AIBU to think I can get married with a tiny baby?

[queenoftheworld93]

So DP and I are getting married in December. All booked and (partially) paid for. Were planning on a few nights somewhere unusual for our honeymoon but it isn't booked yet.

However, a couple of days ago we found out I'm pregnant. We weren't trying any more so it was a big shock. If online calculators are to be trusted, baby is due in October. It would be around 9 weeks old for the wedding. We have already sent out the save the dates.

Aibu to hope we can do this without changing the date? Just for info: hoping to bf, cannot bring the wedding closer for financial reasons, and I am buying my dress from an outlet store (hopefully minimal appointments/alterations). What do you all think?

I got married when Dd1 was 5 weeks old. I had an Emcs after failed ventouse and forceps, but was walking and sitting in cars fine by that stage.

Dd at that stage had horrendous eczema and I had the grand total of 1 hours sleep the night before our wedding. We had also moved flat a week earlier and I was shattered.

Dd bottle refused and I nearly had to breastfeed her in the ceremony, but DM managed to jiggle her around so that we could finish before I had to find a discreet place to feed her in the registry office before the photos.

We had a small reception at DMILS which made things easier, plenty of people to hold dd. The only draw back being she didn't want to be put down in her cot later on as she had got used to all the cuddles. Made an early exit and left everyone to party.

It is doable, but be prepared and take extra baby outfits (dd spectacularly pooed through her wedding outfit).

Thank you all very much for all your stories and opinions

I got married when Ds was 4mo. Looking back, it was a bit bonkers but like you, my pregnancy/engagement coincided and we didn't want to put the wedding off. We kept it small, got lots of help with planning (used hotel organiser, friends, family etc). My sister made the cake, I organised favours, menus, flowers well in advance while I had plenty of time. Try to plan as much as you can now and just enjoy the day without worrying about it being 'perfect'...... I excused myself quite a few times to express! On that note, make sure you get some fabulous, sturdy underwear😄.
I won't lie, it was a lot to take on with a LO but if I am honest, knowing what I know now, a wedding with a crawler/ toddler would have been way more stressful. Good luck and congratulations! The wedding is the easy bit ... 😉

Can I just point out not all babies are 'easily portable' mine screams blue murder in a sling/pushchair/car seat if she's really determined about it - not every single time, but if she's not happy about it she can be in a grump for a good portion of the day. She likes a good stretch after a snooze and not many baby transport methods are conducive to that. They're not particularly distractable at that age are they? Saying that lots of family to dish out the cuddles might do the trick.

Cornetto - mine were very distractable at 11 weeks. Just put boob in mouth and they would be quiet. We were travelling Asia by that point so they only had sling as option or floor/ lap/ main bed. No car seat or pram option. Both the same.

Honestly some threads on here make babies and children terrifying! It's ok for me as I have them already, but for parents to be they must be having the fear brought to them sometimes.

My sister did exactly this, the day went well,people held the baby, they got married. However on reflection my sister says she wishes they had delayed it. They were both tired from the inevitable sleep disruption a baby brings, her shape had changed and had to have dress altered and not too happy. Boobs hurt all day, had expressed and could not feed all the time.6 months pluss would have been much better.

I knew someone who got one of these dresses for a wedding as they were pregnant. It's really easy to adjust for changing sizes and presumably pull down for feeding www.inoneclothing.com/multiway-dresses?gclid=CNyKzeaqg8sCFaoEwwodya4JVw it would be soft for a c section scar too and you could get a stretchy sling wrap in a coordinating colour (you wouldn't have to wear the baby all day but would be nice to have the option and the idea of the photos makes me weepy!)

For my baby, 7-12 weeks would have been the sweet spot! Not long after that he was rolling then crawling so wasn't as happy to sit on a lap and be passed around. 9 weeks is a great age because even though the baby needs to feed a lot, they are so quiet and calm while being fed! At 4 months they get easily distracted and I think a wedding would be quite distracting!

As its a hotel wedding you shouldn't have too much to organise last minute and having a baby will put a lot of the things that you might otherwise have flapped about into perspective!

Obviously post-natal depression could rear its head, but hopefully having the wedding on the horizon would encourage you to seek help at the earliest sign!

Fair point - boob works on mine too - it's just not really the most convenient solution in the middle of a wedding ceremony, wedding dinner, first dance, photos etc.

Dd is a comfort sucker which is fine by me but there are times it's not great. Feeding will work for so long but if it's the comfort she wants I can be stuck for a while with her or it just plain old hurts after a while.

It's all workable for a day, but best to be prepared for it instead of getting stressed because the baby isn't playing ball.

Sorry meant to add - I appreciate that scare stories by themselves aren't helpful. Truth is though babies can range from nightmarish to pampers box angelic, post natal health can be a walk in the park or a hellish rollercoaster. You just don't know till you're living it and how you will cope.

Imho it's smart to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. For me personally I have never ever experienced the pressure of expectation like I have done with these first few months. I'm finally getting into a mindset of going with what suits me and dd, but there was a drawn out period where I felt inadequate for not being able to do what others seem to manage effortlessly without a massive amount of stress or dp around to help. Chuck a wedding into that mix and it makes sense to have a plan.

It could go either way, a wedding could be a great distraction and the op could flourish with it to distract from the monotonous routine of a newborn or it could be the straw that breaks the camels back and saps the last of her energy and confidence. Who knows. I've never been so busy but not got much acheived in my life!