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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to fall for a very old friend?

531 replies

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 27/02/2016 00:08

So I can't talk to my IRL friends about this as we are a close knit group and I'm worried about it going wrong. But I am in a bit of a pickle.

I recently met up with a man I have been friends with for years but for one reason or another, haven't seen for the last couple of years. We have been out for dinner and/or drinks about 5 times in the last couple of weeks, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends.

The time before last we were mistaken for a couple by a drunk old boy trying to make conversation. Neither of us corrected him - keen to escape - but I kind of glowed when he referred to me as 'your lady', to my friend. When we left I was suddenly overwhelmed with an urge to kiss him goodbye. (I bottled it and kissed his cheek. Unusual for us as we are both very reserved and a bit awkward.)

We ran into each other last night and had a drink. I had bailed on a very big fancy party, and he was surprised but pleased to see me. I went home at the end of the night and kept waking up in the night trying to make sense of it all.

We are around the same age, he is a little older, and both single. He is painfully shy (I think he has only had one serious girlfriend) and I have a (frankly undeserved) reputation as being a bit of a slapper. We share interests, can sit and talk all night, text almost every day. I don't want to jump him - he would run for the hills - but I can't shake the quiet realisation that I may be falling in love with my kind, shy, gentle friend.

Where do I go from here?

OP posts:
HeffalumpHistory · 03/03/2016 23:36

Fuck sake! By the time I posted it was all over.

Sorry rain!
I've always been a fan of the drunken & truthful text though. You rarely regret it (or remember it) in the morning. DO IT

Grapejuicerocks · 03/03/2016 23:40

I've got to go to sleep.
For God sake text him op. You have 5 minutes.

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 03/03/2016 23:47

Have text

OP posts:
PirateSmile · 03/03/2016 23:48

What did you say?

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 03/03/2016 23:48

SHIT IVE SENT THE FUCKING TEXT

OP posts:
Noneedtoworry · 03/03/2016 23:50

Please don't feel sad op, you sound fun and lovely and I'm certain he deserves you. If not tonight another night. It will happen if it is meant to (and you can be a bit brave!)

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 03/03/2016 23:50

"Thankyou for a lovely evening.

I know I don't seem shy and my (frankly undeserved) reputation precedes me, but I really wish I had the courage to hold your hand or tell you how I feel. There's a lot to say - and ultimately I know I haven't always behaved well - but mainly that I am a big girl and would rather have you as a friend putting the world to rights over a beer than lose you for the sake of an ill-judged lunge on my part.

I was just about plucking up a handhold when Random Guy joined us. Sorry if this comes out of the blue and I hope it doesn't fuck up our friendship - I can put a lid on it - but I have to just be honest with you.

And if you just want to be friends that's totally cool, you're an awesome friend and I'd count myself lucky. But damn I can't keep wondering - you deserve better than me, I'm a charlatan, a mess, but I had to let you know sometime.

X"

OP posts:
ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 03/03/2016 23:53

(staring at phone like a batshit terrified twat)

OP posts:
cattychatty · 03/03/2016 23:53

I'm hand holding I'm totally over invested

vikingpooboat · 03/03/2016 23:54

Armagh has he replied??

Noneedtoworry · 03/03/2016 23:54

Well done rain! Hope you don't have to wait too long for an answer :)

vikingpooboat · 03/03/2016 23:55

That should have said..argggh Blush

MillionToOneChances · 03/03/2016 23:55

Apart from being massively self-critical, good work! Agog to see what he replies...

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 03/03/2016 23:58

((still staring at phone. chewing my lip so hard its bleeding. we said goodbye and i literally did that cliche 'watching him walk away' thing. I don't expect a reply tonight, I'm gonna try to sleep it off and stop munching holes in my lip.

FUCKS SAKE.))

OP posts:
PirateSmile · 03/03/2016 23:59

I bet he's asleep!

MillionToOneChances · 04/03/2016 00:01

I bet he's asleep too. Or banging his head against a wall somewhere because he walked away.

candykane25 · 04/03/2016 00:02

Well done rain !
It's out now, what will be, will be.

Fingers crossed!

Hushabyelullaby · 04/03/2016 00:05

I'd been in bed for 10 mins when I remembered this post and just had to come and see. Well done on your text OP, brilliantly put. Good on you for having the guts to tell him how you feel. I so hope everything works out for you both.

Am dying to find out what he says.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 04/03/2016 00:06

He's probably gone to sleep.
Or he may be dithering about replying.
Are you Trollied enough to go to bed and sleep? If so, do that. If he says yes then you're cool. If he says wtf then you say omg what was I doing?!
Turn phone off. Go to bed and concentrate on how many random women give a shit about your love life. And at least one of whom has stayed up drinking more wine than she should because :)

Iambubbles86 · 04/03/2016 00:07

Am literally shaking with anticipation for you. (I may be slightly over invested). Your text was very good by the way, I can't even text that calibre sober let alone drunk Grin

Ludoole · 04/03/2016 00:08

I sooooo hope he replies im so over invested in this thread
RAIN, You deserve him and he deserves you. Just believe it!!!!
+

ThisRainWasOnceTheSea · 04/03/2016 00:08

I'm such a useless twat.

OP posts:
Iambubbles86 · 04/03/2016 00:10

No you are not. You are a brave and confident woman and regardless of the outcome you should be proud that you took this step!

MillionToOneChances · 04/03/2016 00:10

You're not a useless twat. You sound lovely. Now, over invested though I am go get some sleep so you look rested when he falls at your feet tomorrow Wink

GiddyOnZackHunt · 04/03/2016 00:10

No. You aren't.
Go to bed. We'll talk tomorrow. Night night
(BTW I'm Jeremy from upthread but have reverted to my usual name)