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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really want a fuss for my first mothers day.

85 replies

Picnic2223 · 22/02/2016 18:26

Hi,
This year will be my first mothers day abd I really want a bit of a fuss.

I'm not sure my DH will pull out any stops as his mum only gets a card if I buy it.

Aibu to remind him about it or maybe ask a friend to have a word.

I'm not talking about a bit present just a nice family day with the baby.

OP posts:
Allgunsblazing · 22/02/2016 18:27

Make sure you spell out your expectations very clearly :)

TeaBelle · 22/02/2016 18:30

I agree - what is your idea of a nice family day? If you want to go out then say to dh 'these places look good for Mother's Day, do you want me to pre-book tickets or will you?'. If you want a meal then ask him if he wants you to get the food or will he. I was guilty of just hoping last year, and was disappointed - no card / acknowledgment. I was honestly heartbroken. But on reflection our expectations for the day were very different so I was partially to blame too.

jelliebelly · 22/02/2016 18:30

You are setting him up to fail unless you are very clear with him about your expectations - my dh is generally brilliant with birthdays etc but I always make a point of reminding him when Mother's Day is!

NinaSimoneful · 22/02/2016 18:34

Yanbu and congratulations Flowers

If your DH can't be relied upon to organise something then arrange it yourself. Hopefully from this year on he'll have more of a clue as to what you want but for this yet tell him. Breakfast in bed, nice flowers, restaurant, bottle of wine, massage... Whatever you're into.

DelphiniumBlue · 22/02/2016 18:34

Hope you have a lovely first Mother's Day.
You might need to be explicit about what you actually want, as in " I'm so looking forward to mothers day, which is on Sunday week (or whenever it is). I'd love to go to xxxxxx and then to xxxx for tea, can I leave it to you to book, as it does get busy that day. For my breakfast in bed, I'd love to have xxxxxc."
You might not get exactly what you want, but you'll have flagged up your expectations.
As you've said he doesn't even sort his own mum a card, I think he probably won't get that its important to you unless you tell him very clearly!

goodnightdarthvader1 · 22/02/2016 18:34

I do too Blush

princessconsuelabannahammock · 22/02/2016 18:34

This first mother's day will be the template for all others so start as you mean to go on. Spell it out in great detail. My Hubby's mother only gets a card and flowers as I do it or nag him into submission, so I was very clear on my expectations when we had our kids and he is getting better.

maxoverload · 22/02/2016 18:55

no you anbu. for my exs first fathers day i bought him loads of lovely gifts and really went to a lot of effort. first mothers day i got a card and thats all ive ever had. usualy a week late aswel. i agree with princess, set the template now. hope you have a lovely first mothers day.

cansu · 22/02/2016 19:17

To be honest u sound a bit precious. Surely when your dc are old enough they will make u breakfast and nice card. You are not your partner s mum!

Cutecat78 · 22/02/2016 19:17

I don't remember my first Mother's Day.

Why not just try and enjoy all the special moments of your child's life?

MrsHathaway · 22/02/2016 19:56

Not even slightly unreasonable to be explicit about your wishes.

"What are we doing for Mother's Day? I'd really like to do something special because it's my first one as a mother. Shall I book for lunch or do you have something planned already? Don't forget that my card from DD needs to say Mummy not Mum. And I like Milk Tray, not Galaxy."

Original poster
Picnic2223 · 22/02/2016 19:58

Thanks for the replies ladies, I will have a chat with him too see if we can plan something.

cansu maybe I am precious any reason I shouldn't be Wink

OP posts:
MyCatIsTryingToKillMe · 22/02/2016 19:58

My first Mother's Day was a week after having DS1. I didn't so much as get a cup of tea made for me let alone a card or flowers or any fuss. Yes, I did cry by the end of the day but my defence was a massive load of postnatal hormones.

AutumnLeavesArePretty · 22/02/2016 20:11

I wonder if dads are so demanding for Father's Day Hmm

A one year old has no concept of Mother's Day so a card and cuddles should be more than enough. It's not wife's day and you are not your husbands mum.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 22/02/2016 20:16

Tell him. Don't set him up to fail by saying nothing then being upset

Dp comes from a family that doesn't celebrate birthdays, anniversaries sect , he truly doesn't understand why people celebrate. I told him it meant a lot to me and so he pulls something out of the bag for mine or the kids occasions even if he doesn't understand why.

Alibabsandthe40Musketeers · 22/02/2016 20:18

If you want to have a nice day to remember then you need to make a plan.

I have no idea what I did on my first mother's day, can't remember at all. I'm sure we did something.. :D

Chocolatteaddict1 · 22/02/2016 20:19

I've already told Dh what would like because the first year wasn't that great. I spoil him on fathers day so I'd like it back in return. It doesn't have to be expensive but a nudge in the right direction is fine Grin

breezydoesit · 22/02/2016 20:20

YANBU but I read a thread on here last week where a woman was castigated as high maintenance for "putting an order in" for an Easter egg! Hmm Who wants a shit Easter egg?

Ubik1 · 22/02/2016 20:28

I wish everyone would spell out their expectations fur Mother's Day just to save all the whining later.

I'm demanding afternoon tea at home wuth cakes and sandwiches nice cheese and crackers, scones and Prosecco Smile

Chocolatteaddict1 · 22/02/2016 20:30

Ah breezy my first Easter egg of Dh had edible gold leaf on if. 'Twas amazing .

sooperdooper · 22/02/2016 20:32

Can't any day be a nice family day? Why wait until hallmark decides it's mothers day :)

Wardrobespierre · 22/02/2016 20:32

I'm not DH's Mum so expect nothing from him. Likewise, he arranges stuff for his Mum while I do mine.

I guess it just depends on your perception of the day. I think it's a load of commercial squit but other people seem quite taken with it.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 22/02/2016 20:32

Ooh totally expect a big Lindt egg with the little bunny in the box every easter too

Chocolatteaddict1 · 22/02/2016 20:38

wardrobe does your Dh not get you anything of your DC ?

sooper every day a family day here! I don't mind hallmark making one day all about meeeeeeee Wink (apart from my birthday and shit goes down then!)

majestic Cosco has large Lindt bunnies 😍

Notagainmun · 22/02/2016 20:40

I don't agree with, "I am not his mother" I am the mother of his children and therefore deserve some appreciation, just as I show him on Father's Day.