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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be furious with church crèche?

137 replies

Jolene1011 · 28/02/2016 19:00

I'm a long time reader first time poster so please be gentle.
So a friend invited me to visit a new church with her today and me my husband and toddler (16 months) went along with her.
They have a crèche for kids 1-14 split into smaller age groups which we put our daughter in. There were several other happy seeming babies in there but when we came back I noticed straight away she had something in her mouth. Asked crèche ladies who said it was breadsticks and raisins. When got back to the car noticed she still had same mouthful in her mouth and didn't seem to be chewing it. I pried her mouth open to find a blue, plastic "frozen" ring in her mouth!
I showed my husband and he was gobsmacked I couldn't believe they could be that negligent and that they had lied to me when I asked what it was.
We were already down the street in the car on the way to reconnect with the friend who had took us there to have lunch when this happened and I was so angry I knew if I went back into the church I would probably come to regret my words later on.

Have left a voicemail with their head office and waiting to hear back from someone there about the crèche. I thought I was well in my rights to be appalled by this until I told my friend what we had found in her mouth and she seemed totally unsurprised or bothered. This friend is my child's godmother and usually very caring about anything like this. Am I overreacting???

OP posts:

MadamDeathstare · 28/02/2016 20:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GlitteryFluff · 28/02/2016 20:45

Sock puppetry at its finest!

cuntinghomicidalcardigan · 28/02/2016 20:45

Stealth boast there dietcoke ? Kids eating Waitrose olives? I can't get my 16 month old to eat bloody anything!

Chippednailvarnish · 28/02/2016 20:51

I'm intrigued as to who 'head office' is? Direct line to God?

I can see Pope Francis taking the call, whilst checking his olives for stones, wondering why the person who left the message has a different name to the person on the call.

PurpleDaisies · 28/02/2016 20:58

Sock puppetry at its finest!

It looks much more like incompetent name changing to me-Toofondofcake's posts both read like she's the op.

On the substance of the thread, op (whatever your name is) you're overreacting.

Catsize · 28/02/2016 21:02

I reckon that the ring belongs to another child. You didn't spot a problem, so why would they? Typical 'I feel guilty that I wasn't there so I need to blame someone else' reaction. And a huge overreaction at that.
There will be another thread somewhere about negligent church crèche volunteers who failed to spot a ring theft happening right under their noses.

mrsjskelton · 28/02/2016 21:02

I feel YABU. They were not being negligent, she could just as easily have put something in her mouth in your own home.

mrsjskelton · 28/02/2016 21:03

Totally agree catsize.

JemimaHighway · 28/02/2016 21:03

PaulAnkaTheDog, cunting and GliterryFluff has no-one else noticed the sock puppetry/ OP's change of name

andadietcoke · 28/02/2016 21:04

Ha cardigan - my kids are weird. My only explanation is that I ate a lot of olives when I was pregnant.

JemimaHighway · 28/02/2016 21:05

it looks like incompetent name changing to me

Right, ok, but she's never posted before and now all of a sudden has two usernames...seems odd....

Italiangreyhound · 28/02/2016 21:07

Jolene you are totally right to be angry and upset, it must have been scary.

However, I think there are a few issues which are problems with the crèche and I think you should be careful how you raise them, as presumably your desire is to see this does not happen again, rather than simply tell them how angry you are.

As far as I see it there are three issues here, which, in your shoes I would raise with the church.

No, 1 the room used, or boxes of toys brought out, contained a small object not suitable for the age group.This may not be the fault of those helping, I am sure there is not time to examine the boxes of toys or whatever every time. The room should be clean and free of small objects, and any noticed when the helpers come into the room, to set up, removed. I've been in crèche' (not church) where balloons (un-inflated) were in amongst the toys, I removed them all and reported it. Balloons can be a massive chocking hazards. Sadly, balloons are also very popular with kids!

No 2 those helping in the crèche did not notice your child had something in her mouth. We do not know how long it had been there and it may have only just gone in before you came. Niether they nor you checked to see what it was and they wrongly told you it was food.

