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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WIBU to quit my job?

162 replies

Snowey101 · 09/02/2016 20:43

I have been in my new job for 3 weeks....and frankly, I'm wondering if I've made a terrible mistake.

In a nutshell and not going into too much detail- major unhappy work force, low morale & a rigid, tense working environment.

The person that I am taking over from (who is meant to be training me in their role) has seemed to have taken an instant dislike to me as from day 1 she's been snapping and snarling at me, doesn't give clear instructions therefore sometimes I don't 100% understand what I'm expected to do but am too afraid to ask her to clarify or ask her a Q as she just bites me head off.

Today she ignored me all day, pointedly, whilst cackling with some of my other colleagues. I felt so desperately unhappy today that I felt like crying.

The trouble is, I'm worried even if I did quit that I'd struggle to get another job as leaving a job after a few weeks or couple of months really doesn't look good does it and I'm not sure what on earth id say to a potential employer?

Feeling really down tonight. Just really not sure what to do.

OP posts:
BillSykesDog · 25/02/2016 16:40

Snowey, I actually seriously think I might have worked in the place you've been at a few years back. If that's the case you're well out of it, I was there for a year and left on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

GruntledOne · 25/02/2016 22:02

So how on earth do they think they're ever going to get the role filled if no-one has any time to train people? I doubt that Bitch will like it if someone with accountancy qualification is recruited, they'll be over-qualified and bored and will probably show her up even more.

rollonthesummer · 25/02/2016 22:07

Have I missed a bit? How did you get from being in the room with bitch and boss to being sacked?

Yseulte · 25/02/2016 23:14

V good Horton except leave out the bit about the accountant.

That was just bollocks to discredit the OP.

Yseulte · 25/02/2016 23:15

No trained accountant I know is going to work with this bunch of monkeys.

Bitch is ridiculous and she's simply discredited to save her skin.

stargirl04 · 26/02/2016 00:43

Hi Snowey, you poor, poor thing, I'm sending you big (((((((hugs)))))))))),

I've been in your position. But trust me, you are better off out of it and anyway, it sounds like a small-minded, unprofessional and, frankly, backward company. How old is this woman, the Bitch? It sounds as if it's a maturity problem. As for the directors, it's a lack of balls problem and they will be confronted again and again with this situation as long as they are too weak to deal with it.

In five years' time you will look back and laugh at them. People who get sacked usually end up in better jobs. Look at Jeremy Clarkson!

How about telling a new employer that you left to travel? I did it in my late 30s for a year and didn't have a problem at all getting a 'proper job' afterwards. I just told them I'd been working xx number of years and decided to take a career break, which was the truth.

Before that (I was bullied a lot at work in my youth - always by women, I'm sorry to say, never men.) I left a job I'd only been in for 10 months where I was being bullied by a female boss. It was so obvious that I was being targeted that other members of staff used to come up to me and sympathise and advise me. Everyone knew what was going on.

But I didn't understand why!! People told me that she was "jealous". But why????? I don't know. I was not ambitious and not after her job. She just hated me on sight from day 1 and made my life hell.

I became clinically depressed and lost so much - my relationship, my home, my life, I lost sight of who I was, lost a lot of weight with the stress and became a nervous wreck. But I was too scared to quit - yet I really wish I had!

One day I took sick leave to go for a job interview.

The interviewers said; "Why do you want to leave your current job?"

I told them the truth. "I'm being bullied at work. There is a woman there who for some reason unknown to me seems to hate me and never wastes an opportunity to undermine me."

They said: "Well there are no bullies here. When can you start?"

I started a month later in a junior position. It was the best move I ever made. Five years later I was in a senior, influential position on good money.

So don't assume, Snowey, that a new prospective employer will be unsympathetic or suspicious! Yes, some might be, but you might be pleasantly surprised.

The downside for me at the beginning was that the new bosses knew the old bosses and told them what I'd told them at interview!

The big boss at the old job called me into his office and said, "Why are you leaving?"

I resisted the temptation to say "Shove this job etc" and said: "Because I have a better job."

He said. "And that's it? Because you have a better job? There is no other reason that you want to tell me about, Stargirl?"

We looked at each other. We both knew he knew what I'd said in the interview to the new bosses (who throughout my five years with them continued to be brilliant to me - you just couldn't expect them to keep anything quiet! lol....)

I said: "Yes, there is no other reason." And that was it. The bully was furious and never spoke to me again but I didn't give a monkey's. I was out of there for good just a few weeks later and never looked back.

After I left, I heard that she picked on a succession of other poor sods and the reason, I realised later, is because she had been continually passed over for promotion year in and year out, and was consumed with bitterness and envy, taking out her frustration on anyone she saw as an easy target because it was her twisted way of reinforcing the limited and waning power she did have.

This won't be much comfort to you, OP, but I once read that people who get bullied at work are likely to be very good at their jobs - and the bully recognises this, feels threatened and sets out to undermine them.

Honestly, life is too short. You are probably traumatised by this experience (as I was) but you will get over it sooner than you think. And the next job you get might be the one in which your wonderful talents are recognised and truly appreciated. So try not to lose hope and stay positive!

Love SG xxx

Snowey101 · 26/02/2016 09:19

Thank you all for your kind words.

Bitch is actually in her late 50s, you'd think she'd know better, especially considering she was always banging on about how her daughter's were my age.

I went to bed last night and woke up this morning SO relieved that I didn't have to go into that place and deal with her. I have mouth ulcers, my hair is falling out and I had a continuous knot in my stomach.

However, despite the relief I am really worried about money and everything else. I'll be okay for s couple of weeks but I really need to have temp work by the week after next latest really. Am going to ring ALL local employment agencies today. I've applied for 2 jobs, going to spend today applying for more!

I feel so embarrassed and just, well useless really. I feel like I wouldn't even be capable of flipping burgers in McDonald's, they've made me feel so useless and incompetent.

Good luck to the next personvictim

OP posts:
DaggerEyes · 26/02/2016 12:33

I couldn't make burgers at McDonalds if nobody showed me how. But, McDonalds has a training program!! So, they would already be better employers than the shower of shites you've just escaped from. X

AugustaFinkNottle · 26/02/2016 13:42

Some employment lawyer should know - is OP entitled to pay in lieu of notice? It's not as if she was sacked for misconduct.

Snowey101 · 26/02/2016 14:03

They said that they would pay me until the end of next week.

Thing is, despite asking for one, I never received a contract. So really, they can do what they like I would've thought? I seriously hope they keep to their word of paying me until the end of next week!

OP posts:
StuffEverywhere · 26/02/2016 15:35

Snowey, onwards and upwards from here. You'll be fine, honestly! Think of it as a learning experience.

One more thing I found after I was laid off under similar circumstances is that after that incident I stopped stressing excessively about not getting things right at work or losing a job. Of course I want to do my job well, but I just trust my own internal compass so much more now.

Shit happens. Sometimes shit happens because you've done something wrong, but other times.... bad things happen to good people! It's bad luck, but you will bounce back and you'll be stronger for it. Good luck!

LurkonTAthread · 26/02/2016 19:03

If you were there more than a month, they are in breach of the law if they didn't give you written terms of your employment. You did have a contract, even if just verbal. However, practically, not worth taking to employment tribunal if you can find other work, probably. You could call CAB for advice, or ask a solicitor (lots give free half hour of advice), as to whether you're entitled to more pay in lieu of notice, etc.
Bloody awful way to operate though, them I mean.

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