I'm being U aren't I? Talk me down. DP not home or answering his phone.

[IThoughtItWasAFart]

He went out last night to a friends which is 1.5 hours drive away.

They were obviously up until the early hours and now he's not answering his phone.

Presumably he's asleep. He didn't tell me he has any intention of taking today 'off' so I'm a bit pissed off. I've had the kids all week as its half term, they are bouncing off the walls and I've exhausted softplay and parks this week, I was looking forward to some help.

Fuck knows when he'like be back.

OTOH he never goes out let alone does this. I go out more often than him (still rarely though) and I ALWAYS tell him if I'm staying out (well, I've done it once) and I'm back in the morning.

I should just let it go this once shouldn't I? But I'm struggling to feel fair about this.

I have to take the kids out again (they are climbing the walls) and I really don't want to. I have to get food from Tesco and I'm going to have to drag them with me.

I just text him and said I didn't know he was taking the whole day off and wish he'd let me know.

He said 'you didn't seriously expect me back this morning did you?'

No you plank but you just woke up. You have to sober up and drive back.

That's the whole fucking day.

I didn't say that though, I told him I need to drag the kids round Tesco now so see you when I see you.

It's not on.
All my friends are busy so I've got no one to drink wine with.

Wait, he has pulled an all nighter and left you in charge of the DCs for the whole day and he has sent an arsey text?

I don't think what he said sounds particularly arsey.

I would make him do Tesco - text or email him a list and put your feet up.

Maybe I'm reading it as arsey because I'm pissed off?

What time did you expect him to drive home after drinking last night?

That wasn't an arsey text. And he has a point. He's gone out and stopped at his mates overnight so he can have a drink. It's 1.5 hours away. You can't have really expected him back this morning?

Whether he was asleep or awake the time to sober up is the same.

At no point did I expect him back this morning.

I did stupidly think he would be home by 1 though. Not waking up just before 1...

Tone doesn't come across in texts. He's alive, awake, let the text go and see if he's reconciliatory when he does get in. Once in 17 years is practically angelic. Kids bouncing off the walls when you are tired is a drag but, sounds like your relationship is generally good and he's a good sort overall.

Can't you give him today graciously? Once in 17 years!?

Pottering has just said what I was going to. It is 1.5 hour drive and he has to have chance to get up, get ready, have breakfast etc... yabu

I think yabu, you knew he was going out last night and staying over because he was having a drink. He would be irresponsible to drive home in the morning, so not sure what you were expecting.

If this is once in 17 years then I think you need to give him a break.

My only real friends are an hour away (in my home town by my mums). If I go to them for a night out I always make sure I stop drinking in time to be able to drive home by lunch at the latest. I am usually home by one and in touch as soon as I wake up. Alternatively I take DS to my mums and she has him overnight so DH can go out with his mates. Even then, I make sure I am with my child by 1ish. It isn't hard to control yourself!

If he's going to be back around 4 can you go to Tescos without the kids after that?

I think getting back at 4 the next day after a night out is totally taking the piss though. He better take the kids all day tomorrow!

Guitargirl may I refer you back to the title of my thread?

Also, that I haven't given him grief. Nor intend to.

Just that I'm annoyed he's going to be gone the whole day and I had no idea that was part of the plan.

I agree with trixymalixy 100% and I also don't think the text was 'arsey'. Give him a break.

Yes you may refer me to your thread title.

Yes you are being unreasonable.

Also, at no point in this thread did I say I expected him back this morning.

Yanbu to be anxious, but it's clear he would be drink driving if he returned earlier and you probably wouldn't have appreciated a text or call at 4 am. He should have made it clear last night though that he would stay over and not to worry. I also think if he rarely goes out then you shouldn't be po that he is taking a Saturday off for himself.

In that case, may you brush up your skills on talking someone down who already knows they are being unreasonable.

Urgh kids are going mental i guess I need to take them to the park.

Joy.

If he had a skinful last night, he won't be able to drive until about lunchtime anyway because he is probably still over the limit. Wouldn't you be a lot more pissed off if he got a dui just so he could be home earlier? You still have time to dtd, if you only got your positive ov test this morning so try to relax. Stressing will not put you or your dh in the 'right' mood unless you like angry sex

Oh fuck it, it's started to rain.

So fucking bored. This is exactly the reason I went back to work.

I'm shit at this 'stay at home parenting' thing.

Do you have a garden?

When I was a kid and we were climbing the walls, my Mum would grab out coats and tell us to go burn off some energy, raining or not