To have a word with the school about birthday treats?

[BananaPie]

Ds is in reception. On their birthday, kids are allowed to bring in treats to dish out to classmates at the end of the day. The other day, ds came out with a piece of cake, a chocolate biscuit and a lolly.

Now, I'm more than happy for ds to have the odd treat, but I do like to choose what and when he has them. That said, it does seem pretty churlish to whip them away when all his classmates are tucking in, and I couldn't quite face the resulting tantrum on the way home. Ds ate them all, but was on a sugar high for the rest of the evening which made bedtime a bit of a nightmare.

Would it be unreasonable to talk to the school about types / amounts of treats allowed? Some people just bring in a box of celebrations or similar and each child takes one, which I have no problem with. Or should I just confiscate as much as possible from him in the playground and deal with the tantrum?

Our school has had the option of birthday treats for the whole class, and always told it needed to be something small (which was generally respected in fairness), and bearing in mind that the school DOES have a healthy eating policy which, although not strictly policed, is clear and pretty well adhered to (DD used to come home full of tales if 1 person in the class had major treats), and being allowed a treat as part of Friday packed lunches (all packed lunches here).

However, some of the parents of the younger kids (DD is now Y4 equivalent) made a lot of fuss about this in the previous 2 school years and got roles of influence on the PTA. With the result that the principal felt she was forced to issue an edict of "no more birthday treats in class" in September.

MAny, MANY of the senior end of school parents have had serious raised eyebrows about this, as mostly the treats consisted of a small bun each for everyone, or a pack of mini jellies (mini bags of haribos or natural confectionary company), or even 1 big bag of jellies with everyone getting a single jelly from it.

But there is a spate of September birthdays in the bottom 3 years, there was a baby boom on and serious pressure in the mat hospitals for a few years in a row, so it is quite likely that some started with DCs coming home with treats nearly every day for their first 3 weeks. (Our class has a glut in Sept, a glut in late Dec/Jan, and a small clutch in April, as well as a few more scattered throughout the year, probably no more than about 6/7 in each glut but it is noticable).

So the school should monitor the treats because you can't/won't prevent your child from eating them all in one go?

missrabot I read it can often be the dyes in the sweets, cakes, etc rather than the sugar.

The one friend I have who was hysterical about McDonalds and sugary drinks is the only one whose children are obsessed with food and who are both overweight.

The rest of us were sensible and rational, allowing a few treats a week and have healthy sized children.

I find that 'cheapy' sugar makes my blood sugar rocket - hard to describe but i know that some sweets/jam I just can't tolerate (Percy pigs!). I throw up then get really sleepy.

We've had kids at school with horrible allergies (not just the usual nut, egg, milk etc) and no one has ever demanded a blanket ban on peppers, tomatoes, berries or bread.

Just because you don't like it, you need to deal with it. The world won't change for you and its good for kids to learn about moderation (and tolerance), and in some cases just saying 'no thanks'.

Wait until they discover fags and booze (and worse) and you aren't able to snatch it away or ban it.

And to think it's normally the older person that's the parent....

Wait until they discover fags and booze (and worse) and you aren't able to snatch it away or ban it.

I think I feel the same about booze for adults as I do about sugar for kids. A little bit isn't going to kill you, but it's a shame that booze is so central to our culture.

'Wait until they discover fags and booze (and worse) and you aren't able to snatch it away or ban it. '

And sex. I knew more than a few teens/young adults who destroyed their health and lives over sex.

derigsterd yes I agree.

Much better to get the child themselves to want to be healthy.

My dd self regulated very well for 8 year old, I have never forced her.

Know someone who makes huge song and dance about having fruit first after every single meal then a cake or choclate treat.

1. I thought it was best to have fruit seperate to other food as it sits on top and can ferment and

2. I would give fruit or cake never always both together because in my mind its 2 doses of sugar ?

3. I would never make such a song and dance about it and thereby sear on childs mind we have fruit then more sugar in the form of cake.

I find it much easier to be discreet and not make a thing of things...

I'm going to go against the grain here. Our infant school didn't allow sweets/cakes/biscuits in lunch boxes and didn't do the birthday treats thing. They only allowed water to be brought in to drink and gave out milk and fruit. It caused no problems whatsoever. I thought mine would drink nothing because up to that point they refused plain water, but actually they started drinking more water and being perfectly happy with it.

At junior school they are allowed to bring treats into school for tuck and lunch. The tuck shop sells chocolate milk, juices, cakes, biscuits. The dc bring in sweets and cakes for their birthdays. They have regular cake sales for charity. All team prizes in class are bags of sweets. They're also given sweets at the end of term by teachers/TAs. So a day doesn't go by where they're not having cakes/biscuits/sweets. Last week they given a project to do - one of the options was to make a cake depiciting the subject. For three days in a row they were eating multiple pieces of cake. Followed by another cake sale. It seems over the top to me. Mine's had the opportunity to eat something like 14 pieces of cake since Monday.

I'm not one to restrict treats at home that much, largely because mine were food refusers and tend to self regulate anyway. They had to be trained for several years to eat cake. But it can't be healthy for those who are of a hungrier nature.

