheCouch · 29/02/2016 16:57

5 yr-old would be fine. Maybe the mum had to carry something to the car so thought the DCs would be safer staying at their front door than walking along the side of the road without her holding their hands?

I'll leave DC at the house if I have to take lots of items to the car first. I'd rather that than trawl them back and forwards, or leave them in the car whilst I go back and forwards iyswim

3 yr-old it depends on whether it was in a closed garden as a PP said.

FourForYouGlenCoco · 29/02/2016 17:00

The 5yo, fair enough, depending on their maturity (although still pushing it a bit if you ask me). The 3yo, no way, what was she thinking?!
I leave my 3yo unsupervised for ages in the house (eg when I'm in the shower, if she's upstairs and I'm downstairs, etc). She is never, ever, EVER allowed out on the street on her own. Totally not worth it IMO, no matter how safe & quiet you think it is. Lucky for her you were keeping an eye!

MyUserNameIsGreat · 29/02/2016 17:06

I thought you meant in the house. Absolutely no way would I leave them. I wouldn't leave my 8 year old in that situation never mind 5 and 3.

MrsH1989 · 29/02/2016 17:10

Today I saw a little boy alone in a bus stop holding an empty pram (which I assume is for when his little legs get tired) on a main road. His mum was about 50 yards away on her phone smoking. He would have been hit by a car before she got to him had he decided to walk into the road. Some people are stupid!

HeteronormativeHaybales · 29/02/2016 17:13

MyUserName - you wouldn't leave your 8yo, in that scenario, for 5 min? WTF? Shock

I wouldn't have left the 5 and 3yo. But 8, a completely different matter.

WorraLiberty · 29/02/2016 17:14

You wouldn't leave an 8 year old on your doorstep for a couple of minutes?

Why ever not? Confused

Birdsgottafly · 29/02/2016 17:14

I, like a previous poster, took myself to school at five, it baffles me why someone couldn't leave an eight year old.

It totally depends on the children, mine played out from three, so did the other children in the areas that I have lived (in Liverpool).

I think it's more dangerous to leave them in the house, which seems to be thought of as OK, on here.

She knows her own children, I could have left mine at that age, for a couple of minutes.

Original poster
upsidedownfrown · 29/02/2016 17:15

Oops sorry I was rather unclear. Ok, the mum was literally just going for her car. I saw her walk past me and I thought she was just late for school pick up. Wasn't till I got to my street that I saw the kids sat there.

Secondly, there's no garden. The door opens right onto the street (think coronation street) so they were basically sat on the pavement.it's not a particularly busy road except for at school pick up time when there's cars up and down constantly (which is the time of day it was)

I'm by no means a perfect parent and don'tlike to judge peoples parenting choices but was just a bit surprised and wanted to scope out other people's views. Always nice to hear what others think!

OP posts:
DaphneWhitethigh · 29/02/2016 17:15

5 maybe, but it's better to take them. 3, no way on god's earth.

Original poster
upsidedownfrown · 29/02/2016 17:17

Ok, it's been so long since I've been on here. Can I change my title so it makes more sense? In on phone not laptop

OP posts:
WipsGlitter · 29/02/2016 17:20

Our neighbours leave their 5/6 alone playing in the street while they go and do messages. He's with his older sister 9/10 but I think that's too young.

SongOfTheLark · 29/02/2016 17:20

Was about to tell you YABU but given that the 5 year old and 3 year old were left alone in the street... YANBU I would never do that. a 5 year old certainly shouldnt be left virtually in charge of another child either.

Birdsgottafly · 29/02/2016 17:20

MrsH, some children don't just walk into roads.

When my eldest and middle DD was 3+, they didn't have to hold my hand, theywere very sensible and very aware of danger.

When I had my first, in the 80's, we left them outside in their plans, many unstrapped. There wasn't lifts etc, they had to learn to be sensible on stairs and escalators, as well.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 29/02/2016 17:20

If she does it again, could you pop over to the kids and chat to them til mum comes back? You could then show her you were a bit concerned and she will hopefully rethink her actions.

DaphneWhitethigh · 29/02/2016 17:20

You can't edit your own post. If necessary you could report it to MNHQ and ask them to change it for you, but it's probably not necessary - it only takes a moment to read your OP