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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious with church crèche?

137 replies

Jolene1011 · 28/02/2016 19:00

I'm a long time reader first time poster so please be gentle.
So a friend invited me to visit a new church with her today and me my husband and toddler (16 months) went along with her.
They have a crèche for kids 1-14 split into smaller age groups which we put our daughter in. There were several other happy seeming babies in there but when we came back I noticed straight away she had something in her mouth. Asked crèche ladies who said it was breadsticks and raisins. When got back to the car noticed she still had same mouthful in her mouth and didn't seem to be chewing it. I pried her mouth open to find a blue, plastic "frozen" ring in her mouth!
I showed my husband and he was gobsmacked I couldn't believe they could be that negligent and that they had lied to me when I asked what it was.
We were already down the street in the car on the way to reconnect with the friend who had took us there to have lunch when this happened and I was so angry I knew if I went back into the church I would probably come to regret my words later on.

Have left a voicemail with their head office and waiting to hear back from someone there about the crèche. I thought I was well in my rights to be appalled by this until I told my friend what we had found in her mouth and she seemed totally unsurprised or bothered. This friend is my child's godmother and usually very caring about anything like this. Am I overreacting???

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 28/02/2016 19:20

The more you post the worse you are sounding.

acasualobserver · 28/02/2016 19:21

would appreciate hearing how you would all deal with this situation

In your place, I'd ask myself what the Christian approach would be. Not much point going to church otherwise.

phequer · 28/02/2016 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SavoyCabbage · 28/02/2016 19:23

You are massively overreacting. You can't expect people to prise your dd's mouth open to check for things if she is perfectly happy. Like random drug tests at the Olympics.

Short of stripping all the other attendees of the crèche of their Sunday finery, you can't ensure that there are no objects that a baby won't put their mouth. That's what babies do. And five year olds wear Frozen rings to church.

Toofondofcake · 28/02/2016 19:25

Wow chippednailvarnish that is a fairly severe judgement towards someone you've never met... I guess I learned my lesson, don't seek advice or post on mumsnet lest the anger the other women who will pick you apart mercilessly.

Good day ladies.

SuburbanRhonda · 28/02/2016 19:25

On the plus side, she now has her very own Frozen ring ... Grin

sussexman · 28/02/2016 19:26

I'm someone who volunteers in children's groups (not creche mind) and this is definitely something I'd want to hear about, Church groups do generally take child protection seriously - most of us are parents or grandparents after all.

As with the other replies, I'm surprised that you'd be furious that the group didn't spot something that you also didn't spot initially. That seems somewhat unreasonable.

So if you go back, definitely talk, definitely don't attack furiously :)

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 28/02/2016 19:28

I agree with others. It's easy to say 'these things happen', but they do. My first reaction was that another child handed it to her without anyone noticing. It's a worry, yes, I do understand.

Certainly I would let them know. But for information, but for having a go. These are volunteers and this would be the sort of reason why people stop. If you feel it's a risk, don't leave your child.

WorraLiberty · 28/02/2016 19:33

Can I just check that the creche age 1-14 was a typo?

I can't imagine teenagers in a creche Grin

sillyoldfool · 28/02/2016 19:34

I would shrug it off. I would mention it in passing when I returned the ring...

humblebumblejo · 28/02/2016 19:36

YABU! Of course they didn't know.... they hardly would have left it there would they!

Sirzy · 28/02/2016 19:38

I would mention it to them, but as others have said your reaction is way OTT.

Children pick up things and put them in their mouths, it can happen in anyone's care!

phequer · 28/02/2016 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IthinkIamsinking · 28/02/2016 19:42

"Appalled" "Furious" "Gobsmacked" "Safeguarding"
It's a church creche run by volunteers during a church service.

You sound like really hard work. Talk about an overreaction. Cant believe you called head office about it.
YABU and a bit ridiculous IMO

voddiekeepsmesane · 28/02/2016 19:43

phequer Grin they can keep my pre teen 11 year old DS as well

OP while I can see why you are worried I really don't think they lied just didn't know. A quiet word while handing back the ring next time would make them more aware I am sure

myusernamewastaken · 28/02/2016 19:43

Massive over reaction and sadly it points to the type of parent you are probably going to be....the sort whose child can do no wrong etc etc

Ameliablue · 28/02/2016 19:44

I would let them know what happened but I wouldn't place blame as you didn't realise what it was yourself at first.

Allyearcheer · 28/02/2016 19:45

I would let the crèche know what happened for info too, not for attacking them.
It was probably something another child brought in.
Who hasn't found something unsuitable in a small child's mouth? I've fished sharp pieces of broken plastic, street cigarette butts and marbles out of my toddler's......

ClarenceTheLion · 28/02/2016 19:46

Someone must have dropped it in the room by mistake and she picked it up. A plastic toy ring would easily go unseen. I do understand you distress - as you say, what if she had choked on it? But at the same time it is just 'one of those things'. As there were snacks, and assuming they don't routinely have mouth sized toys in the room, of course they'd have thought she was eating.

Bring it to their notice, absolutely, and advise increased vigilance in the future, but anything further would be kind of unreasonable really.

voddiekeepsmesane · 28/02/2016 19:46

Yes if this had happen in an Ofsted inspected paid for nursery then I would say you have something to complain about. But it was a crèche run by volunteers so that parents can attend a church service. If you don't like it then take your child into the service next time ...simples

Loqo · 28/02/2016 19:47

I'd let them know about the ring but I wouldn't be angry.

Jesabel · 28/02/2016 19:47

They didn't lie.
She didn't choke.

I would politely let them know that a small ring (was it even small enough to be a choking hazard?) got into the baby bit, just so they can review how it happened.

SauvignonBlanche · 28/02/2016 19:48

Am I overreacting???
Yes, you are.

Loqo · 28/02/2016 19:49

Cant believe you called head office about it

Hmm. You mean, like, God?

Disastronaut · 28/02/2016 19:49

I dunno, I think this is pretty bad. She had the whole thing closed inside her mouth, right? So she could have choked on it?

I get that it's staffed by volunteers and that of course toddlers put things in their mouths, but the most basic thing when you're looking after a kid is surely 'Don't let them do something that could kill them'. I'd be angry.