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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that my pregnancy has been disclosed...

51 replies

Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 20:10

...by a key nursery worker to someone id rather did not know my business?! I dont want to give too many details, but surely a potential client's pregnancy should not be discussed by this worker outside of her work place?!

OP posts:
Iguessyourestuckwithme · 21/02/2016 20:14

So a nursery nurse from a nursery you looked around told someone you were pregnant - did they say you were pregnant? or did they say you were looking at the nursery?

Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 20:18

Yes basically this, although ive not even looked around yet! They have told said person I am pregnant

OP posts:
Earlyday · 21/02/2016 20:18

Well unless you told her you weren't telling people yet I imagine she thought it was ok to share.

DonkeyOaty · 21/02/2016 20:28

Very unprofessional. I would swing by and have a chat with the manager to express your displeasure.

TwistyBraStrap · 21/02/2016 20:30

They shouldn't be discussing you outside of the workplace. I'd put in a complaint tbh, it's completely unprofessional.

Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 20:32

When I say key worker, this is actually the manager! Surely it's confidential information?

OP posts:
HackerFucker22 · 21/02/2016 20:35

Im confused - Did you go to see nursery for child you are pregnant with?

Lweji · 21/02/2016 20:41

How did this person know you are pregnant?

ollieplimsoles · 21/02/2016 20:45

Hmm this happened to me and I was not happy (hospital staff disclosed info about my pregnancy I didn't want shared to my mil)

Did you mention in passing to the nursery worker you were pregnant? Are you not over 12 weeks yet?

Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 20:49

Sorry dont mean to confuse! There are two nurseries in my area, one of which I have booked a visit to look around for unborn child, the manager at the other branch (who dh and I bought house from 5 years ago but have never had anything to do with since! ) Has told my neighbour who she is pals with and who we do not speak to (whole new thread!) that im expecting. I am pretty fuming but dont know if im over-reacting.you can probably tell I live In a gossipy village but im 99% certain this is how my neighbour had found out.

Sorry for drip feeding but was worried about outing myself

OP posts:
BillSykesDog · 21/02/2016 20:53

How pregnant are you? If you're not showing then YANBU. If you're about to drop and obviously pregnant then YABU, she would have known if she'd seen you in the street, it would not have been privileged info from her job.

How far gone are you?

Birdsgottafly · 21/02/2016 20:54

I'd be surprised if she hasn't broke the businesses 'confidentiality practice'.

I would find out what their policy is and then act.

Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 20:56

Im 18 weeks and not showing at all, have only told close friends and family and wanted to keep it that way fir a while. Definitely did not want my nosey neighbour finding out from a virtual stranger (to me)

OP posts:
Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 20:57

That was my thinking bird, it's making me have 2nd thoughts on the nursery but there are not many options in my area

OP posts:
Lweji · 21/02/2016 20:58

Still not clear. The manager of the nursery you did not visit told your neighbour?

How did she find out?

And, quite honestly, what is the problem? Surely it can't be such a secret if you're visiting nurseries. Your neighbour could easily spot you at the GP going for antenatal appointments (how my SIL found out I was pregnant - but it wasn't a big secret, just getting to 12 weeks), shopping for baby clothes, etc.

BillSykesDog · 21/02/2016 20:59

YA definitely NBU then. Can you complain to the owners? That's bang out of order.

BillSykesDog · 21/02/2016 20:59

That's even before you're obliged to tell your work.

MarlenaGru · 21/02/2016 21:01

I really don't see the issue. If I knew someone was pregnant and someone asked after them I would probably mention it? If it was a healthcare professional then you are not being unreasonable but a nursery worker? And the care they can provide is unlikely to be linked to being a gossip. I found the manager of DD's nursery annoying but she has been incredible with the care of DD and that is all that matters.

PotteringAlong · 21/02/2016 21:02

How did the manager of the nursery you didn't visit know you are pregnant?

HackerFucker22 · 21/02/2016 21:06

Think I get it. You went to one 'branch' of this nursery and the worker is based at other branch but saw you visited (I guess from an appointment on a shared computer system) and told your neighbour

Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 21:07

She is the boss of my close friend who mentioned I was going to visit the other nursery, surely it's confidential conversation? It matters as I have only chosen to tell close friends and family

OP posts:
Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 21:08

Yes she could have seen me at gps but she would have had no idea why I was there

OP posts:
Iguessyourestuckwithme · 21/02/2016 21:08

I think you are being unreasonable. So what your neighbour knows - shell know soon enough as it is.

Lweji · 21/02/2016 21:09

So, your close friend didn't keep the secret and you're angry at her manager?

Iguessyourestuckwithme · 21/02/2016 21:11

No nits not a confidential conversation your friend told her boss about you looking at a nursery her boss (who used to own your house) then may have mentioned it in passing when she caught up with her old/your new neighbour. Ie Bean looked around the other nursery last week. Hoe fat along is she? How's she getting on? Nice to see the family home will have a new geneation in it.