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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

just asked someone too leave my house. as all they have done is insult my baby!

340 replies

Murphyslaw21 · 28/02/2016 11:18

I'm fuming. An old work colleague has moved near to me, we always got on OK although she always had a brush up her arse. Anyway we bumped into each other the other day and I suggested she comes round for a coffee. So our two babies can meet. They are both 9 months.

So she turned up, and was very patronising about my house. It's a bit of building site but lounge is lovly. But I got the oohh you were brave doing that colour scheme. It's duck egg blue. Anyway let it go.

So I'm feeding baby girl and she says oh can't she feed herself. So I said she has finger food but mostly just gets licked and thrown. So I feed her whilst she is playing with finger food. Oh MINE feeds herself. Next it's playing on floor. Mine sits up but falls over if left, colleague says oh MINE has been sitting by herself for at least two months. She is very advanced for her age. Then she has made a comment that it's strange to be in baby gro rather than clothes. So I said but she can roll around and play without it all getting skirted up. Oh MINE just screames if she is a baby gro. She likes clothes. Final straw was I'm making a drink and she says oh arnt her eyes close together. So I said no quiet abruptly. To be told maybe it's just because she has a large head!

I'm livid. So I fly in and said exact words " oh fuvk off. You've done nothing but insult my baby, did u come round just to make you feel that your baby is superior". She then said you never could take criticism,

So I lost it and said ( I feel a bit bad about this because her baby is really cute) take your ugly fucking kid and get out, go bitch to your husband ... Oh no you can't cause he is shacked up with his girlfriend. And no I see why.

Ok I feel a bit mean about ugly baby comment but I was livid. I'm fuming so fuming. There was so many digs and comments. Why why why I would never compare my baby to someone else's and I certainly never been so rude.

OP posts:
Murphyslaw21 · 28/02/2016 13:21

I just got back I was so upset went over park.

Like I say I feel bad for what I said. And no I don't have anger issues.

There were loads of little digs not just the big ones.

She had a brush up her arse at work.... She was semi senior accountant. I was office manager. Her view was apart from accountants anyone could do everyone else's roll. She had numerous talking a too by partners as her attitude was bad. Pay rises should only be given to qualified staff. Annual leave was qualified staff priority over someone else.

Spoken to a couple of friends since and they were not surprised she acted like this. And all seem to think I hung out longer than they would have.

So actually don't have any remorse.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 28/02/2016 13:21

When your children start YR together the school gates will be a must see.

Cuttheraisins · 28/02/2016 13:22

Good. For. You. Looking back I wish I had the guts to do what you did with one person in particular, the only 'friend' who made me feel like shit because I had an emergency c section. Obviously she had a home birth.

Sparklingbrook · 28/02/2016 13:22

When did this happen?

Murphyslaw21 · 28/02/2016 13:23

Happened this morning....

And yes it happened we always got on okish at work I thought it would be nice to catch up

OP posts:
sadsister4 · 28/02/2016 13:25

Well, you were wrong there Grin

Good on you, OP. I wish I had the balls to tell a few nobheads what I think of their snide comments. At least you won't have to put up with her anymore.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 28/02/2016 13:25

I like duck egg blue as well.

Sounds lovely.

Sparklingbrook · 28/02/2016 13:25

You have had a very busy morning.

M00nUnit · 28/02/2016 13:26

If this is true OP I have no problem at all with your handling of the situation. Her behaviour in your home was shocking - yes you were rude but she'd already made several rude comments to you and goaded you into losing your temper. Hopefully you've shocked her into realising she needs to stop being such a nasty cow in future.

blueturtle6 · 28/02/2016 13:27

If you see her again apologise for the baby comment, tell her you meant to say finking ugly attitude.

MistressDeeCee · 28/02/2016 13:28

Yeah you were mean OP. But I know Id have said more or less the exact same, probaby not the ugly baby bit but words fly out when we're angered.. and we regret some of them. The cheek of her, after being invited into your space then dissing your home and child. Your patience span is slightly longer than mine Id have told her to get to fuck out of my house after around 2nd comment, I think.

