to think it is cruel to pick on a man for this

[alpacaonfire]

There is a young guy on our office relatively recently joined. Although he's early ish 20s he is significantly bald. My female manager early 30s is forever commenting on it, sometimes on front of him sometimes not. He smiles and laughs along but I sense he is actually quite hurt by the things she says and embarrassed about his baldness and relative youth. AIBU?

Ilovesooty
In a City office environment innocent banter is common. Its totally normal to not only do your work but to also laugh and joke with colleagues throughout the day. Its good for moral and its quite the norm. I have never known laughter or banter to be called unprofessional as someone else mentioned.
Just because someone is a director of a company does not mean they cannot laugh or joke whilst sitting at their desk. Wondering where many people work now? Our Marine MD dressed up as a rabbit last easter and gave out eggs to our team. Plus he tripped up and fell over and we were all screaming with laughter. So was he. This is all in between dealing with multi million dollar contracts. People need to lighten up

Superflyhigh
I am not being bullied so dont need to read the company policy thank you.
Put it this way. Im very good at handling myself so I dont think anyone would even try to bully me. Its never happened in my 32 Year career and if it did the bully would be spoken to myself first privately in a separate office.

Flat

You should read the policies for no other reason than to protect yourself about what is seen to be bullying.

There's a world of difference between laughing at somebody senior who's deliberately playing for laughs, and mocking someone junior to you for a physical characteristic over which they have little or no control.

Flat, strong people are sometimes bullied. Mobbing behaviour is a group against an individual. You can be strong and independent - bullies can still bring you down. Oh, and the City is not known as an exemplar for equity in the workplace, so Christ knows why you keep citing it as such.

No, 'people' do not need to 'lighten up'. What 'people' need to do is recognise that there is a massive difference between colleagues sharing a job based on funny or amusing stories or incidents and a manager making fun of the appearance of a new more junior member of the team.

The fact that you have been in the workplace for 32 years means that a)you should be perfectly well aware of those differences, b)be thankful you've never been on the receiving end of bullying from a boss, c)be very aware of your company policies and what is contained therein and d)recognise bullying for what it is and stand up for members of your team when you witness it by reporting to HR.

Boneyback
Im fine thanks. I know the difference between bullying and upsetting someone and general office jokes/laughs and banter. Im 48 not 16.
Gabilan
Totally agree. No one should be made to feel like shit in the workplace.
On a different note to bullying, there are some on here that think general office laughs and banter is unprofessional. To me there is no better tonic than to laugh. Its not a crime to laugh in the workplace, it makes the day more enjoyable and gives you a bond with your colleagues. Cant ever imagine sitting in a silent/quiet office all day. Must be flippin torture. Ive never experienced that. Ive always worked with very confident and outgoing, sociable chatty people.

Sirchen
With respect you are missing my point re 'lighten up'.
Im talking about those on here that think innocent mutual banter at work is being unprofessional.

NOT, downright nasty bullying which should be dealt with. Trust that clarifies.

there are some on here that think general office laughs and banter is unprofessional

Point to the 'some' who think that (and by that I mean actual banter as opposed to the banter which is often used to excuse bullying)

I've always worked with a mixture of people - some confident, some not so confident, some outgoing, some more introverted, some chatty, some quiet. It's good to work with a variety of people - it makes you more tolerant, inclusive, respectful of differences and understanding, I find.

SirChen
Totally agree.

And the 'some' who think that office laughs and banter (genuine, funny, appreciated by all banter) is unprofessional?

IME the problems occur when nasty behaviour is dressed up as "just a joke" or banter. The problem isn't genuine banter - it's using the fact that people like banter to defend what's actually unacceptable behaviour.

I manage volunteers. It sharpens you up knowing that a valuable team member can leave at any point and you have no redress.

There are so many other ways of ensuring a friendly workplace, and having a sense of humour, that trying to pass off personal remarks as "banter" just isn't necessary at all.

There is plenty of laughing and joking in my team. Our offices are anything but silent. However our banter doesn't involve making unpleasant references to other team members or joking about personal appearance or characteristics.
And to say that you have no need to read the anti bullying policy because you've never been bullied is one of the most breathtakingly stupid comments I've ever read on here.

Banter (the playful and friendly exchange of teasing remarks) is something which, IMHO, only has any value for a very, very short time! It seems to work best when young people are flirting and joking and making comments and very quickly reveal that they do actually like each other. For anyone older than a teenager I am not sure how teasing really adds any value!

I think teasing (making fun of or attempt to provoke a person (or animal) in a playful way) just becomes boring. It may rely on something about he person that stands out: bald or thinning hair, style of dress, accent, etc etc. Some will be things people cannot control, some may be things they choose (e.g. style of dress). Either way what value does it bring?

In my experience it can cause rifts in relationships. The banter can quickly create a situation where one person feel upset and either storms off/breaks contact or where they feel unable to say because it is 'only' banter!

In families it can cause upset, and there is no HR department to take the issue to. So in families I think it can be even more unhelpful.

In work, at least, one can rely on the fact that there are rules to determine how we are meant to relate to each other. Any boss who cannot built a robust and happy team without teasing a junior member of that team is, at the very least, a shit boss.

My team are lovely, we make strong relationships by talking together, sharing what we are doing at work and those bits of our personal lives we feel we wish to share. We have shared team meetings and sometimes meals together at key times of year (like the start of the year). This has build a very robust and strong supportive team. I am overweight, one of my colleagues is bald, one has a decidedly funky hair cut, one a disability, if any member of the team made any teasing comments about anything it would begin to destroy rather than enhance that atmosphere.

My DP has been receding (and going grey bless him) since he was mid 20's. He keeps his hair shaved quite tight but it's quite obvious.

He has no issue with it, it is what it is. He is self assured and confident in himself but I imagine any comments / banter would have an effect. Your manager is an are and I'd personally tell her to pack it in!!

*arse