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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to quit my job?

162 replies

Snowey101 · 09/02/2016 20:43

I have been in my new job for 3 weeks....and frankly, I'm wondering if I've made a terrible mistake.

In a nutshell and not going into too much detail- major unhappy work force, low morale & a rigid, tense working environment.

The person that I am taking over from (who is meant to be training me in their role) has seemed to have taken an instant dislike to me as from day 1 she's been snapping and snarling at me, doesn't give clear instructions therefore sometimes I don't 100% understand what I'm expected to do but am too afraid to ask her to clarify or ask her a Q as she just bites me head off.

Today she ignored me all day, pointedly, whilst cackling with some of my other colleagues. I felt so desperately unhappy today that I felt like crying.

The trouble is, I'm worried even if I did quit that I'd struggle to get another job as leaving a job after a few weeks or couple of months really doesn't look good does it and I'm not sure what on earth id say to a potential employer?

Feeling really down tonight. Just really not sure what to do.

OP posts:
Hedgehogparty · 11/02/2016 19:00

How awful for you, I don't understand how people can be this vile. Pathetic behaviour.
Is it possible to speak to the Manager tomorrow morning?
I'd write down what has happened and when.

On balance, I think you'll have to leave, life is too short and this could make you ill, lose confidence
I quit a job when I was allocated a mentor who was no support at all. I found another job within a few months.
If you can afford to leave , I would.

Yseulte · 11/02/2016 19:04

I would resign and tell your manager exactly why - how this woman has behaved. Tell them you have no confidence in a workplace where morale is so low and such unprofessional behaviour is tolerated.

That should get her in a decent amount of shit.

AlpacaPicnic · 11/02/2016 19:16

Can you record her on your phone? When you ask for instructions I mean. Discretely or obvious-as-fuckly depending on how you want to go about this job.
If you're going to leave, do it subtle and then play it as explanation when you go.

Or... Tell her you're going to record her instructions 'so you can make notes later' to ensure you 'don't have to interrupt her more than necessary'

And do bring it up with a manager that there seems to be a personality clash. I was in the same situation as you, didn't say anything as I didn't want to 'tell tales' and thought I was dealing with it in the adult way. When I did quit and told the bosses why, they just said 'well we asked you if everything was ok and you didn't say anything at the time....' Turned out the bully had a history of driving people out but they were reluctant to tackle her.

TiggyD · 11/02/2016 19:28

I don't think you've got much to lose if you tell your boss what you've told us.

Original poster
Snowey101 · 12/02/2016 07:37

Thanks god it's Friday!

OP posts:
quietbatperson · 12/02/2016 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BillSykesDog · 12/02/2016 20:37

I agree with Yseulte, you've been there 3 weeks and you hate it. Go with your gut. Just quit, 3 weeks doesn't need to go on your CV. I've had jobs like this before and I honestly wish I'd cut my losses because it would have saved me a lot of stress and unhappiness in the long run.

Gattabianca · 12/02/2016 20:44

I usually give a job 3 months. If after 3 months it's still awful then it will probably always be awful. I understand that 3 months seems a lifetime if you are really struggling. If it's that bad and you can afford it, quit and say why on your exit interview.

gleekster · 12/02/2016 21:03

I would leave - life is too short for this level of unhappiness.

However, I would make an appointment with HR and would tell them exactly why I was leaving.

Original poster
Snowey101 · 13/02/2016 08:56

Pretty much the same as Thursday- bitch no 1 ignoring me all day, being curt, short and sarcastic whenever I asked anything.

I have a horrible feeling she's trying to get me out to line bitch no 2 up with my job!

OP posts:
Naughty1205 · 13/02/2016 09:06

How horrible, I'd be out of there, life is too short to deal with that shit. But as others have said, make a list of issues you had, what was said, have an exit meeting and give them feedback on the bitch and then go back to the office and give her the two fingers Angry

FeralBeryl · 13/02/2016 12:42

Oh poor you Flowers
Had this woman been 'relieved' of her role. I've seen this many times in the workplace where people have been told they are surplus to requirements, planned to move departments only for their line managers to then backtrack and take someone else on for the (old) role and expect the sidelined staff member to train them up out of the goodness of their hearts Hmm
I am in no way condoning her behaviour
Just wondering if there is more politik to the situation than you're being made aware of.
I would personally summon the strength to ask her for A Word. Keep it simple, off the shop floor, and ask her if she realises that she is making you very unhappy and ask is there anything that you have done to make her act this way.
Choose several of the most horrid examples but don't harp on about every single thing, she'll switch off and see it as whinging and focus on those when she recounts the event to anyone.
Also ask her how she would feel if the roles were reversed.
If she refuses to engage, or becomes confrontational, I would tell her that you're going to have to seek advice from HR (do you have a good HR?) and walk away.
Also start a diary of events if you do decide to start a grievance procedure.
Most importantly, leave her in the office-don't bring her mean little face home with you for the weekend.
Make a conscious decision to leave the issue on the step at work. She doesn't deserve your headspace.

kiwimumof2boys · 14/02/2016 09:02

How are you doing OP?