People are often seriously rude because they assume a God given right to dictate, and deludedly think they can also choose other people's reactions ( I will say this and you won't respond, if you do respond you are being over-sensitive/can't take criticism/ etc ). I remember an ex-friend of mine used to be really blunt with people to the point of being hurtful..must admit when I noticed that, I then did the same to her. Honestly she would squeal like a stuck pig about it..ibut it was ok for her to reduce people to tears (including telling another friend of ours that her child looked "delayed"! ) and tell people "well I tell it how it is, I speak the truth if people don't like it, tough" but nobody played the hurt martyr more than her

YWNBU OP, hope you felt better afterwards, better to say your piece rather than let it go then brood on itSmile

PacificDogwod · 28/02/2016 13:29

You both sound incredibly defensive about your babies - I dunno, I've heard about theses types of situations before, but I seem to lack the competitive parenting trait or summat.
My DCs are perfect in every way and if others cannot see that, then that is their loss GrinWink
The only person allowed to moan about my perfect offspring is me - see multitude of freds on here...

Murphyslaw21 · 28/02/2016 13:29

Trying to answer all replies

If and I mean if I see her again I will apologise for baby comment but nothing else.

Laura Ashley duck egg blue it's really nice

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 28/02/2016 13:30

Well possibly a bit nasty with the ugly baby comment but I like the rest! Grin

Sparklingbrook · 28/02/2016 13:31

If your babies are the same age chances are you will bump into her a lot. It may be she won't want your apology, and things will be awkward forevermore.

NickiFury · 28/02/2016 13:33

I'm afraid I laughed. Even at the ugly baby comment Grin

balia · 28/02/2016 13:35

I want to comment on the spelling but I'm frightened she'll chin me...

meatliqour · 28/02/2016 13:36

She deserved it! Well done ... I like you

figureofspeech · 28/02/2016 13:36

Well done, I really wish I had the confidence to do that some nasty people I have the misfortune to know. Hopefully the silly cow will realise that if she continues in this way she will be alone for the rest of her life. Very insecure woman with a delusional sense of self importance.

CaptainCrunch · 28/02/2016 13:39

Not RTFT but I remember people like this when I had my DD nearly 19 years ago. Everything was a competition. Everything was a sly PA dig that their baby was more advanced/prettier/cleverer than yours. It really was dreadful. And I had a colleague very similar to the OP's. She made pointless, nasty personal comments all the time so I can kind of understand the OP's reaction.

ilovesooty · 28/02/2016 13:42

So figure it's her fault her husband left her for someone else? Hmm

NNalreadyinuse · 28/02/2016 13:51

Even if this woman was trying to make herself feel better, having been left by her husband, it is not the OP's moral duty to suck up her shit, so that she doesn't feel bad!

Parents are generally very very protective of their children and even though we might privately consider someone else's child to be not as pretty/advanced/whatever as our own, only a total muppet bitch says so out loud to the parent of that child. It would be very hard not to react badly.

I dunno, maybe her husband did leave her because she is a bitch. It's not only nice women who get left. I think she had those comments coming and that if either comment by the OP is to be criticised, it would be the one where she called the colleague's baby ugly. But OP already regrets that. The husband leaving her comment, imo she had that coming!

Murphyslaw21 · 28/02/2016 13:54

For the posters that think I'm running off or disappearing... I'm not but I am going to start dinner. So I will be back

Actually decided not going to apologise... Don't feel bad. She was rude from when she walked in.

My baby is not perfect but none are. They are all gorgeous and all get to where they are going to in the end. Some take longer than others.

However I would just like to add my baby does not have a big head . Grin

OP posts:
NNalreadyinuse · 28/02/2016 13:54

I also used to know a woman who prided herself on being plain speaking and honest. In truth, she was blunt to the point of rudeness. Never could take 'plain speaking' from anyone else though - she was the most awful sulker.

Can't take it, don't dish it out!

NNalreadyinuse · 28/02/2016 13:55

No don't apologise. She will take it as permission to carry on being rude.

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