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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to quit my job?

162 replies

Snowey101 · 09/02/2016 20:43

I have been in my new job for 3 weeks....and frankly, I'm wondering if I've made a terrible mistake.

In a nutshell and not going into too much detail- major unhappy work force, low morale & a rigid, tense working environment.

The person that I am taking over from (who is meant to be training me in their role) has seemed to have taken an instant dislike to me as from day 1 she's been snapping and snarling at me, doesn't give clear instructions therefore sometimes I don't 100% understand what I'm expected to do but am too afraid to ask her to clarify or ask her a Q as she just bites me head off.

Today she ignored me all day, pointedly, whilst cackling with some of my other colleagues. I felt so desperately unhappy today that I felt like crying.

The trouble is, I'm worried even if I did quit that I'd struggle to get another job as leaving a job after a few weeks or couple of months really doesn't look good does it and I'm not sure what on earth id say to a potential employer?

Feeling really down tonight. Just really not sure what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Snowey101 · 22/02/2016 11:10

No response from boss yet :sigh:

This is torturous and I really could be using this time to apply for other jobs but my screen is visible to everyone so not really an option.

OP posts:
EBearhug · 22/02/2016 11:26

I really like the suggestion of a pp to surreptitiously record the bitch and then play her worst greatest hits back to your boss and HR

You can't really do this unless you have her permission to record her.

HortonWho · 22/02/2016 11:44

If you got nothing to do, start going over the instructions she's given you and point out where her errors were in being unclear, which lead to a new employee making X mistake. Do this for every mistake you make because of her instructions. Do this for every bad instruction you receive. Email them to your boss and cc her. Tell him you are taking initiative in attempting to improve the company's training techniques as you still have no work.

Maybe she'll start giving you work to stop you from detailing her shit training to your boss

BillSykesDog · 22/02/2016 12:06

Did you get this job through an agency? If yes, definitely give them a call and let them know what is going on. They can support you, help you look for other positions plus they should know that, if they put anyone else into a role in this company, similar things are likely to happen.

Would they bollocks. Agencies don't care about whether the people they put in the job are happy or not. They just want them to stay long enough for them to collect their fee. The person being placed is not their customer and they will feel no obligation to find something else.

DaggerEyes · 22/02/2016 12:14

You absolutely can record her. You can record anything, phone calls, private conversations.....anything. You might not be able to use some types of private stuff in court as evidence or make it public if there is an expectation of privacy (doctors appointments etc) but an open plan office? You can record her and play it to anybody you like.

Original poster
Snowey101 · 22/02/2016 12:22

No, not through an agency.

Recording her would be a fine thing- she doesn't say anything to me for me to bloody record her. I'm also not sure at this stage id want to do that- if ever to be honest. Id be more inclined to slip my phone into my pocket and secretly record the meeting with my boss.

No response from boss, haven't seen or heard from him all day. I've made a couple of small tasks last all morning, there's been no one else in the office today. It's, quite frankly, torture.

My hair has started to come out in clumps, which it only does due to stress.

FFS, it's really not hard, I just want to work- is it that difficult?! There has been NO thought gone into this role at all, none. There can't have been. Do I even need to be here?! (Judging by the workload- evidently not!) perhaps they're trying to get rid of me? I honestly don't know anymore.

I'll start to make points on what I want to say when I do eventually get a meeting with my boss, which at this rate isn't going to be today, or maybe even tomorrow.

OP posts:
DaggerEyes · 22/02/2016 12:43

Id be very tempted to film it tbh. Set up your phone or whatever to 'capture' the scene, and go over at 15 minute intervals asking loudly for work. This way, you have absolute proof of your willing to work. If she claims you didn't ask for work, you have proof. In fact, I'd tell her that you will be back every 15 minutes to ask again. People can't relax when they know that.

I'd even set an alert on my phone to beep so she knew you really are going to be that annoying persistent.

FragileBrittleStar · 22/02/2016 12:52

are you emailing her asking for work - you should be
then if she gives instructions to you - presumably verbally - email to her ccing boss summarising what she has said. then if she is giving crap instructions it'll be obvious.
Ask her (by email) for a summary of work and training to be done this week. Ask her for things to read /learn - basically become a keeny PITA

EBearhug · 22/02/2016 13:28

Also, if you write down the things you have been told, it can be the basis for a task handbook, and in time, no one would ever have to speak directly to anyone again...

OK, that might be going a bit far, but it would make you (plural) less dependent on individuals.

Original poster
Snowey101 · 22/02/2016 13:46

I'm writing everything down so do have almost the starts of a 'training' manual.

No one around, no response from boss, still no work to do. This is ridiculous! Just want to go home now!

