To ask guests to contribute to my wedding?

[DontForgetTheLightAlesLawrence]

Please give your honest thoughts on what you would think to receiving this in a wedding invitation.

Along with saying yes or no to coming, and whether you have any special dietary requirements, it has a bit saying that all drinks on the day/evening will be free, with a small contribution request, on the return of the invitation. Childrend drinks are free so no contribution required: non alcohol drinking adults £5, alcohol drinking adults £10.

I've got to add a final note (for me anyway) I've organised over 100 weddings, I'm in the South East. I would say probably 10% of those weddings have had a totally free bar, the other 90% have given guests 1 or 2 free drinks and then had a pay bar. This is in addition to the champagne toast, and normally half a bottle of wine per person allowed at the wedding breakfast. If you want to allow for a little more you can always add an extra bottle of wine or two on to each table at the wedding breakfast. That is normally very well received as you're sitting at a table for a good 2-3 hours. As per my previous post you can always ask to bring in the wine to be served during the wedding breakfast and pay corkage. Review what is in your 'package' if you've opted for one as it normally includes the toast and wine but venues are always willing to discuss/negotiate.

YABU.
Just have a pay bar like every wedding I've ever been to over the last 40 years (and that's been a LOT of weddings of all types, hosted by people in all sorts of different financial circumstances).

InShock the reception is in a barn in a farmers field. they aren't tied in to any packages. they cant afford to provide a totally free bar and don't want a paying bar so think that asking for a tenner up front is a good solution.

BYOB that's the answer surely.

Hello Ryanairbride !

Thanks everyone for the suggestions and comments. And thanks to whatever the OP's mums net name is, (my friend) for posting for me. The land owner is providing the licence, they said they have done similar types of bar set up before so is no issue. BYOB is a very good suggestion, we will add to the invites that there will be a bar but anyone is welcome to bring their own if they prefer. Any suggestions on cooling/fridge set ups for this?

We will be buying a shed load of booze on our bookers account (loaned) so the £1 per drink charge on the bar will cover that cost. We did look at hiring a mobile bar, which actually costs nothing to hire, but the drinks prices were quite high. So to save our guests money we will just get the booze in cheaper and they can drink for less :)

There isn't formal tables, it's Braii and haybales, but we will definitely be handing out beers, wine or soft drinks for when we eat and during any speeches or toasts.

Thanks for all the suggestions, duly noted.

I've never been to a wedding with a free bar. Most supply an arrival drink, some supply wine with dinner and some (one that I can remember) a token for one free drink on the grooms parents.

Just have a paid bar.

Hello

I think you might piss guests off by saying it's a free bar in the same sentence as asking for £10 for drinks.
Maybe if you don't pretend it's free.

I would rather pay for my drinks than pay the £10 anyway.
It avoids people quibbling about not having drunk their money's worth, driving etc

That sounds lovely ryanair, hope you have a fabulous day.

Ha ha nice name change OP and good for you for coming back!!

Byob would be fab I bet

No dont. Im not sure how this works legally re licencing rules anyway.

If the landowner has already purchased a bar license, ask them about fridges, ice etc

Don't bother with a big wedding
By all means charge at the bar but don't expect guests who have already bought you a present to be particularly happy

Just seen update. Congratulations on the wedding x

I haven't NCed! That would be sock puppeting, no?

There's no presents. We will request no presents any way I should say! This is my first time on mumsnet, so this is my first name. Or has my name changed?
I've no idea how it works on licensing rules, but the venue said that we would have the same licence set up as a mobile bar would? It's on the grounds of a big Manor House where they do big fancy weddings all the time, same owners, so I assume (hope) they know what they are doing on that stuff.

Why would guests be unhappy? All weddings ask people to travel, possibly accomodation, usually a gift and then have a bar that they are expected to pay their own drinks. So if we provide a cheaper bar than normal prices, what is there to be upset about?

Being curious here OP what is your rationale and thinking behind this idea?

Eh?? Who is Ryanair bride then??

What a faff though having to dig out £1 every time you want a drink. Will the price be the same for alcoholic and non alcoholic?

I'd be tempted to get one of those mobile bars you mentioned (you said they are free, but drinks expensive?). then give them the money you would have spent at Bookers so guests perhaps get one drink free.
It'll save you the stress.
£10 contribution is awkward, unless you know you can please everyone, some people like diet tonic, some people soda, some people will drive, some people like all different spirits, dry wine/sweet etc etc
If you buy everything so people have choices then charge £1, the guests will be happy - but it's expensive and a stress for you.

Can we just clear up why you're posting under two different names and saying you're not?

I think I am pretty laid back but I would not be happy to be asked this.
The reason is I've already paid for my own wedding. I'm not goi g to fund yours too.
We had welcome drinks, a prosecco toast, wine on the table and a locally brewery provided barrels of beer which guests could pour themselves. Anything else they bought themselves.
Our view where that they were our guests. We were the hosts. We wanted them to enjoy themselves.
We worked with local suppliers to stay within our self imposed budget. We kept numbers small, no work could leagues or vague acquaintances - just those people who are actually important to us in our lives.
I don't expect free drinks at a wedding. All weddings I've been to have had the same format, welcome drink, toast drink, wine on table and a pay bar.

Huh?

Is that for me?