You did not notice at first either and so it is fair to say that all of you were not totally on the ball that morning. I think you should have looked in her mouth earlier and not assumed it was what the helpers said it was. I think I would have looked first not asked the helpers.

No 3 They served food to your child without checking with you it was OK to do so, e.g. checking she did not have any allergies. Of course if she had allergies you should ideally tell the helpers but probably only if you expected there to be food, it could go either way. This is not something you mentioned as a problem but I think it is only right for helpers to check. If you did not drop her off at the crèche, if your parter or friend did, do check with them this was not discussed before bringing it up with the church.

Whether the crèche is free or paid for, if it is offered you expect excellent, and at the very least safe, care of your child. I expect the church aims to offer that so they should listen to your concerns and act on them.

Loqo · 28/02/2016 21:10

Surely it's not sock puppetry unless it's done to deceive. The OP has just forgotten to use her original name rather than tried to pretend to be someone else. I've seen loads of people do this and not get any grief

Sock puppetry is a different thing altogether.

Oooblimey · 28/02/2016 21:10

Classic case of asking for oppinions and being P'd off when you don't get the response you were hoping for, and then rather than thinking "oh, maybe I am in the wrong?" getting defensive with the people you asked for advise.
Move on duck. Life's too short.

PurpleDaisies · 28/02/2016 21:11

I agree it is very odd jemima. Maybe the op in one of her guises will be back to explain...

Italiangreyhound · 28/02/2016 21:11

PS I volunteer at my church crèche and was 'on duty' today so I read your post with .... trepidation....

Toofondofcake · 28/02/2016 21:11

Crikey ladies drop the conspiracy theory stuff I have no idea what "sock puppetry" is but I changed my username after I realised it was crap and I didn't want my first name in it.

I assumed it would just update my original post. You're all a bit hilarious for telling me off for overreacting and yet going into obsessive detail over my username.

Maybe my initial reaction was a bit OTT but you are all going on like I've stormed in there and punched the staff in the face. I haven't even spoken to their staff yet and when I do I won't be going loopy but I still will be letting them know I think it is bad form what happened. Especially since I do the same as they do most Sunday's in my own church. But you know what I'll move on with my life and so will you all but I know that I won't be posting nasty replies to other women who are looking for a place to vent and get a bit of feedback in an anonymous and hopefully supporting setting.

kawliga · 28/02/2016 21:12

OP, don't leave your toddler for other people to look after. Look after your toddler yourself.

Toofondofcake · 28/02/2016 21:15

Italiangreyhound, thanks for your measured and unjudgemental response. Much appreciated :)

Loqo · 28/02/2016 21:15

I suggest posters look up,the definition of sock puppetry - calling someone a sock puppeteer (?) is the same as accusing them of trolling.

longdiling · 28/02/2016 21:15

What ever kawliga? That's an unrealistic bit of advice isnt it?

FishWithABicycle · 28/02/2016 21:16

Cant believe you called head office about it

hmm. You mean, like, God?

No head office for the CofE would be Lambeth Palace where the Archbishop of Canterbury lives. Or possibly the Queen who is after all the Head of the CofE.

OP your anger is a perfectly normal consequence of your own feelings of guilt. You know full well that you as parent are responsible for deciding whether or not somewhere you leave your baby is safe and suitable. You chose to use a creche with untrained volunteers and now regret it. However, your baby is fine and there's no harm done so really better to take deep breath and move on.

PurpleDaisies · 28/02/2016 21:16

Your new username is definitely nicer .

I think it's fair enough to let the leaders know what happened in a calm and sensible way.

Chippednailvarnish · 28/02/2016 21:18

Maybe my initial reaction was a bit OTT

Well Jolene to be furious, gobsmacked, angry and appalled is more than a bit OTT.
And if you can't take people disagreeing with you don't post on public forums.

As I said the more you post the worse you sound.

CalleighDoodle · 28/02/2016 21:19

Let the little children come to me ... for the kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.

No youre all right. We'll put her in the creche.

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