Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

To be furious with church crèche?

137 replies

Jolene1011 · 28/02/2016 19:00

I'm a long time reader first time poster so please be gentle.
So a friend invited me to visit a new church with her today and me my husband and toddler (16 months) went along with her.
They have a crèche for kids 1-14 split into smaller age groups which we put our daughter in. There were several other happy seeming babies in there but when we came back I noticed straight away she had something in her mouth. Asked crèche ladies who said it was breadsticks and raisins. When got back to the car noticed she still had same mouthful in her mouth and didn't seem to be chewing it. I pried her mouth open to find a blue, plastic "frozen" ring in her mouth!
I showed my husband and he was gobsmacked I couldn't believe they could be that negligent and that they had lied to me when I asked what it was.
We were already down the street in the car on the way to reconnect with the friend who had took us there to have lunch when this happened and I was so angry I knew if I went back into the church I would probably come to regret my words later on.

Have left a voicemail with their head office and waiting to hear back from someone there about the crèche. I thought I was well in my rights to be appalled by this until I told my friend what we had found in her mouth and she seemed totally unsurprised or bothered. This friend is my child's godmother and usually very caring about anything like this. Am I overreacting???

OP posts:

IthinkIamsinking · 28/02/2016 19:51

Loqo

CandOdad · 28/02/2016 19:53

Maybe they knew since God was watching over them then she would be okay?

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 28/02/2016 19:56

I'm surprised you picked her up and got all the way to the car without noticing or checking what was in her mouth?

Chippednailvarnish · 28/02/2016 19:58

Welcome to MN Toofondofcake interesting first post, just like the OP.

Best wishes, a lying bitch from a church creche who wants small children to choke on frozen rings.

helensburgh · 28/02/2016 19:59

I think you need to raise it with them but not in a furious manner

PaulAnkaTheDog · 28/02/2016 19:59

Accidents happen. You used a free facility provided out of the goodness of people's hearts. Complaining is too far. Letting the staff know what happened so they can be a bit more vigilant in future would be the best action.

Toofondofcake · 28/02/2016 20:01

I think that the people in this thread who are taking my opinion on this matter as license to judge my parenting are going a bit too far.
I neither "think my child can do no wrong" or overreact to everything that happens. In general I am a fairly relaxed parent however this is the first time I have picked my hold up from a child care setting ( and she attends another crèche and nursery every week) in which she has actually got a real choking hazard in her mouth. Not long ago there was a horrible story in the news when I small boy choked on a grape and as such a lot of places quite rightly tightened up on watching out for things like these.

There were 4 babies in the room and two adults one of whom apparently was the woman who was in charge of the children's services in the church.
If this had happened in the church I help out in we would have all felt terrible and reviewed how we were doing things to stop it from happening again.

Also they clearly were not paying close attention to my child if in a 2:1 ration neither of them noticed her putting it in her mouth.

You're all taking great delight in picking me apart and I suppose I did ask for your opinions so fair enough however I think some of the assumptions being made about me are unreasonable in themselves.

Primaryteach87 · 28/02/2016 20:03

I would write this off as a normal childhood experience but then my baby puts things in his mouth all the time, when I am 1 to 1 watching him like a hawk...and still he slips one past me! So I wouldn't assume neglect, just a very motivated child!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 28/02/2016 20:08

Why have you namechanged in the middle of the thread Jolene/Cake?

voddiekeepsmesane · 28/02/2016 20:10

Toofondofcake

A) You post in AIBU be prepared for many different opinions/attitudes ...and don't take it so personally

B) Again I stress these people are volunteers not Ofsted inspected, qualified people and I assume you knew this before placing your child in their care ....which was your choice

C0 stop overeacting....as many have said a quiet word and their will be more aware about these issues

sillyoldfool · 28/02/2016 20:10

When I just had two children, so we were on a permanent 2:1 ratio, one of them often put something in their mouth... It happens. You need to calm down or the next few years are going to be awful for you.

cuntinghomicidalcardigan · 28/02/2016 20:12

Toofond are you the OP? Why the name change?

