To really want a fuss for my first mothers day.

[Picnic2223]

Hi,
This year will be my first mothers day abd I really want a bit of a fuss.

I'm not sure my DH will pull out any stops as his mum only gets a card if I buy it.

Aibu to remind him about it or maybe ask a friend to have a word.

I'm not talking about a bit present just a nice family day with the baby.

I still remember how hurt I was one year, to be completely overlooked. Stick a note on the fridge every year, as a reminder for DH. When DC goes to school, their lovely teachers will ensure that you're not forgotten.

picnic sorry for calling you precious but you have way higher expectations than me.

Mother's Day and Father's Day in this house involves a card and a present of chocolate / wine. Whole things done in 10 minutes and then it's just a normal day.

Maybe I'm reading more into your op than there is, it sounded like you want the whole day focused on it being Mother's Day.
Sorry if I read the op wrong.

Congratulations.

My first as a mum too.

I have made a point of reminding my hubby it will be Mother's Day, it's my first so would like a fuss

Why have women suddenly become their dhs mothers.
I'm sorry, I know this is me, but it sounds so daft.

Why are you pushing them into doing something rather than letting them be.
Fair enough if it comes naturally to them, but if it doesn't is it that important?

Congratulations, you'll have lots of wonderful Mother's Day with your dc, it's lovely when they are a bit older

If you don't want a big present, what is it you have in mind? Surely every Sunday is a 'nice family day' when you have a 10 week old baby?

I don't remember much fuss about my first Mother's Day. I'm not my ex's mother so didn't expect him to do stuff. The best ages were 3-7 when they got excited by it. The kids used to keep changing the hiding place of my present convinced I'd go looking for it the moments their backs were turned! Now they're teenagers and if I get a card or text m lucky. My daughter makes a bit of an effort. I was fairly lax about getting my mum stuff as a student too though

I always feel sad reading all the posts on Mother's Day from all the upset posters because their partners didn't arrange anything. Not even a card or a cup of tea that they would have liked.
I think you should definitely let your expectations be known.

I wouldn't expect DP to do anything, why should he? He appreciates me every day. DS will do something when he's old enough! I think people set themselves up for a fall expecting stuff on Mothers day, Valentines etc. If you really want something then spell it out like others have said.. It just doesn't register on many mens/womens minds.

Bring back Mothering Sunday, not this Hallmark Mothers' Day crap.

I want to know when it seemed to become de rigeur for husbands to do something for their wives on Mothering Sunday when their offspring were too small to do it themselves? Yes, their wives or partners are now mothers but it's about offspring recognising it.

This sort of thing never used to happen when I was growing up - I'm now 41 - and I've just asked around the office. All the women over 40 laughed and thought it madness.

When did it become acceptable to use Internet forums on work time?

still did any one in your office question your Internet usage?

No. Because I'm the manager/director. And in my workplace, I allow staff to use the internet for personal use (certain sites are blocked) as long as the work gets done. And a lot of what we do here requires us to keep an eye on what is going on in the world, or current trends, or discussions. But also because I value my staff and don't treat them like morons but as decent human beings and as a result, they are fab at their jobs and tend to stay for years and years.

But I'm not Richard Branson.

Good lord, there are some miseries here. So you don't want anything on Mother's Day. Ok, we get it!! Yanbu. But the op isn't being unreasonable for wanting a fuss either. And this whole 'you're not your partner's mother' thing is crap. What about when your five year old want to buy you a card and wants a lift into town and some money? Your oh says, 'I'm terribly sorry [name of child] but she's your mother not mine, so I won't be helping you with this'??!?!?? How's that different from buying a card or a present on behalf of a baby? And as for not reminding my dh that it might be nice to received something on Mother's Day and just leaving him to do what's natural, if I did that I would be sad because I would never receive a gift from him ever again and then he would feel sad because I am sad... No-one's a winner! Ok. Rant over.

Helping a five year old who asks is totally different from completely doing it for a baby who has no idea what's going on.

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore couldn't agree more! I am sure my 4 year old dd would do everything for me herself but she can't it's my DH job to help her show appreciation just like I do for Father's Day!

Mother's Day (and Father's Day) in the early years is more about your partner showing appreciation for the things you do for your family. You probably do need to make your feelings about this clear op to avoid disappointment. But the absolute best thing in the world is the first Mother's Day when your dc is able to bring you a card and a kiss/ cuddle or an "I love you Mummy". You have that to look forward to whatever happens this year!

I'm very much happy with a card for Mothers Day and birthdays, having a fuss makes me feel all flustered and self-conscious.

I spent my first Mothers Day in Emergency having half my little finger reattached after slicing it off while making an overambitious amount of baby food. It hurt like hell but I did have a big bag of MnMs in my bag to keep me occupied

I don't think either side is wrong if that what suits your family.

If you don't want any fuss and don't believe/want to get involved it that's fine, if you and your partner/husband like to make an extra fuss off each other on Mothering Sunday/Father's Day that's fine too.

It's strange how women come on to say that other mothers that like to have a fuss made over them are precious/needy/ridiculous yet I've not seen one post saying that mothers that don't like it/don't expect it/get fuck all are killjoys, Moodhooverers.

Maybe all the women over 40 in stills office are severely under appreciated and have become accustomed to getting fuck all and the younger generation expect a little bit more out of life!

I've just been and bought mil (who I'm NC with) lovely Mother's Day gifts because Dh is away with work. Should have I not bothered as she isn't my mother (thank Christ!)

Oh and in our house Mothering Sunday, father day, Easter and birthdays are day long affairs

I agree with you Chocolatteaddict1, I am getting a hammering on my own thread from others. But I do think it's the time to show a little appreciation for all I do for our family

I too am over 40. And have very early memories of sitting on the bedroom floor as Dad brought Mum breakfast in bed.

still

I left the thread yesterday wondering if it was a generational thing.
I feel sorry for the husbands tbh, surely them having to be something they aren't must have consequences for the marriage.
There is no way dh would expect me to do things for Father's day or any other day.
When dc were little we went to his mums for Mother's day, when ours grew a bit I had my own Mother's day with a handmade card.
I don't know any mum's in rl who are so expectant, wanting a fuss etc.
It sounds a bit weird, but each to their own.
I noticed it Valentine's day too, women believing and stating MY Valentines day, very amusing. erm, something for the men too?

Maybe new some couples enjoy being like this with eachother.

So you see - you don't need to feel sorry for my Dh because he gets spoiled too when it's Father's Day or his birthday or indeed valantines where we're both spoil each other. And tbh thousands of families are like this that's why the supermarkets are full of gifts on events like these because people enjoy them - right down to pancake day!

here have a and some and try and have a bit of enjoyment in your life!

We are supposed to go to church?!

but that would ruin my lie in

Chocolate - the supermarkets are full of gifts on these days because they have trained us to make big deals out of them in the commercial sense, rather than simple but heartfelt acknowledgements. Hallmark has a lot to answer for in the US and it came over here, too. We bought into it. If it wasn't commercial, supermarkets wouldn't charge more for roses around Valentine's Day than the rest of the year, nor restaurants and pubs charge more for meals on Valentine's Day (and, I have also known them up prices for Mothering Sunday lunches, too).

I'm not a killjoy, I just think we should show each other we care and be nice and appreciative of each other all the time, and not just make some commercial show on a couple of days.