Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to fall for a very old friend?

531 replies

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 27/02/2016 00:08

So I can't talk to my IRL friends about this as we are a close knit group and I'm worried about it going wrong. But I am in a bit of a pickle.

I recently met up with a man I have been friends with for years but for one reason or another, haven't seen for the last couple of years. We have been out for dinner and/or drinks about 5 times in the last couple of weeks, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends.

The time before last we were mistaken for a couple by a drunk old boy trying to make conversation. Neither of us corrected him - keen to escape - but I kind of glowed when he referred to me as 'your lady', to my friend. When we left I was suddenly overwhelmed with an urge to kiss him goodbye. (I bottled it and kissed his cheek. Unusual for us as we are both very reserved and a bit awkward.)

We ran into each other last night and had a drink. I had bailed on a very big fancy party, and he was surprised but pleased to see me. I went home at the end of the night and kept waking up in the night trying to make sense of it all.

We are around the same age, he is a little older, and both single. He is painfully shy (I think he has only had one serious girlfriend) and I have a (frankly undeserved) reputation as being a bit of a slapper. We share interests, can sit and talk all night, text almost every day. I don't want to jump him - he would run for the hills - but I can't shake the quiet realisation that I may be falling in love with my kind, shy, gentle friend.

Where do I go from here?

OP posts:
OTheHugeManatee · 04/03/2016 10:11

Hooray!

extralemonylemoncake · 04/03/2016 10:17

But...but is it a go?

Ask him to be more specific please!

Yep, I'm with Walter here. He hasn't really said much yet, has he?

Annecyinyourpantsy · 04/03/2016 10:40

Need a further update OP when you see he again! Well done Flowers

SugarDiabetes · 04/03/2016 10:47

Oooh possibilities!

doughnutslikefannys · 04/03/2016 10:52

I'm far too invested in this thread!

ShesGotLionsInHerHeart · 04/03/2016 10:54

Yes, I agree, I want some sort of declaration!

They were some WORDY texts going on, I'm not 100% what's happening now!

Craftycakey15 · 04/03/2016 10:55

So happy for you! This is so romantic!

Sallyingforth · 04/03/2016 11:09

I think we you will learn much more when you next meet, which will hopefully be very soon.
It's much too early to say you are now an item, but the vital thing is that you have broken the ice. At the very least you can now be more relaxed about your real feelings for each other. Good luck!

BikeRunSki · 04/03/2016 11:20

Ooh! I have just found this thread and haven't rtft but, her is the voice of hindsight.... JFDI!!!!

I once had a friend like this. For a couple of years we also worked together. When he left work to go to a new job abroad (Hong Kong of all places!) I was designated driver for his leaving do. Approximately 20 hrs before he left the country he asked "why aren't you coming too?". "Because you never asked!!!!!". I was 23 with no commitments at all other than a months notice on my flat and a week on my job!!!! I would have gone too....

That was 20 years ago. Been happily married to someone else for 16 years now, but Hong Kong Guy will always be my "one that got away" and will always be at the back of my deepest memories. I occassionally Google him/FB search. He's got a fairly normal name so it's hard to be sure if I find him, but I obviously know what his profession is which narrows it down a lot.

On the other hand my DBro jumped a girl he'd known for 20 years at a mutual friend's 40thband got married 2 years later.

TattyCat · 04/03/2016 12:03

Lovely!

I have to laugh though - how many people on these threads would say "what? read a chicklit book? me? Never!" Grin Grin Grin

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 04/03/2016 12:18

Any more texting, op?

PandoesnotwearRaphaclothes · 04/03/2016 12:27

Missed out last few days of this thread. I love a rom-com!Grin

Shamelessly place-marking whilst I catch up.

Clobbered · 04/03/2016 13:23

Ooh, great catch-up!
Awaiting next instalment :)

TheFridgePickersKnickers · 04/03/2016 13:42

So when are you seeing him next? Please let it be this weekend - my life is as dull as dishwater and I need the next instalmentGrin

MrsArthurShappey · 04/03/2016 14:10

Heart-cockles suitably warmed. Love this thread Grin

gruffaloshmuffalo · 04/03/2016 14:24

Genuinely went "eee" all excited for you. I've only just seen the thread!

WeiAnMeokEo · 04/03/2016 15:41

Awwww this is the loveliest!!

Cockles warmed. So many good things being sent your way!

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 17:08

I agree it's hardly a bodice ripper so sorry to disappoint anyone who was expecting an all-nighter in the playroom but hey, I've been grinning all day. I told him, he didn't run away. We're both cautious, I guess. I'm away for a few days but we will see each other when I'm back and go from there..! But AFAIK you don't let someone down gently by suggesting a holiday together Grin

If nothing else I sodding told him, and can now stop with the 'agonising' chapter and move into the 'come here and fucking snog me then' bit... Grin

And good healthy amount of texts today. Possibly far more than usual Grin. Gonna be a slow burn this one...but am happy to have not fucked up our friendship for a start Grin

OP posts:
ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 17:09

Disclaimer the only 'playroom' I have belongs to my 6 year old DS

OP posts:
stealtheatingtunnocks · 04/03/2016 17:12

I've never understood Playrooms.

Would need a lot of pledge for all that leather. Who could be arsed? well, obviously, that is probably a verb in a playroom

texting today - jolly, flirty, upbeat, not overly long?

EllsTeeth · 04/03/2016 17:16

Away for a few days OP?! Nooooooo!!! We need to know what happens when next you meet, and soon!!

TheFridgePickersKnickers · 04/03/2016 17:24

OMG. Well that's my weekend dull as then!! Humph.
How long a few days? Grin

Sallyingforth · 04/03/2016 18:03

That caravan holiday sounds very cosy OP.

I hope your DS is a heavy sleeper :)

Tate15 · 04/03/2016 18:04

I've not read the thread entirely, just the beginning and the last page and want to wish you every happiness if this works out for you both.

For me the mistakes I've made in relationships have been loving but not liking them, if that makes sense! If I hadn't been in a relationship with my last ex I would have never have been just a friend of his. It's so important to like someone as well as love them. At almost 50, I may have realised that too late.

Memom · 04/03/2016 18:17

Well done for being brave and actually telling him how you feel. Shyness can be a pig sometimes!

You've waited this long, so however long it takes eh. Enjoy!