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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to fall for a very old friend?

531 replies

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 27/02/2016 00:08

So I can't talk to my IRL friends about this as we are a close knit group and I'm worried about it going wrong. But I am in a bit of a pickle.

I recently met up with a man I have been friends with for years but for one reason or another, haven't seen for the last couple of years. We have been out for dinner and/or drinks about 5 times in the last couple of weeks, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends.

The time before last we were mistaken for a couple by a drunk old boy trying to make conversation. Neither of us corrected him - keen to escape - but I kind of glowed when he referred to me as 'your lady', to my friend. When we left I was suddenly overwhelmed with an urge to kiss him goodbye. (I bottled it and kissed his cheek. Unusual for us as we are both very reserved and a bit awkward.)

We ran into each other last night and had a drink. I had bailed on a very big fancy party, and he was surprised but pleased to see me. I went home at the end of the night and kept waking up in the night trying to make sense of it all.

We are around the same age, he is a little older, and both single. He is painfully shy (I think he has only had one serious girlfriend) and I have a (frankly undeserved) reputation as being a bit of a slapper. We share interests, can sit and talk all night, text almost every day. I don't want to jump him - he would run for the hills - but I can't shake the quiet realisation that I may be falling in love with my kind, shy, gentle friend.

Where do I go from here?

OP posts:
Grapejuicerocks · 06/03/2016 22:59

What time is kick off tomorrow op? what time does ds go to bed
What is on the menu?

Ooh I'm excited now. A live first date thread.

Hushabyelullaby · 07/03/2016 06:43

Fantastic! Can't wait to hear how it goes and wishing you loads of luck, i'm living vicariously through your story! I'm so excited for you.

ConkersDontScareSpiders · 07/03/2016 08:41

Excellent!! Whatcha gonna make?? This is SO exciting!!

MaryPoppinsPenguins · 07/03/2016 09:10

I have only just found this thread and now I have no idea what the texts say!!

stumblymonkey · 07/03/2016 11:17

YY we need all the prep details....what will you make? What will you wear? Will you go for full on atmosphere...candles, background music...or keep it low key?

candykane25 · 07/03/2016 11:26

When DH and I first starting dating, we knew full well we were both into each other but wanted to go slow and not rush into anything.
First date early evening coffee. He gave me a lift home, and a peck on the cheek.
2nd date cinema, hand holding and peck on the cheek.
Third date pubs but DH driving so not drinking, peck on the cheek
4th date can't remember what we did but at the end of the evening came the snog. Which was amazing.
5th date was a day out at a museum and a romantic walk. Both utterly well and truly hooked by then.
So you know, a slow burn can be absolutely lovely. Even with us impatient lot watching your every move :)

doughnutslikefannys · 07/03/2016 12:26

So you know, a slow burn can be absolutely lovely.

I'll have to take your word for that. DP and I were friends for ages before we finally got together, both knew we had liked each other for a long time and on our second "proper" date I had to run to the bathroom to shave my legs at 11pm BlushGrin

candykane25 · 07/03/2016 13:39

Shaved legs...
I used to have them when i was single ;)

Wigeon · 07/03/2016 13:50

I was friends with DH before we started going out - went to visit him where he lived, he took me to dinner at a candlelit French restaurant, walked me home to where I was staying (with another friend)...nada, not even a peck on the cheek.

So I had to go back to see him in his lunch hour the next day and tell him I thought we should go out. No beating around the bushes because I think he wouldn't have got it!

You might have to be really really clear what you want because he might be too shy / nervous / dense to get it unless you are!

Good luck tonight - what's the menu?

Threefaries · 07/03/2016 14:45

Oh I love this thread. Every time I come back to read it it makes me want to snog my husband Grin

HelloCanYouHearMe · 07/03/2016 17:40

What time do i need to be back here tonight????

I have my comfy 'movie watching' trousers at the ready, popcorn and a box of tissues ready to wipe a tear at the happy ending....

Tonight will be the night, I can feel it in my water!

booksandcoffee · 07/03/2016 18:34

I have been reading MN via my DP's account for for about a year and nothing has been as wonderful as reading this thread, so much so I had to join for myself. Not that I am emotionally invested in the tale, oh not at all. Grin

Have a wonderful time tonight OP and I really hope it all works out the way you both want it to!

Grapejuicerocks · 07/03/2016 18:40

Where's the op?

stopshowingoff72 · 07/03/2016 18:42

ahh hope OP is not feeling under pressure to now entertain us all - its coming from a good place! x

YerTiz · 07/03/2016 18:51

I've found I've slowly lost weight (and not been hungry!) by doing similar. I'll have:

Boiled egg and toast for breakfast

Salad for lunch (but a nice substantial one - lettuce leaves, tomatoes, cucumber, avocado, cheese/tuna/more egg)

Then a normal dinner - I like to keep the carbs at dinner as I recall reading that carbs later on can help you sleep?

YerTiz · 07/03/2016 18:52

Wha??? Wrong thread! Sorry Grin

YerTiz · 07/03/2016 18:52

Ps good luck OP Flowers

TheFridgePickersKnickers · 07/03/2016 18:59

Enjoy your evening OP Wink

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 07/03/2016 19:38

I'm here!! In case anyone was worried. I came on the worlds heaviest period this morning and then had a dinner panic and ended up with A BUTTERNUT SQUASH. I am peeling a butternut squash. I might as well propose now. All going well my end. Kickoff in about half hour if I haven't thrown squash out the window and gone to bed in a huff.

OP posts:
oldlaundbooth · 07/03/2016 19:50

Sounds good, YerTiz Grin

OP, what are you cooking tonight? Oysters? Wink

oldlaundbooth · 07/03/2016 19:51

Ooh, squtternut bosh, my fave Grin

oldlaundbooth · 07/03/2016 19:51

Dice it, olive oil, garlic, herbs, roast for 40 mins.

LUSH.

NotNowPike · 07/03/2016 19:59

No garlic though , ugh hate the stuff

fruitlovingmonkey · 07/03/2016 20:00

Good luck Rain, we are all rooting for you! Wink

tingon · 07/03/2016 20:15

I'm with MaryPoppins, just found the thread and all the good bits are missing. What a swizz!

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