To think my daughter is taking me for a mug?

[WhatstheT]

I could post this in parenting... but I'd barely get a reply.

I'm really struggling with my daughter and her not being independent around me.

I work full time and my daughter has been in nursery since 9 months old. She's at nursery 8am til 1pm then my partner picks her up. Since the day she started nursery she has refused a bottle and milk, she would only have water in a sippy cup. At around the same time I started offering her a sippy cup at home with meals, and she wouldn't touch them. She's now 1 years old and I've persisted with this to no avail. We have about 8 different types of cup. She spent one week at about 11 months old proudly sipping water from them at mealtimes, but then stopped again. She just picks them up and throws them, or tips them upside down and pours all the water or milk out.

On saturday she had a morning bottle, then at 10am she wanted a drink again, so I put some milk in one sippy cup, water in another, offered both to a massive shake of the head. I left it until 3pm with constant crying and whinging for a drink. Everytime she asked I placed the sippy cup infront of her, and that would make her worse. I also put a sippy cup in her pram on the table at the front when we go out. Eventually at teatime I ended up having to give her a bottle before bed, she was screaming to the point of gagging. She also won't have a bottle with large or variflow teats now... only slow flowing number ones.... I just don't get it.

I've spoken to nursery about it and she takes a sippy cup without a fuss, picks it up and drinks it. (we have the same one as nursery too)

I know persistence is the way forward, but she will go all day not touching any liquid until I put it in a bottle. I also don't understand her one week of using any sippy cup I gave her and just giving up.

She is the same with feeding too. Feeds herself with a spoon at nursery, but at home I have to put the food on a spoon and pass it to her (or she hand feeds if it isn't a runny food) If I put the spoon in the bowl and leave it for her, she screams and throws it on the floor.

I know she's playing with me, because I know all the things I'm encouraging she can do!. It's becoming daft that she can't drink at home without leaning back or lying down with her bottle (I won't cradle her with one anymore) I'm stuck for what to do! There's plenty of other things she only does with me too (screaming when I open a door or looking like I'm leaving, cries when I enter a room, I'm her personal climbing frame...etc. all separation stuff)

Can you still get those 'Brown's' bottles with the kink in them so you don't have to try and lean back while feeding her?

Ok, it's not brown, I can't remember the brand and, note to self, don't put 'kink' into google.

Shit man if people implied I was a shit parent i would have flipped out too.
Wottodo was particularly aggressive towards op.
If she had posted that towards me of course you are gonna get het up.

Hello. I am the op.

First of all I would like to apologise to my outburst thus morning. Wasn't directed at everyone. I deleted my account I was that upset by the assumptions made about me but I thought since so many people have put effort into replying I shold just explain myself.

Title - being taken for a mug was supposed to be a light hearted pun (mug, cup) clearly I'm not funny.

The reason I mentioned I don't cradle my daughter is not because I am restrictive with her but I assumed I may have some comments about comforting. She hates being cradled. Just likes to either climb on me or be attached to my hip stood up.

I am by no means cold or restrictive qith my daughter. She has a dummy, her favourite blanket, and from the moment I am home from work we are attached and she is my world for every moment I am home.

I have never tried to impose rules on her. She still wakes up frequently at night, she's only just left our bedroom and I'm up every morning with her between 3 and 4am and never begrudge it.

I decided to try and look for advice on moving onto the sippy cup because she is so eager with one at nursery and spent a while week at home using one.

My comment about her independence wasnt a complaint. It was just an additional comment to explain it's not the only way she reverts when I'm home with her.

I baby wear I never make her cry anything out and I never deprived her of fluids. I offered them regularly.

When people want to wean their baby off dummies or stop them waking at night nobody seems to tell a parent "shame on them" for thinking it's the right time.

I get 3 hours sleep a night max if I'm lucky. No parents to really look for advice from and I'm as clueless as they come. But I never expecting to be shamed and told I am depriving my daughter of love and affection.

It's my own fault for posting on aibu. But I was only looking for help as I'm sure most mums had some kind of method qhen finally getting around to using cups. I'd have never attempted the transition if she'd have shown no interest and have no intention of removing her dummy or blanket.

It's not that I expected everyone to agree with me I just didn't expect fellow mums to be so judgemental on the love and affection they think I have for my hold based on one post.

I am so sorry you got a flaming.

You shouldn't have had to come back and explain everything down to the last letter. I'm sorry people have been so horrendous, this thread is one of a few that are making me question whether I actually want to use this forum.
I hope you got some good advice and you find a good solution for you and your DD.

There was no need for your flaming you were looking for advice which is a next stage in development how do i get her to drink from a cup she does at nursery a perfectly normal question you were clearly joking about the taken for a mug

Sorry about the typos. On a bus on the way home from work and I have penis fingers on this thing at the best of times :)

Shpuld a have also said thanks to those who shared their situation with me and gave advice or empathy.

Decides I'm going to out the cups in cupboard for now leave her a week on bottles and then get them out again in a week. And see if the novelty returns :)

That's the trouble with parenting, we get all sorts of advice and think 'my dc should be doing such and such because they're this age' but actually every child is truly different. What works for one parent and child won't for another.

I'm on second child and have basically gone with the flow this time, following my baby's lead and it's muuuuch easier! Baby led weaning led me to purees. I've 'made a rod for my own back' feeding on demand past 6 months. But it's just right and comfortable and we're all happy so that's the aim....not what you think you should do but what makes you both happy.

