to think, frankly id rather be in my own that be with or live with a man ever again?

[spillyobeans]

Recently posted a thread about my dh basically being a lazy git who is quite happy for me to cook, clean, pick up after him and do everything with our 8 month old (all whilst i do full time uni and a job) whilst he does nothing. And i see many other mumsnetters posting about similar situations...where the wife/partner gets called a moan or a nag...yet the man does absolutely nothing.

I didnt marry the man im stuck with today. He used to be good company, there used to be a pretty equal division of labour so to speak: this was nefore children. Now hes just...changed.

Aibu to think that if i do leave my dh, that i genuinely have no desire to be with a man again. The idea of living with a man again....god. id just rather be by myself. Has anyone else experienced this? Im only 25 but i think i would be so much happier without having to bother with men ever again!!!

I've been divorced for 8 years and absolutely love living on my own. I've never been happier. I have a male friend and sort of a friend with benefits, but I would never live with anyone again and I'm absolutely not bothered about sex. I love my own space, not having to compromise, put up with someone else's habits, stuff etc. If I want cereal and toast for dinner and to go to bed at 8pm and watch crap tv on my laptop till 1am, I have no one making any comments.

I have a divorced friend and she feels the same. All of our respective friends find it very hard to understand that we are happy as we are and just don't want or need to be in another relationship.

I am more than double your age but I honestly think that if I'd left my ex earlier, I'd have felt the same as I do now. So imo YANBU.

YANBU, I have lived with just DD for about 10 years, though I did have a relationship for some of that time. Only bad things are getting left out of couples socialising and rarely getting any sort of a night out - mostly I miss an evening or exercise class - as DD is pretty much always here and I can't afford a babysitter.

marriage is man's greatest invention-so of course it works for them.

This is why I'll probably use a sperm donor to become a mother, there are too many man-children.

YANBU. I was on my own with dd1 for three and half years. I have partner now and we have another child together. He is not useless at all and we have reached a balance of who does what, which is fine, but I still find the whole relationship is a massive compromise a lot of the time! I'm happy enough, but if we split I wouldn't put myself through it all again. I'm fairly sure I would also choose never to live with a man again. Life is so much simpler alone!

queen you're so right. My xMIL was an infamous nag and there was no way I wanted to be like that. That did mean that xh was conditioned to only respond to nagging. His refusal to do anything unless nagged wore me down. When his womanizing came to light there was no foundation of love/respect to try and rebuild the relationship.

I would never want to be in that situation again and being a single parent I have far better things to do with my precious downtime than finding a new man. You do notice how men can't get their heads round wanting to stay single and married men seem to be very wary of letting you socialize with their wives in case it's contagious .

I also like the fact I'm teaching my dd that you can be happy on your own and the importance of being comfortable in your own skin.

Well, this thread seems pretty unanimous.

Blokes are okay (or not okay) but we wouldn't choose to live with one again.

I've been single for 19 years. I split from DD's dad when she was about 12 months old Aand never really met any I wanted to live with again. I'm perfectly happy. DD is at University now, so I'm solo in the house. I like that, too. I sometimes worry about being old and lonely if I can't easily get out of the house, but being married now wouldn't be any protection against that anyway.

Yes exhausted, angry and bitter sums me up most days.

OP he sounds totally useless. I'm a SAHM mum with a toddler and DP still helps out with lie ins etc. You WORK and STUDY too and he still does nothing! It really sounds like you would prefer being single as at least you wouldn't have to waste time and energy moaning and feeling resentful.

My DH left just after Christmas. Devastated as I am about my marriage breaking down, it is so much easier at home with just me and DD. My wonderful female friends and I want to buy a mansion when we retire (we can dream) with space for us all to live in our own apartments and a communal area for when we want company. We might keep some men in a separate wing.

ah, so all men are complete shits.

all women are air-headed bimbos. Acceptable? Of course not.

if your 'partner' is a wrong 'un, tell him to shape up or ship out. And yes, being on your own is perfectly acceptable and a far better idea than shacking up or breeding with another wrong 'un.

I was very happily married, then widowed.

I've had, FWBs and a six year relationship, I've just started dating again at 47 and I know that I will never live with someone again.

My ex lived 'back home' (to help with his Dad who was terminally ill), which suited me.

My DD (SAHM soon student) has a baby just over one and was going through this with her DP.
She was prepared to end the relationship if he didn't do his fair share. He was very blasé at first, but two weeks without them and he had a complete turnaround. He now pulls his weight and has their little one overnight and she stays in my other DDs, to relax and have a full nights sleep.

Probably the most unanimous thread I have ever read on Mumsnet!

YANBU, I loved living on my own with DS

Yanbu, I am a single mum of 3 and I have absolutely no desire to live with another adult again.

I love my husband, but I'm also quite content on my own. Once a year he takes the kids up to his parents for a few days and I LOVE it!!!!!! Hahahaha

I would never live with another man again. DH is lazy and I don't suppose he'll change now.

If I was left alone j think I would enjoy it, and wouldn't want to give up my freedom.

I separated from my husband in October and I have no room for a man. I'd be happy to have someone who I'd see twice a week maybe, but I can't live with someone again. I love my house, my stuff around me and no shit or clutter anywhere.

QueenLaBeefah put it in a nutshell.

It wouldnt be a problem if men would just be fucking honest from the outset about what they really want. But they wont, because that would mean admitting they are only looking for 'partners' with low self esteem.

titclash surely you mean some men?

Yanbu I love life without exh, so peaceful I worry about being on my own post 50/60 though, I think I'll want a companion to travel with.
Too many of friends have been pushed into a lose/lose situation by lazy partners.
Ask him to do his fair share = nag
Only do 50% but let his 50% slide = live on a shit hole
Do everything so you are not a nag and don't live in a shit hole = exhausted, angry and bitter
Wow I'm saving that paragraph, just how I feel

I think I'd quite like to try living with a man again, because even though my last attempt was a disaster I can put that down to 1) incompatibility and 2) lack of communication about expectations. But, I'd want the following:

• My own room/den for when I need to recharge my introvert batteries
• That the man sorts his snoring out or has his own bedroom
• That he works away regularly or works such hours that he's not always at home when I am.