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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to fall for a very old friend?

531 replies

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 27/02/2016 00:08

So I can't talk to my IRL friends about this as we are a close knit group and I'm worried about it going wrong. But I am in a bit of a pickle.

I recently met up with a man I have been friends with for years but for one reason or another, haven't seen for the last couple of years. We have been out for dinner and/or drinks about 5 times in the last couple of weeks, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends.

The time before last we were mistaken for a couple by a drunk old boy trying to make conversation. Neither of us corrected him - keen to escape - but I kind of glowed when he referred to me as 'your lady', to my friend. When we left I was suddenly overwhelmed with an urge to kiss him goodbye. (I bottled it and kissed his cheek. Unusual for us as we are both very reserved and a bit awkward.)

We ran into each other last night and had a drink. I had bailed on a very big fancy party, and he was surprised but pleased to see me. I went home at the end of the night and kept waking up in the night trying to make sense of it all.

We are around the same age, he is a little older, and both single. He is painfully shy (I think he has only had one serious girlfriend) and I have a (frankly undeserved) reputation as being a bit of a slapper. We share interests, can sit and talk all night, text almost every day. I don't want to jump him - he would run for the hills - but I can't shake the quiet realisation that I may be falling in love with my kind, shy, gentle friend.

Where do I go from here?

OP posts:
sillyoldfool · 04/03/2016 00:11

No you are not. Whatever the outcome you will be so glad you sent that text in a few years time.

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 00:12

Ha. Bottle of wine plus extra glass plus 3 double gins plus vodka shot = surprising amount of courage.

Bedtime. Teary, terrified, at least its out there but jesus i should have just taken his sodding hand.

OP posts:
Iambubbles86 · 04/03/2016 00:12

At risk of building hopes how great would it be if he knocked on the door right now Grin

sillyoldfool · 04/03/2016 00:13

Oh that would be rather wonderfully like a high grant movie Wink

GiddyOnZackHunt · 04/03/2016 00:14

There's a meme :) You only regret the things you didn't do.
The regret ball bounced into his court.
It took 4 days until my umpire called 'Ace!'

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 00:14

ha bubbles I am a world of streaking mascara, snot, flabby nudity and my duvet. We would have A BLAST.

OP posts:
Iambubbles86 · 04/03/2016 00:15

Yeah, and in reality he sounds like quite a shy bloke so unlikely to happed even if he does feel the same way but like others have said try to get some rest and hopefully you will wake up to a lovely text saying what took you so long

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 00:16

I literally fleetingly contemplated running across a roundabout to just fucking snog him.

OP posts:
candykane25 · 04/03/2016 00:17

That is so romantic :)

Iambubbles86 · 04/03/2016 00:18

Well think of it this way, if your ill and had snogged him u could have made him ill, you were just being considerate. Next time....

MillionToOneChances · 04/03/2016 00:24

Must. Stop. Refreshing.

pictures OP compulsively checking phone

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 00:28

BAAAAHHHHH.

Right, distracting myself with shit telly and more gin safe in the knowledge that tomorrow I will be hundreds of miles away up to my guts in work.

Shoulda fucking kissed him.

OP posts:
ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 00:31

I mean coz obviously watching The Bill/Birds Of A Feather/Pie In The Sky while blowing my nose and sobbing into the cuffs of my beige Primark dressing gown was exactly how I imagined tonight ending.

OP posts:
MillionToOneChances · 04/03/2016 00:32

Yeah, but that's incredibly hard to do with someone you've been friends with for years. I'd have bottled it and texted after, too. In fact, I did bottle it and text after when I was in a similar situation. He was extremely glad I did. We went out for two years after that and then returned to being friends. I'm very glad I texted.

WhoaCadburys · 04/03/2016 00:34

Oh come in OP, just call him. I have things to do, dogs to let out, just call him and get it over with Grin

TheFridgePickersKnickers · 04/03/2016 00:43

OMG. I can't sleep either. You have to update us as soon as he replies......Grin

TattyCat · 04/03/2016 00:46

Just found this - I'm invested!! And placemarking, obviously Grin

ohtheholidays · 04/03/2016 00:48

You text him though OP that was really brave and I hope it all works out for you Smile

Me and my DH were friends first,we met online and when he sent me a text telling me he liked me liked me,I panicked at first Big Time! But then he rang me within a few minutes of the text and said I'm sorry please ignore me I would rather just be your friend than loose you from my life forever.

He'd said just the right thing at just the right time.That one sentance just blew me away and it changed both or our lives forever.We've been together ever since,10 years now and a family together.
I'm so pleased that he took the initiative Smile

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 00:52

I will update as soon as i know anything.

god i should have kissed him. i'm such a dick.

OP posts:
LeaLeander · 04/03/2016 00:54

Hope it works out!

TattyCat · 04/03/2016 00:55

No, you've done it the right way!

ClarenceTheLion · 04/03/2016 00:56

Best of luck!

MillionToOneChances · 04/03/2016 00:56

It will be no consolation at all that I imagine that if you had run after him it would have gone something like this, starting at 2 minutes...

I need to get a life and stop living vicariously

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 01:20

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

HE REPLIED

GrinGrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
Alisanf · 04/03/2016 01:25

And????!!!!

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