Mum and I are very close- the only family we have is each other, so I've always been insecure of losing her, something happening to her.
She lives in Asia, but we keep in regular contact.
Yesterday out of the blue she tells me she's going for this trip to a very dangerous place. I'm not religious at all, but my mother is. And this place has some sort of religious significance. It's also for tourism purposes, but the fact that this place is "holy" was the main driver.
It's in the mountains, in a place prone to landslides, casualties and dangerous weather.
The surrounding areas are prone to terrorist activity.
She could have taken a flight, but no, she's taken a 14 hour train journey instead because it's £50 cheaper. I offered to pay the bloody £50 which could have gotten her there in ONE HOUR INSTEAD.
reaching the "holy" shrine requires a TEN HOUR hike up the mountains. She's got osteoporosis and slip disks in her back and she's medically not supposed to do this. I've begged her to take a helicopter instead which I will pay for, I have no idea if she'll listen.
The queue to view the holiness, is apparently SIX to SIXTEEN hours.
The best part? There is no mobile phone network there. None.
So until Saturday evening I won't know whether she's ok or not, alive or not.
I was totally honest with her about the anxiety this would cause me, I requested her repeatedly not to go. At least not until she had better planned her trip. But she obviously doesn't give a fuck about either logic or what I feel.