A few sugary treats won't hurt him if he eats pretty healthily the rest of the time and brushes his teeth. They are what they say, treats, and he will want to have them, like his classmates. If you really don't want him to eat them all at once, and I can see why if he won't eat his tea then, I agree with previous comments..spread them out. If he tantrums ignore him or tell him he won't get any (though if anything like my YD in the midst of a tantrum this wouldn't make any difference.)
Whatever you do, don't give in to the tantrum...that way lies darkness for later in life!!

It is what you do normally that counts. The only ones that I know who crave junk food, sweets etc are those whose parents made it a tremendous issue.

expat - if you are diabetic then you know that the reason that you need to eat sweets when hypo is because they are the equivalent of medicine for you. Not because they are an essential part of a diet. I don't know when you were diagnosed, but if as a child, wouldn't your life have been a bit easier if our culture didn't associate fun with high sugar foods? (Because, yes, you can inject insulin to cover them, but managing the spike is hard and every time you spike it is causing damage to your body).

Primary school age kids are recommended to have no more than 3-6 teaspoons of refined sugar a day. This chart is really useful.

I'm not overstrict with my kids but on the one hand we have massively rising childhood obesity and huge problems with dental decay, and on the other hand we have people feeling like their children will be deprived if they don't eat stuff that is at at best, not beneficial, and at worst, harmful. It's a shame.

'but if as a child, wouldn't your life have been a bit easier if our culture didn't associate fun with high sugar foods? '

Um, no. People have been using 'high sugar foods', including alcohol, to celebrate events for thousands of years. It's just food, on special occasions. The campaign against 'sugar' is yet another bandwagon. There have been dozens over the years (red meat, eggs and cholesterol, processed meat, etc), all blamed for what really causes disease: lack of moderation.

I don't need charts or government guidelines or to demonise any foodstuff and use common sense when it comes to eating and feeding my family. None of us is obese and only one of my three ever had a cavity.

Red meat provides iron and protein, eggs provide vitamins and protein, etc. Sweets (and sugar sweetened drinks) don't provide anything other than pure simple carbohydrate and your carbohydrate needs are much better met in other ways. (Unless of course you are a person with diabetes having a hypo and requiring a sudden sugar spike to keep you from having a seizure).

In centuries past people were using honey sweetened bread, dried fruits, etc to celebrate special occasions/feast days. There's a difference between that and the ready availability of sweets these days.

Yes, there are a lot of differences between the past and now, but people still use special foodstuffs and drink to celebrate special events. They were using plenty of alcohol then and now. They always will. I'm not really bothered by that and if I were, it'd be my problem because I highly doubt my stamping my feet about it is going to change human nature. If I'm going to fart in the wind it wouldn't be about that. But hey, knock yourself out.

So no sweets, no alcohol and no sex, someone needs to tell me how I am going to fill my time.

They're all bad, birds. Here, have some rice cakes. I do like a G&T every now and again.

Have it all in one go, then the teeth only have a battering once rather than lots of times. That was advice from my dentist one the same topic. My daughter's only side effect from a premature birth was that her milk teeth did not produce any enamel. Luckily her adult teeth have.
Definitely better to have it all in one go and a glass of water afterward to help wash away the sugar.

For god's sake don't bring it up to the teacher - you'll make a fool of yourself and be staff room gossip material.

1. You should have taken one off him and put the others away, as others have said you are the parent it is up to you to discipline him and teach him delayed gratification.
2. The school already have a rule about treats - it's on birthdays. Was it 3 birthdays on that day?
3. Sorry he had a tantrum but see 1.

At KS1 they only have 30 in a class, so that's 29 potential birthdays. Assuming some are in the holidays, you are looking at maybe 20 treats per year. Surely the answer is to give fewer at home, and allow them to enjoy the birthday and (when their own comes around) the pleasure of generosity?

I dunno. I am fussy about diet, but I do think parents who flip out the most about the odd treat end up with the kids who go mental for the junk when they are teenagers, tbh.

YABU. If you don't want your child to have these treats then don't give him them and remove them if he gets them when it is another childs birthday. Please do not spoil it for other children/parents who do not mind their children getting treats on birthdays by making the whole class suffer because of your personal preference.

It's my DS's birthday today and he has taken in 30 Freddo chocolates. Not healthy, but not very big either....

No, it's not every day - but some terms it feels like every week! And it's almost always a mini packet of Haribo, which isn't going to wreck most children, but there are those who have rubbish tooth enamel (like DS1), or are diabetic, or have allergies ... and it's entirely reasonable for parents to want or need to control what they eat in those circs, and to be annoyed if the schools are allowing that decision to be taken out of their hands.

I get pretty pissed off that schools hammer home the healthy eating message, often to the extent of interfering with individual packed lunches (not our school, thank goodness) yet allow free rein with what's brought in for birthdays. I know it's nice for them, I know it allows them some extra specialness on their day - but to say that birthdays would otherwise go unacknowledged is daft. Don't all primary schools nowadays mention the week's birthdays in assembly, or acknowledge them in class, make them Class? All the schools I've got experience of do.

Perfect time to teach your ds about moderation.