To feel resentful of my inlaws treatment of Dh (their son, brother) during struggle with alcohol and drug abuse and his recovery?

[YoJesse]

Dh had been spiraling into heavier and heavier drug and alcohol abuse but recently due to a serious health scare he's been forced to tackle it. before his time in hospital his own family had pretty much given up on him, breaking contact with us (me, Dh and ds3). His own mother said she couldn't bear to see what he was doing to himself and didn't come to visit him in hospital. (non of his family did) As a mother I just can't imagine getting to a point where I break ties with my son. I'd always keep supporting him and being there for him. Aibu to judge them?

Me too, thought the same thing MT

YoJesse, from your last update it's very worrying, it doesn't sound like your son has a very safe home with his father being like that. It sounds like your husband drags you back down when you've struggled to get away from all of that, don't you think he will continue doing that? To your son's detriment?

Social workers won't remove your child because you smoke weed from time to time fuck sake.
Your children are clean, watered & fed not at actual risk.
Some people need to get on the real world.

Yes, so toxicology results revealed something was not as as it should have been and dh was so unwell. Very awkward conversation happened with staff that were more used to dealing with home help scenarios. He willingly explained and child safeguarding team were called. By the time I got to hospital I was livid.

roundaway id you read the OPs last update before saying not at risk?

Dh passing out cold 5 day ds in the his arm screaming. Couldn't wake dh till 3 hours later and he just rolled into the floor. Out all night many times returning blood stained. And I think I mentioned (which I'd never do In rl, dh taking ds out to score in his buggy). Sometimes I go of the rails
But only when ds is away.

Social workers won't remove your child because you smoke weed from time to time fuck sake

Did you miss the part where he's addicted to much harder drugs than weed? OP doesn't have a social worker because of the weed, but because of EVERYTHING ELSE.

Jaysus, pay attention.

Yeah but OP isn't addicted to other substances

You were livid because he owned up? Not because he had enough shit in his blood stream to warrant a call to SS? FFS.

Yep, so having a rare night off child care and getting a bit too honest. Not high though.

Yeah but OP isn't addicted to other substances
Are you sure?

But even if she isn't, her partner is. And he takes the child with him to meet drug dealers. Do you not think that matters?

Why were you livid?

Your DH told the truth to professionals and they identified a safeguarding concern and involved social services. That is a good thing.

Your DH very clearly has a serious problem. This does affect your DS. His father holding him while out of it and then passing out is Not Good At All. I'm not sure I could have forgiven DH if that had happened when DS was a newborn and I would certainly have asked him to leave. You know that taking your son out with him when he goes to buy drugs is not acceptable, especially not in a man who you know is not always in a fit state to be a parent when he's with your son (as proved by the passing out example) and who often comes home in a state and bloodstained.

And that's only what you've told us.

This thread makes me feel physically sick. You are completely blinded to the risks you are putting your child in. Your child, who you are supposed to do anything for. You complain about your in laws in your opening post, and yet you are setting your child up to be screwed up for life.

Take a long hard look in the mirror.

You both need a fucking reality check.

I really hope social services stay involved.

How can come people take their children so fucking for granted?,

Gad, I understand this, all off this but it's a lot to deal wwwhen it's been th e normal. FWIW I don't think it's normal but it's impring and his family are not seeing it.

My ds is safe I promise you l

Wow.

What I actually want to say to you could get me banned. I will say that I am so, so glad that social services are involved.

Sorry op but your latest posts aren't very coherent, are you sure you're not high?

Has it occurred to you that his family have gone no contact with you because he's not only a drug addict/drunk, he's also put his child in danger, and his partner (you) is also a drinker/drug taker?

He is not safe and I find this thread very upsetting. Your poor DS 😰

It's a pity we don't have his family's input on the thread

Costa it's a pity we don't have his Family's phone numbers to go and check on their grandchild

I am with you Alis....

But he isn't really safe, is he? You've just told us some of the things that make your son unsafe.

Even without that having a substance-addicted parent is generally harmful to a child's emotional development in all sorts of ways. That's true even where the other parent does not also have their own issues with substance abuse and can see the situation more clearly.

I can imagine that it's very hard to hear, because this all seems normal to you. But, really, it is very much not normal and not OK.

Please do be honest and work with the social worker. It really sounds like your DH is not the only one who needs to change here.

I'm calling . But if it's not I really think given the last few posts and the things OP admitted earlier this is an occasion where MN should hand any details they have over to the police.

DS passed out high with his kid in his arms and you think its his family being unreasonable.

No. This is not ok.

You would not do anything for your son.

Please, please we are dealing with everything. No police. My hq pm me if worried but we are doing ok.