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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ALWAYS hate my work colleagues?

71 replies

Bellygirl · 20/02/2016 08:03

Now I'm not talking the entire workforce, but no matter where I've worked or who I work with I always ALWAYS end up hating the person I work closely with. When I've worked in offices the person I sit next to always starts off ok but after a while ends up infuriating me, to the point that they annoy me so much I want to quit my job so I don't have to see them again. It's happening again now, I work in a job which I have to spend a lot of time in a van with this person and they just drive me insane, I can't stand them...it's making me want to quit my job again! So am I the problem? AIBU? Does this happen to other people? Is it just a factor of having to spend x amount of time with these people when you'd rather be at home? Arrrrgh! Confused

OP posts:
BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 20/02/2016 08:05

So am I the problem?

Yes.

TimeToMuskUp · 20/02/2016 08:08

If you always end up hating the person you're working closely with, you've got to ask yourself whats the common denominator. I suspect it's probably you.

Theendispie · 20/02/2016 08:09

I have worked with dozens of people of those only 3 were totally horrid and 2 of these people were universally loathed by all. Seems like people just irritate you.

What is it exactly that they do that you don't like?

BathtimeFunkster · 20/02/2016 08:09

Sounds like it's you.

LaContessaDiPlump · 20/02/2016 08:10

Sounds like it's you.

Sorry.

DirtyHarrietOnABike · 20/02/2016 08:10

I don't know... You are either extremely unlucky, or you have a problem. I always end up super good friends with my closest work colleagues. But I really wanted to keep my jobs too, if that is a factor..

Stimpack · 20/02/2016 08:11

It's you.

SevenOfNineTrue · 20/02/2016 08:11

Yes, you are the problem.

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 20/02/2016 08:11

But I really wanted to keep my jobs too, if that is a factor.

This. OP sounds like she doesn't want a job at all.

Theendispie · 20/02/2016 08:12

Im still intrigued as to what it is that you perceive to be such bad behaviour on their part. Maybe you just can't handle being in close quarters with others, that isn't their fault.

JerryFerry · 20/02/2016 08:14

People are annoying, no doubt about it.

Do you like your actual work? Spending a lot of time in a van with someone sounds quite trying.

MarvinKMooney · 20/02/2016 08:14

What is it about your colleagues that you don't like?

Katenka · 20/02/2016 08:26

I have always worked in large offices. I have never liked everyone, but have always just gritted my teeth and worked with the ones I don't like.

If you end up disliking everyone you work closely with, to the point of quitting, then it's probably you. You may just have a low tolerance for people.

You never know, they may feel the same about you

Gwenhwyfar · 20/02/2016 08:27

Don't all people get on each other's nerves if they spend too much time together? Being together in a van all day sounds too much to me? Don't most people feel irritation with their housemates for example?

Gwenhwyfar · 20/02/2016 08:27

Personally, I always dislike the people who are giving me orders, but that's obviously a problem with taking orders rather than the people themselves.

gleekster · 20/02/2016 08:28

We need more info to be fair OP.

My gut instinct is to say "It's you" but that may be unfair.

An ex friend of mine used to say this. Every job she would have MAJOR issues with someone she worked closely with, or would say things like "everyone at work hates me, it's because I'm the boss/so good at my job" It really was her and her snobby and judgeypants attitude that was the problem.

On the other hand, you may have been unlucky. If your problem with your van colleague, and previous colleagues is that they spend all day spitting, swearing and making racist comments then YANBU.

Firedemon · 20/02/2016 08:28

I'm the same, pretty low tolerance for annoying behaviour. I have a solitary field based told now which works well for me Smile

AddToBasket · 20/02/2016 08:28

You have low tolerance levels and a lack of self awareness.

Gwenhwyfar · 20/02/2016 08:29

I've probably been able to avoid a lot of this because in the past I worked in office (abroad) where everyone had their own office. It means you have less opportunity for chat, but you really appreciate it when someone calls around or you meet up in the kitchen. I think open plan's taken over in this country except for managers, but you might still be able to find somewhere where you could have your own space.

Firedemon · 20/02/2016 08:29

It strikes me she doesn't show a lack of self awareness at all, given the fact she's posted about this problem.....

Gwenhwyfar · 20/02/2016 08:30

How does she lack self awareness AddToBasket?

Gwenhwyfar · 20/02/2016 08:30

Sorry x posted with Firedmon.

BeaufortBelle · 20/02/2016 08:33

I think i may have worked with someone like you. She appeared to be so nice and kind and charming but over time built up hatreds of most people she came into contact with. I tried really hard but eventually my time came. It was really unpleasant but I can see it was her problem and her bitterness that caused it but she was great at driving wedges between people too. Took me a long time to see that she was a bully in actual fact. Really unhappy person who disliked it if anyone was happy, good at their job, etc. Not saying you are a bully by the way but can you not try to see the good in people?

AddToBasket · 20/02/2016 08:37

The other side of accepting that no one is perfect is understanding that you aren't either. An awareness, and gratitude, that people put up with you too is part of what makes anyone tolerant and gives reasonable expectations of others.

ilovesooty · 20/02/2016 08:42

Perhaps I've been lucky. I've worked with my current company for 12 years on a range of projects, always in open plan offices and can count on the fingers of one hand the people I've disliked.