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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to fall for a very old friend?

531 replies

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 27/02/2016 00:08

So I can't talk to my IRL friends about this as we are a close knit group and I'm worried about it going wrong. But I am in a bit of a pickle.

I recently met up with a man I have been friends with for years but for one reason or another, haven't seen for the last couple of years. We have been out for dinner and/or drinks about 5 times in the last couple of weeks, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends.

The time before last we were mistaken for a couple by a drunk old boy trying to make conversation. Neither of us corrected him - keen to escape - but I kind of glowed when he referred to me as 'your lady', to my friend. When we left I was suddenly overwhelmed with an urge to kiss him goodbye. (I bottled it and kissed his cheek. Unusual for us as we are both very reserved and a bit awkward.)

We ran into each other last night and had a drink. I had bailed on a very big fancy party, and he was surprised but pleased to see me. I went home at the end of the night and kept waking up in the night trying to make sense of it all.

We are around the same age, he is a little older, and both single. He is painfully shy (I think he has only had one serious girlfriend) and I have a (frankly undeserved) reputation as being a bit of a slapper. We share interests, can sit and talk all night, text almost every day. I don't want to jump him - he would run for the hills - but I can't shake the quiet realisation that I may be falling in love with my kind, shy, gentle friend.

Where do I go from here?

OP posts:
quietbatperson · 04/03/2016 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ifyoulikepinacolada · 04/03/2016 18:34

What is the tone of the texting OP?! (Overinvested? Me?!).

This is my favourite thread ever, it's like i can vicariously make up for my-one-that-got-away. And you've totally learned from all the pp's mistakes so i'm really proud of you!!!

Onsera3 · 04/03/2016 18:43

I was about to look for a new romance to read but this is even better!

Can't wait for next instalment. If only we could see all the texts.

Clobbered · 04/03/2016 18:56

After all that build up, I think we should definitely see the texts. It's too long to wait until the next instalment otherwise.

MimsyBorogroves · 04/03/2016 19:00

I married my best friend Wink And yes, it started off slow and when we started (properly) we didn't half tiptoe around telling people how we felt. But it worked, and it's ace.

MrsJamin · 04/03/2016 19:02

What a thrilling read, this thread! How exciting for you OP!

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 19:03

Texts: flirty, happy, short, frequent. WITH KISSES. In 5 sodding years I've never had a kiss on a text, and I am an Effusive Kisser (less so IRL) - I didn't think he knew where the button was. I did declare some pages ago that this might be the longest thread in history Grin

OP posts:
ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 19:07

Also I feel slightly guilty about publishing his texts, like an online equivalent of passing my phone round the pub for everyone to have a look Blush and would be MORTIFIED if he was pinging mine around on an office email chain or something...so...it's tempting to get some analysis other than my own but I just feel a bit guilty! Will definitely keep you all posted though Grin

OP posts:
MrsJamin · 04/03/2016 19:20

Texts with kisses is a great sign! When can you see him again? Are you away on business all weekend? This is like waiting for the next episode on your favourite TV series!

Thisisnotausername · 04/03/2016 19:24

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MairzyDoats · 04/03/2016 19:47

D'awww :)

Sallyingforth · 04/03/2016 21:29

I'm glad he knows where the button is :)

candykane25 · 04/03/2016 21:35

Aw. The early dating with me and my DH was so lovely. Now it's mostly nappy and potty training talk...

PandoesnotwearRaphaclothes · 04/03/2016 21:57

right, Caught up with it all now. I love the first nerves and butterflies and all, but as a bloke do not be surprised with a degree of slight hesitancy?
I absolutely see the FUCK FUCK FUCK thing from his text. But he will need a bit of stewing. In his own head. Now is the time to be cool, for you.
You're out there. Make him work for you.
ifswim Wink
.

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 22:23

Night MN Wink x

OP posts:
PandoesnotwearRaphaclothes · 04/03/2016 22:32

ah...no stewing needed, Wink

hope breakfast is nice,,,

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 22:49

^ We're about 300 miles apart, to clarify! My breakfast will be around 6am and alone. Working weekend. All in good time...

OP posts:
MintyChops · 04/03/2016 23:10

Yay! Well done for being brave and God bless Rigby & Peller.....

bornwithaplasticspoon · 04/03/2016 23:12

Definitely keep the texts between the two of you. As much as we'd all like a gawp Grin I think some things need to be private

SternlyVoice · 05/03/2016 00:01

Ooh, this is so exciting!

I was madly in love with a friend at university and was too afraid to say anything. Afterwards, I emigrated and we lost touch. But no one else ever compared with him and it took me about 10 years to consider other men. And although happily married now, I do often wonder amout the "what if".

Crossing everything for you OP and looking forward to further updates

oldlaundbooth · 05/03/2016 00:28

Playroom?

Are you Upper Class, OP? (loving the idea of a rom com in a stately manor)

usual · 05/03/2016 00:39

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GiddyOnZackHunt · 05/03/2016 00:40

You know what Rain? We're all hoping for a fairytale but don't feel obliged to play this out for us. It's a slow burn converting friendship to romance.
Just keep the list for hat buying and mystery wedding crashers,

usual · 05/03/2016 00:43

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goingtobeawesome · 05/03/2016 09:20

Don't forget he is playing catch up. You've known for a while you wanted more. He didn't have a clue.