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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all does not apply on mumsnet

54 replies

susieb19 · 27/02/2016 21:28

I don't really get it..

I scroll through the posts on mumsnet and browse things people post that interest me (for whatever reason)..and it never fails to amaze me how people can be ar*ed to write something sarcastic or unsympathetic or just be mean to the op. Who could be bothered?! (I'll soon see I suppose!).

It's not about people disagreeing with the op about whatever they have raised. It's the way it's done. Is it because it's anonymous? But it's not fully anonymous is it. I've spotted people in the education thread especially who you see time and again posting nasty, sarcastic replies.

I'm no flower waving hippy by any means but can't life be rubbish enough sometimes without us pulling each other down too (here comes the flame). I don't expect fairy land but just a degree of general kindness. Hmm

OP posts:
BlueEyesAndDarkChocolate · 27/02/2016 21:30

You are right. There are some very horrid people around. :-(

BorisJohnsonsHair · 27/02/2016 21:35

But it is for discussion and opinion. And also for swearing so no need to put * in your words.

VulcanWoman · 27/02/2016 21:35

Some people use this site to take their shit out on others, best just to be ignored.

blackcatwhitewhiskers · 27/02/2016 21:37

Firstly, being 'nice' isn't always helpful.

Secondly, discussion and debate is a huge part of mumsnet.

Thirdly, it would be boring Grin

However I do hate it when people disagree with the op just for the sake of being disagreeable.

Original poster
susieb19 · 27/02/2016 21:37

Ha ha that really did make me laugh out loud pp - thanks re the asterisks!!!so I can say arrrrrse like father jack openly. Arrrrrrrrse.

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 27/02/2016 21:38

Some people are arseholes who like to make themselves feel better by making others feel shit.

Some have no empathy and some seem to forget there is a real person behind the screen.

Sallystyle · 27/02/2016 21:39

There is a massive difference between disagreeing with someone, even quite passionately and just being a cunt for being a cunts sake.

Easy to spot the difference.

Original poster
susieb19 · 27/02/2016 21:39

Discussion and debate is why I come on mumsnet. I said in my op its not about people disagreeing with the op. My question is how someone can be arsed (thanks pp'r!) to write demeaning replies.

OP posts:
MrsWhirling · 27/02/2016 21:40

I said this the other day on a post. Mumsnet is full of horrid bitchy women at the moment it would seem. I do think it is because it's anonymous.?

thebiscuitindustry · 27/02/2016 21:42

I think the vast majority of posts are sensible and helpful. It's fine to disagree and most people here do so respectfully. Sometimes things go too far and that's what the "report" link is for.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 27/02/2016 21:42

Yanbu.

I don't know whether I've just not noticed before, but the first comments on any AIBU thread are quite often awful. I try and get in first now, just to be nice!

IrritableBitchSyndrome · 27/02/2016 21:43

Agree with you op. I don't agree with everyone, all the time, but why be downright nasty? I don't see the need for it either.

Thornrose · 27/02/2016 21:44

I only really use MN so I have nothing to compare it with.

I have to say I don't find it full of "horrid bitchy women". I've been moved to tears more than once over the last couple of days by compassionate caring women.

What other forums do you use, are they "nicer" then MN?

JolseBaby · 27/02/2016 21:50

Wrote post, MN won't accept it. Bloody website has been really glitchy all day!

CBA to re-type it all but YANBU basically, although I have met people like this IRL.

squoosh · 27/02/2016 21:51

For an anonymous internet forum I find MN to be pretty civil on the whole.

Vintage45 · 27/02/2016 21:51

Personally I've tried other networks and they are bland and boring. Mumsnet is NEVER boring and I love it for that.

Real life is no different so why should it be so on line?

southeastastra · 27/02/2016 21:53

mn has always been a say how you feel site, i think it will be a sad day when people bring on the 'if you can't say anything nice' line

usual · 27/02/2016 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

southeastastra · 27/02/2016 21:54

though mn seems to be on the 'turn'

usual · 27/02/2016 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
susieb19 · 27/02/2016 21:56

But imho people in real life are different. If you got chatting to a stranger or even to someone you know and they said something like 'I'm considering a private school for my kids'...its unlikely you'd say 'it's people like you who are driving the state system into the ground with your sanctimonious bullshit about wanting the best for your child..'...as an example...

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 27/02/2016 21:57

There will always be the odd one or two who are just out for an argument, such is life on 'tinternet!

I try not to engage these people and just disagree where I genuinely do disagree!

Vintage45 · 27/02/2016 21:58

Grin Ive been on others and wanted to bash my head off the table to realise I was still alive.

Mumsnet is bloody unique and long may it continue!

Fight your corner or fluff off Grin

usual · 27/02/2016 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

squoosh · 27/02/2016 21:59

Of course it's different in real life. In real life you're hardly likely to announce to a bunch of strangers 'I have an itchy rash on my nethers, what could it be?' for example.

Yes some people have their pet issues that they're pretty bloody forthright about but that's true on any internet forum I would imagine.