The situation is definitely something I would report to the organisers, but I think you are over reacting somewhat. You did ask.

Can you mention it in a 'maybe how snacks are available should be reviewed to ensure that they are eaten in a closely supervised setting, then play allowed to resume and snack cleared away?'

gallicgirl · 28/02/2016 20:12

Erm is there a bit of sock puppetry going on or did op change username?

voddiekeepsmesane · 28/02/2016 20:12

that should read C) stop over reacting ....as many have said a quiet word and they will be more aware next time

Allyearcheer · 28/02/2016 20:14

As choking hazards go, surely it was a fairly benign one. A ring,by definition, has a hole in it so surely air could continue to get through even if she did swallow it?
Anyway, regardless of that, I still think you are over reacting. As Primary said, even in one to one you can't watch the child ALL the time. It is unreasonable to think anyone can.
You are, however, clearly determined to damn these church volunteers to hell and never had any intention of modifying your views in response to what anyone said. Carry on being righteously furious if you want to.

CooPie10 · 28/02/2016 20:17

You haven't answered the question of what did you expect them to do if she showed no sign of distress? Both you or your husband didn't either until you pried her mouth open. Did you expect them to do that for every child just in case?

ManneryTowers · 28/02/2016 20:20

I think this is rubbish personally but, as someone who volunteers weekly at our church crèche I am amazed both you and your DH thought it was ok to leave your child for the whole service. One of you should have stayed so you need to take your own share of the responsibility.
Plus, as PPs have said, we are all volunteers who arrive early to set up, plan and prepare activities, sort out drinks and snacks, then provide an hour or so of free childcare. All whilst having our own family and/or job. We aren't Ofsted registered because you are getting a freebie. And I am sure no one 'lied' to you.

kawliga · 28/02/2016 20:24

You left your toddler in a crèche in a church you were just visiting? Why? Why didn't you sit with her in the church or else go to the crèche with her? Like others have said these creches are run by volunteers, but I don't get why you would leave such a young child - it's different if you go there regularly and she's familiar with the volunteers.

By the way, sorry about the ring in her mouth but you should have been looking after her yourself.

kawliga · 28/02/2016 20:25

cross-posted with mannery.

JemimaHighway · 28/02/2016 20:30

It's weird that a long time lurker, first time poster has two usernames....no?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 28/02/2016 20:31

Exactly Jemima

melonribena · 28/02/2016 20:32

I went to church with my 10 mth old. I just kept him in the service with me. When he'd had enough, I took him out, or my dp did.

HowBadIsThisPlease · 28/02/2016 20:35

I think there is a mis-match between your extreme outrage at this and the fact that you left a very young child with amateur volunteers whom you hadn't met before, without checking the site / equipment etc (as you probably would if you registered your child at a new nursery)

I can see both points of view in isolation, but together in the same person it's a bit odd. I think you need to be a bit more realistic, either in a "these things happen" way, or in a "not out of my sight till I've checked everything" way.

(Was it a C of E church? I go to one now, having been brought up catholic, and it freaks me out a little the way the children are hived off to entirely separate spaces, and you have the choice of staying with them to see what's going on and entirely missing the liturgy which presumably is why you wanted to go to church in the first place; or you abandon them to their fate. I don't mind so much now my children know lots of people and are very verbal, but as really little ones it freaked me out and I raised eyebrows by bringing them into "real church" with me at times, although they were very good. there were other reasons for that too though)

andadietcoke · 28/02/2016 20:39

I bought some pitted olives from Waitrose. Tonight, my 2.5 yo twins were eating the olives. One was messing about with one in her mouth. Turns out it had a stone in. Should I...
A) complain bitterly to waitrose head office?
B) start a PA social media campaign against waitrose?
C) mark it up to experience, be grateful I keep a close eye on my kids when their mouths are full, and get them to open their mouths if they're full for a while?

Crikeyblimey · 28/02/2016 20:41

I'm intrigued as to who 'head office' is? Direct line to God?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread