To ask guests to contribute to my wedding?

[DontForgetTheLightAlesLawrence]

Please give your honest thoughts on what you would think to receiving this in a wedding invitation.

Along with saying yes or no to coming, and whether you have any special dietary requirements, it has a bit saying that all drinks on the day/evening will be free, with a small contribution request, on the return of the invitation. Childrend drinks are free so no contribution required: non alcohol drinking adults £5, alcohol drinking adults £10.

Why not provide wine or soft drinks with the meal. When the wine runs out, it runs out, unless you're at Cana.

Finish early evening. No need for a bar at all. No need to charge people.

Does the venue's alcohol licence allow you to charge an entrance fee?

I think it's a terrible idea to ask somebody to RSVP and include money. Sorry.

I would think a box on the bar would be a better idea or just have a paying bar.

It sounds like you are saying

'Look how generous we are having a free bar, but we can't afford it so chip in'

I do think people will drink more to get their monies worth. Possibly end up with a bigger bar bill.

I drink tiny amounts. A glass of wine is all I would drink at a wedding in the evening. I wouldn't contribute a tenner for a glass of wine.

We had an 'honesty bar' at our wedding as we had it in a village hall and didn't want to pay for bartenders etc.
People helped themselves to drinks and popped whatever they wanted in the box. We didn't make money on it but it covered some of the cost without looking grabby.

Terribly rude. Don't do it.

A plus point (after reading some of these replies) is that it might weed out some of those who were only ever turning up for a free night out anyway (!)

Awful idea.

People are generally more amenable to a bring-your-own drink suggestion.

I think honesty box is the best course of action here.

This is really poor ettique. Whatever next charge them for the food? You should have a budget in place to cover such costs. Have toast and wine on the tables during dinner and let people buy their own. People prefer to buy their own drinks that they like to drink not limited to certain ones. If you can't afford the wedding postpone. You can't expect people some of which might have to travel and get accomdation,pay into the drinks scheme and give you a present.

No, just no. It s rude.
I would be really surprised and a bit miffed if I had to contribute like this. It would probably colour my whole thoughts on the day too- and I d end up remembering it as the wedding we had to pay a tenner to go to :)

As a guest i ve been to many weddings, the ones with all day free bars probably were messier with more people ending up in a heap,

you could do free drinks up to a certain time,
Or
Free drinks reception on arrival at venue drinks at the meal and another round of champagne for toasts and speeches is the usual for most weddings I ve been to. That s usually 1-2 drinks per person on arrival, 2 glasses wine with meal and champagne or a toast for speeches - that s still providing 4-5 drinks per person !

People don't go to a wedding for booze, and personally I would not see free booze as an incentive towards a good wedding ! And even if you re asked to contribute a nominal amount, it seems rude

Echoing ThumbWitch, we are having THE most "scaled-back, cut your cloth" wedding (no photographer, no professional flowers, no honeymoon, making own decs, no make-up artist, and so on), but it still doesn't change the fact that my close, see every week, would be awkward to leave any out, family is 40 people alone, before you add in DP's family, and then our closest friends. It would be great to scale back even more, but we really are sticking to just the most important people, even if there are loads of them!

Can you not sell 'drinks packages' at the bar? So the alcohol one would be £10 at the start of the night then you could operate a ticket/token type system. I'd be happy to pay this at a wedding.

I posted on here before my wedding as I had a similar dilemma. We couldn't afford to pay for all the evening drinks but I didn't want guests to pay over the odds for drinks either, by getting a mobile bar.
We compromised and bought all the wine/beer ourselves, including real ale barrels and paid one of DS friends £60 to work behind the bar in the evening. We then just charged a flat rate per drink, so £2 per pint, £1 for a glass of wine. Soft drinks were free. It worked really well and we covered our costs, which was all we were bothered about. People really appreciated the cheap prices too. DS friend was great, did loads of cleaning up too.
We also massively over catered - people didn't drinks as much as we thought, so just took the rest home!

slebmum - I'd really really like to know what this DYAC was supposed to say: "a tenner from everyone is still only 1.5 Gina NS roni s each?!"

It's just - whaaat?

Thumbwitches the OP might be inviting colleagues or friends out of politeness. The point being would you risk offending those you really want there (by asking them to contribute) just to have more people at your wedding (assuming this is something the OP may be doing)? I'd rather keep those I'm closest to happy but that's just my opinion.

Just thought - it does depend where your wedding is though. Ours was the village hall, so no worries about providing our own.

If you can't afford your wedding you need to save or budget elsewhere. Don't expect your guests to fund it.

YABU.

Pay bar all the way.

I think putting anything on the invites is a really bad idea and will look like an entrance fee.

What I would do op - say nothing on the invites. People will assume it's a paying bar, which is standard. Have some cards behind the bar and when the bar opens and someone buys a drink, the bar staff give them a choice...'That will be £3.95 Sir...there is an offer on if you prefer, you can pay £10 now and the remaining drinks for the evening are free'.

People can then make a choice and I suspect most would pay the £10 and continue to get free drinks whilst showing their pass card. Plus, it looks like the hotel/venue is the one making the 'offer' and there'll be no whispers of entrance fees.

Don't do it. I see where you're coming from, but you'll have people bitching behind your back about it forever more. It's rude to invite people to an event you are hosting and then ask them to pay.

I love the idea!
A round of two drinks is generally more at a wedding venue.

But sorry to piss on your chips, I just can't think of how you will a) ask b) police it.

Can I ask if the venue also has a pay bar? How would they agree to this-isn't most of their revenue made from warm, overpriced gin in dirty glasses

Daily Fail journo?

No, no, no. Terrible idea.

She's not charging a tenner to attend, she's asking for £10 to pay for drinks. I've only been to 2 weddings with totally free drinks all night. Most weddings have had wine with the meal then a bar where you post for your own all the rest of the time.

I think if you word it something like, there's no bar facilities so we are buying all the alcohol for people to help themselves, we'd appreciate a donation as hiring a paid bar will cost us all more! Suggestion £10 for drinkers, they'll be a box on the table with the booze if you could contribute. Looking forward to partying with you soon etcetc.

Id be fine with that op, I'll come!

I wouldn't attend tbh. It's an invitation to share your day - paying for the privilege is not my idea of an invitation

I would prefer to pay for my own drinks as I am teetotal and would probably not get anywhere near £10 in drinks!