To ask guests to contribute to my wedding?

[DontForgetTheLightAlesLawrence]

Please give your honest thoughts on what you would think to receiving this in a wedding invitation.

Along with saying yes or no to coming, and whether you have any special dietary requirements, it has a bit saying that all drinks on the day/evening will be free, with a small contribution request, on the return of the invitation. Childrend drinks are free so no contribution required: non alcohol drinking adults £5, alcohol drinking adults £10.

The op is obviously at a venue rather than a village hall.

Is corkage cheaper? That's what we did, it worked out cheaper than their drinks package.

If you expect people to send you money this is what you'll be remembered for.

They aren't funding the wedding by our asking them to pay for their own drinks in advance!

deregistered

No.

Why bother? Wouldn't it be much easier to just have a pay bar and be done with it?

Unless of course you're actually hoping that guests will feel obliged to contribute a LOT more than £5 / £10 ...

They aren't funding the wedding by our asking them to pay for their own drinks in advance!

why?

Don't OP. It's just not done. No matter how much it might seem a good idea to you, it's not.

There's nothing wrong with having a paid bar there. People don't expect free drinks.

Asking for a contribution up front is begging.

I might just cope with £ 10 at the bar on the night, I would certainly not want to pay in advance!!

It comes across badly. No one expects there to be a free bar and no one expects to be asked for a financial contribution. It is perception.

And it will end up costing you way more overall as most people will drink more than their £10 and those who don't will resent having subsidised everyone else!!

It would be better to take the amount you can afford and put it behind the bar - once it runs out people buy their own drinks.

Just have a pay bar and put some wine/juice on the table I have never been to a wedding with a free bar all day /night

I think the set up is that you're at a venue where you could buy a load of booze and have a "free" bar, rather than pay a fiver for a pint in a hotel, is that right?

On that basis, I would ask people to bring a bottle rather than charge money - I get the point, but it just looks awful.

That's so mean. Have a pay bar if you want to.

I hope and i seriously hope that on every table you have at least 1 bottle of bubbly (cava etc) and wine.

Do you not factor in how much your guests spend to get there, be there, your present etc?!

Oh dear

Problem is everyone will be checking out your dress, asking about honeymoon etc and bitching you spent money elsewhere!

Poor OP. What a lot of frothing!
I've still only been to one wedding with a cash bar. When I mentioned that on MN a few years back that I was flamed the consensus was it was posh/ old fashioned. I'm now at second round of weddings. Still no cash bars, but lots more please help us decorate the hall/ trips to Calais/ bring a cake for the vin d'honneur etc.
Don'tforget
How much would you get? Assuming 100 guests I bet half will be for these purposes children or non drinkers so you'd probably have £700 to put towards the drinks bill and a whole lot of grumbling.

Why ask for it in advance though?

If someone wants to pay £6.50 for a gin and tonic, that's up to her!

I can't help wonder why the OP wants the a contribution to the drinks in advance.

Is there a deposit you have to pay?

I am not trying to be shitty, but I just can not see why you would ask for the drinks money upfront.

I wouldn't have done this, but I don't think I would be offended by it- I would like not having a pay bar. Most wedding I have been to have a pay bar and is is crazily expensive for one drink not to mention I have to remember cash.
I think MN can be very opinionated on weddings- but it is your day and your ffiends. You know them. Do what works for you.

Can I come

I really don't like this idea at all. People expect to buy their own drinks at weddings (after one or two drinks with the meal). Just pay for an arrival drink, one at the meal and something for the toast and leg everyone else pay for what they want.

Is this an actual serious post?? I thought you were asking for people to contribute to accommodation and was going to say I thought that that was fair.

but a £10 ticket on the door to get in?? that is all everyone is going to remember about your wedding. not how lovely you looked or the church or the bridesmaid or the cake but the fact that you expected them to pay a tenner in advance for drink.

just really really don't do this. either cut back on everything else and have a free bar or provide a limited amount of drink yourself - just wine beer and soft no spirits on a "when its gone its gone basis". or have a subsidised bar or just a normal bar. but don't ask people to pay to come to your wedding. when did this become a thing?

No way, you need fewer people or a pay bar. Perfectly good options both!

Another vote for paid bar plus red/white/rose on table and a round of cava on arrival. You will look generous, most moderate drinkers will be catered for, anyone else can pay for more drinks.

Seriouslyffs well out of the last 6 weddings I've attended only 2 have been completely non cash bar (very generous too but people did get very drunk).

The other 2 weddings it seemed the sensible option to have a cash bar and wine at tables.

Some of the other ideas here like getting drinks in then someone to help and charging £1 a go etc are good or honesty box as at least you recoup some of the costs.

A few people I know visit vineyards in France (my parents and their friends have holiday homes out near Bordeaux) and have had some great booze cruise sort of deals bringing back champagne, wine etc and great deals from vineyards if you know how to ask/haggle. Combine with a few people coming back in cars and you cover that cost.

It's the way the OP has worded it sorry it does sound incredibly grabby and would put my back up immediately. Consensus here is mostly the same.

It doesn't matter how much you dress it up saying you're trying to save guests money at the bar, it just comes over that you're charging them to come to your wedding.

Send the invites, have a paid bar, everyone will cope and those who want to drink £500 worth of booze can make their own choice.

"Hi. We'd love to have you at our wedding, providing you pass a credit check and supply a £10 deposit. To check your credit score for free please sign up to Equifax, we will only allow scores of 600 or higher. We can't wait to share our special day with you and your wallet with us"

I'm amazed seriously that you've only attended one wedding with a bar where you buy your own drinks. Normal to me is drink on arrival, wine with the meal then buy your own. Do all your friends/relatives have free bars or bring your own?