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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that my pregnancy has been disclosed...

51 replies

Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 20:10

...by a key nursery worker to someone id rather did not know my business?! I dont want to give too many details, but surely a potential client's pregnancy should not be discussed by this worker outside of her work place?!

OP posts:
Shetland · 21/02/2016 21:16

It's your friend who's let the secret out, not the manager.

Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 21:17

The conversation would not have gone along those lines Iguess as my neighbour does not like me and she is a typical gossip

OP posts:
Pico2 · 21/02/2016 21:18

So one of your lose friends took a work colleague that you were pregnant. That sounds like a social rather than professional conversation. That she is manager at a local nursery doesn't sound relevant to how she found out.

Lweji · 21/02/2016 21:19

Yes, but you did not tell the manager, so your problem is with your friends.

DirtyHarrietOnABike · 21/02/2016 21:23

You are looking for a nursery for an unborn child? Wow!

BillSykesDog · 21/02/2016 21:24

It's your friend's fault then. Sorry, I thought you'd visited her nursery when I answered before.

Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 21:25

Not unusual apparently dirty,nursery already has bookings for next April

OP posts:
DoJo · 21/02/2016 21:26

About half the people I know had to put their unborn children down for a nursery place in order to stand a chance of getting in - it's far from uncommon.

Floggingmolly · 21/02/2016 21:26

You've booked a visit to a nursery. When you do that people will kind of assume your pregnancy is common knowledge Confused
How long before you're ready to "disclose" it anyway?

Lweji · 21/02/2016 21:29

Why are you ignoring the comments and questions about the friend you actually told about your pregnancy?

Whatdoidohelp · 21/02/2016 21:29

It's your friends fault. If the nursery manager got the info from her of course she assumed it was common knowledge.

Why are you keeping it such a secret? It's not like your 6 weeks along.

Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 21:30

Ok point taken, just annoyed that two virtual strangers have nothing better to discuss than a pregnancy of someone they have nowt to do with

OP posts:
Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 21:32

Didn't realise I was lweji, appreciate your points of view thank you

OP posts:
JuxtapositionRecords · 21/02/2016 21:37

Unless you said you didn't want anyone else knowing then I don't see the problem? Pregnancy is happy news (usually) so it's something nice to talk about.

PeppasNanna · 21/02/2016 21:40

Your 18 weeks, I don't see the issue!
Its not a secret...is it? Confused

DrWhy · 21/02/2016 21:43

I approached my work nursery at 8 weeks, well before I'd told work but the list is insane and even that far ahead we aren't certain to get a place. I deliberately went at a time other parents were not likely to be there, asked the manager to keep in highly confidential and was allowed not to sign in to the guest entry book as I was only coming in to the office nowhere near the children.
I don't think going to see a nursery should automatically mean you are ready for the world and his wife to know.
On the other hand here the fault seems to be with your friend rather than anyone in an official capacity at the nursery.

GruntledOne · 21/02/2016 21:45

If she heard your friend talking about it, how could she possibly have worked out that you wanted to keep it confidential? And she certainly has no duty of confidentiality towards you in those circumstances.

3luckystars · 21/02/2016 21:46

Are you really not showing at all at 18 weeks? I was like a baby elephant by then, are you very tall?

Sorry this happened, I can totally understand why you are annoyed.

WorraLiberty · 21/02/2016 21:49

If you don't speak to your neighbour, how do you know your neighbour knows you're pregnant?

Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 21:50

I just would have thought that any 'work' related conversations regarding potential clients within the work place, wouldn't be discussed outside of the workplace. Perhaps im just used to having confidentiality issues drummed into me at my own place of work Smile

nope, no sign of bump under the clothes I wear lucky

OP posts:
Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 21:51

Because she come up to my stunned husband in the supermarket and commented worral

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 21/02/2016 21:56

You are right that if you had told her, in a work context, it would be unprofessional for her to pass it on - exactly as it would if she was a nurse, for example.

If your close friend told her, though, it was gossip - it wasn't work related for the manager. Therefore, it's not subject to the same guidelines. It's not information that she came across doing her job - she heard you were pregnant, and mentioned it to your neighbour, who mentioned it to you. It's chinese whispers there. Her job is almost irrelevant, because even if she was told at work, it wasn't work-related.

Floggingmolly · 21/02/2016 21:59

Your husband was stunned that someone's noticed you're 18 weeks pregnant... What exactly is the big secret here? Why does it matter?

Original poster
Beansprout30 · 21/02/2016 22:02

He was stunned that the last person we thought would know our news an do have anything to do with made a comment out of nowhere.

it's not a big secret but it took a while to get pregnant and we just prefer to keep our news close

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 21/02/2016 22:02

Are your other kids named George and Charlotte? Grin