Original poster
Snowey101 · 14/02/2016 14:08

Think I'm going to email my boss in the morning asking for a meeting and I'll let them know everything that is going on.

Bricking it though and I don't actually want anything done/ said to her yet, just want to make my boss aware of the situation.

Anyone have any suggestions as to what I could/ should say to my boss?

OP posts:
quietbatperson · 14/02/2016 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yseulte · 14/02/2016 20:41

No suggestions, but I think that's a good plan and you've got nothing to lose.

I would focus on lack of professionalism and poor working practices in this woman rather than your hurt feelings etc, so they can't dismiss you as oversensitive. For example her behaviour results in your not getting proper training.

TheScarletSquid · 14/02/2016 20:48

As you've been there such a short time and it's obviously not working out, I would leave if I were you, if you think you could find something else quickly. I've left two jobs in a short space of time - one after five weeks and the other after three months ( when agency fees became payable) and didn't regret either. I pit them on my CV as temporary positions. Why should you put up with this? It sounds awful.

Original poster
Snowey101 · 14/02/2016 22:06

Thanks guys.

I'll email boss in the morning when I get up (don't want to disturb them on V day evening Wink ) and ask if I can have a word when they get in in the morning.

Its a very small office and you can hear everything virtually so I know bitch faces will be wondering what I'm doing in the bosses office (they'll probably guess!) but I guess I'll have to just ignore them and crack on.

No, unfortunately I am broke at the moment so really need to be working. However, there's quite a bit of temp work around at the moment so worst case scenario id have to temp until I could find something else permanant.

God I hate being in this situation, I'm so angry. Angry with myself too as if I'm honest I had a bad feeling re this job before I took it, well, mainly a bad feeling about her (I was introduced to her after my second interview and thought then she seemed abrupt and off!) I've done nothing wrong and really resent being put in this position.

But she IS being unprofessional, she hasn't 'taught' me anything now since my first week, just ignores me all day and sighs and huffs if I dare look at her or speak to her!

Gah!

OP posts:
kiwimumof2boys · 15/02/2016 08:16

Good luck. Let us know how it goes. Flowers

AlpacaPicnic · 15/02/2016 20:35

Best of luck. Remember, at this point, you've got nothing to lose. And your colleague is getting paid to train you, so she isn't earning her pay check.

Original poster
Snowey101 · 16/02/2016 12:27

Well, had a meeting with boss which didn't really resolve anything as we only had about 4 minutes and then we were interrupted by another director needing something urgent.

Basically, in a nutshell, bitch 1 is a bitch, yes, she's like it to everyone, even the directors as I may have noticed (well, yes I had!) just her manner, you have to just get on with it and give as much back?! If I run out of work (she's hardly giving me any work, I'm sat here bored most of the day whilst she merrily undertakes her role each day) then I need to email her, ccing the director in and he will ensure I'm given work. He said he's noticed she's not passing over work and has told her she's got to give me more.

Then, director interrupted us and emergency ensued so he said to come and speak to him again if things don't improve or any other problems!

There is other stuff but I'm on my lunch so haven't got time to go through it all!

So basically, I have to go....ASAP.

I think I ought to put this job on my CV as I may not get another one for a while and I don't want a big gap in my Employment history.

My concern is, what would you state as reason for wanting to leave current employment after only a month when applying for jobs?

What on earth could you put that doesn't make you look bad?

OP posts:
magicstar1 · 16/02/2016 12:44

I would just put down that I did a bit of temp work for a month or so. You don't need to expand on that.

DaggerEyes · 16/02/2016 12:53

Don't go back. You aren't going to use them as a reference, don't put it on your cv. Who's cv is so detailed that three weeks will stand out?

DaggerEyes · 16/02/2016 12:55

The longer you drag this job out, the harder to miss it off your cv it will be. If you can just be without a job, I'd leave now. Then maybe bitch will be in the shit for, you know...being a fucking bitch!!!

Yseulte · 16/02/2016 13:06

I'd leave and take on as much temp work as you can, the 3 weeks will get lost in that.

The longer you leave it, the bigger the gap.

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