By all means try things out, but if you get resistance I beyond what is reasonable then it's not time. Apply to: feeding, sleeping, toilet training, walking, etc etc etc. They soon get to the stage when they are ready. Second time round has taught me not to rush things because I know it will happen, just not yet. And that's ok.

Hi OP, glad you're back! I thought your first post was perfectly clear - I have no idea why some people came looking for a fight.

Anyway, that's by the by, good luck with your dd. My ds won't pick up his straw cup when he's with me; he just opens his mouth and stares at it and I have to slide it along his highchair tray until the straw's just under his mouth. He picks it up fine for nursery, and his dad who thinks it's hilarious to watch me be bossed around by the baby :D

I've never really followed rules or recommendations she didn't eat solids until 7.5 months. Didn't crawl til late but now she's walking. I just leave her to it but with the sippy cup I thought it seemed right.

The reason I decided to push it more was we went to her nursery the other night as they've decided to move her into the toddler room early based on her abilities and they came to show us the room and asked us what we think. They said there won't be any snack times anymore just fresh fruit left out and sippy cups are just left for them to drink as they wish. They seemed to think that she was more than ready for that and I was surprised because she won't touch her cups at home. They said heave had her in the room a few times now and she just walks over drinks and carries on. Little monkey. Guess she's just not ready at home. I'll wait a while

Hi OP, I was one of the posters who was shocked at the posts directed at you this morning when I read. Its such a shame you've felt the need to come on and explain yourself when you so clearly only wanted a bit of help and advice in the first instance.
Anyone reading your posts could understand the reasons you wanted her to go to a cup were because you believe its best for her (she does at nursery and has in the past at home, and drinking from the bottle doesn't seem to physically benefit in the way she takes in air etc)

It's poss for the best to wait and try again, hope it all works out for you sooner rather than later xxx

Don't worry! Dd is 2 and still has a bottle at home. She resists any other drinking receptacle even though she drinks from a sippy cup at nursery! I'm too ashamed yo tell anyone irl!

I ended up getting 1 of mine a drinking flask thing where the spout pulled up then moved onto sports bottles i bought a million and 1 sippy cups

Glad you came back op and agree some of the comments directed at you were very ott.

As I posted earlier my dds were always cuter at pushing my buttons than my dss were.

This Age is relentless and hard and it can seem a bloody thankless uphill battle. We all feel like that. Honestly.

This cup/bottle situation will pass. Another will come.

My oldest ds has just become s dad and we are enjoying the show.

One of my teen dds is orange today and has blue hair, it's a combination I tell uou

Other teen dd has had her tragus pierced. Thankfully that's her ear.! I was worried

Op it gets easier and more fun. Honestly. Don't stress about the small stuff although I know it's hard.

Keep posting and keep your pecker up.

And helps.

Are you a single mum? Because you sound like you're on your own. And I'd take what nursery says with. A pinch of salt. I'd ask for help with assessment for separation and eating with the local health visitor. Moat babies like their time by themselves, so try not to hold her only when she sleeps. It's ok to sleep with your toddler. Finally, she gets the socialisation in nursery. She loves her mummy time.

It's bloody hard work, but never stop thinking that you are an amazing mother. Your daughter obviously thinks so.

Have a chat with your health visitor for reassurance.

No I'm not a single mum :)

Nursery are more than bang on qith their assessment of her they send me videos of her drinking, walking, talking (not said a word at home yet lol)

Was really just looking for a bit of advice on moving her onto cups as she's so into them as nursery. Nursery said there was no convincing with them she just picked up and went with it .

I'll just leave her to it and try again in a week or so :)

I just laughed at bossy baby up thread. Op just see how it goes leave the cup lying about see if she pick s it up

Oh honey, she's just looking for attention from you. She goes to nursery for half the day and then your partner has her. She wants you to sit down with her and treat her like a little tiny person, your little tiny person ... which she is!

Can you possibly humour her and sit with her and feed her if that's what she's looking for? It won't last forever. It really won't. And if you're sitting with her, she may start to pick up food and feed herself more with you there, too.

I sit with her from 4pm when I get home til bed time. Then I sit with her through her constant wakings. We play and have a wonderful time together. As I've said she doesn't want feeding or cradling by me. She wants to feed herself sat up. Whig causes her frustration because she can't with her bottle but she won't entertain the cup.

I'm offended people think they need to tell me my daughter needs my love and attention. Of course she does. And she gets it every moment I don't work.

This is what she does. If I take the bottle she cries, if I move her she cries, if I try and cradle she cries, so I have to make hwr angry and move her into a position leaning on a cushion to feed herself.

Tonight you are making the dinner for you and your partner. They can sit with her. Go into the kitchen and put your favourite music on, and make a meal for you to share.

I so get the 'apron strings' child, they are both wonderful and frustrating in equal measures.

You need your sleep and she needs to understand boundaries in a home she obviously feels loved in.

I do feel for you in this transition. A few months from now? Hopefully it will be resolved.

Thank you elendon :)

Hello OP

I read your OP and thought "this woman is going to get slaughtered here!"

I know it sounds patronising but try not to sweat it. Take the path of least resistance and know that this is just a phase and this too shall pass.

My DD2 has a very clingy stage too at around that age. It soon wears thin doesn't it? No matter how much you love them

You sound like a lovely caring mom. Trust your instincts, take care of yourself as well and you won't go far wrong