OP posts:
RumbleMum · 22/02/2016 14:05

What a nightmare situation Snowey. I'm sorry it's so stressful.

Can you go out and ring some temp agencies during your lunch hour (if it's not too late for that) and get a feel for whether there's anything you could go into in the near future?

Is there anything else you can fill your time with to make yourself feel better - catch up on industry news, YouTube videos on relevant subjects, online training?

Lanchester · 22/02/2016 14:26

Bullying at work is pretty much illegal these days.
It leaves the company vulnerable to reputational damage.
It might even constitute Constructive Dismissal ?
Ring Unite the Union and see if they can advise you informally first - you can maybe join as a member anyway in case you need help in the future (tell them you want to join).
The union can provide free legal help.

Citizens Advice Bureau may also be helpful?

You are not alone.
This sort of thing is not uncommon.
It's NOT your fault and you DON'T have to put up with it.

Make sure you keep a Diary of everything that happens.
Where possible communicate with HR/Personnel by email to complain, and keep a copy of all correspondence.

Original poster
Snowey101 · 22/02/2016 14:32

I only get half an hour for lunch and the signal here is awful, I'm going to ring when I finish.

I'm just gone smacked. I've come in today with everyone knowing that each other aren't here and none of them have given me anything to do.

She's been off all morning but is in now. Hasn't looked at me, hasn't spoken to me. I'm going to have to ask her for work and I know she'll say I don't have anything.

I'm honestly nearly in tears.

OP posts:
DaggerEyes · 22/02/2016 14:32

I'd be tempted to email everyone, so they can see you have emailed everyone, telling them that they will all be called as witnesses if you decide to take this current treatment to tribunal so could they keep logs of when you ask for work and are ignored. It might snap her stooges out of putting up with her.

HortonWho · 22/02/2016 16:08

Why do you have to ask her? Don't talk to her, just EMAIL HER AND CC HER BOSS, documenting she's left no work for you this morning, has only now arrived and please can she now hand over the workload for afternoon.

If she speaks to you telling you nothing to do, EMAIL HER, Ccing the boss that per your conversation at X time, she has advised you of C and requested you Y (don't ask her again, don't bother her, etc).

When she speaks to you, have pen and pad and WRITE IT DOWN. and tell her you are, so you can quote her as your manager has asked you to keep a record of when she does and doesn't give you work

GruntledOne · 22/02/2016 16:23

Have you got an HR department? If so I would suggest getting an urgent interview with them and pointing out that you've tried to resolve it with your head of department with no success.

Or, if that isn't possible, is there someone you can go to above your boss's head, again saying that he doesn't seem able to resolve the problem and can boss's superior help?

Original poster
Snowey101 · 23/02/2016 07:54

Another day & it's just me and bitch in and I have no work oh joy!!! I'm determined to have it out with my boss today if it kills me.

Rang agencies yesterday re temp work, they've got some so if need be I'll walk this week. Just dreading going in with her on my own Sad

OP posts:
Greyponcho · 23/02/2016 08:46

Following on from LANCHESTER, unfortunately, you have to be in a company for at least two years before you can go down the "constructive dismissal" route (as I discovered myself).
ACAS may be able to provide more helpful advice than citizens advice, as they are specialists in employment situations.

Hope you get some work today

Stillunexpected · 23/02/2016 08:49

So your boss didn't bother coming back to you at all yesterday? Time for another email this morning pointing out that you had no work yesterday and still no work today and requesting a meeting as a matter of urgency. I'm not sure if it is going to achieve anything at all but it provides documentary evidence when, as seems increasingly likely, you walk out of the place.

Yseulte · 23/02/2016 08:56

Who is your boss's boss?

HazelBite · 23/02/2016 11:48

How's it going Snowey?

DaggerEyes · 23/02/2016 12:42

Op. Can you just....give up? Sit at your desk listening to music, Facebook, do you weekly shop menu and list? Sounds like your not going to be either helped by your boss, or given work by this bitch, so.....give up. Decide to walk out on Friday, but spend this week catching up on your own personal admin while at work???

Original poster
Snowey101 · 23/02/2016 18:28

So I went to my boss today.

I got in and finished a couple of bits and then had nothing to do- asked B, she said 'oh I don't know if I have anything' at that point the accountant piped up and said she had something for me to do so I did that because otherwise what would I do?!

So, went in to speak to him and just told him mostly everything really. Said i don't know what I'm doing/ what my job title even is (which he didn't answer!) said I can't continue to come in not knowing what I'm doing on a day to day basis, never having any work. She barely looks at me let alone speaks to me.

I asked if there was some sort of training programme (e.g by week X I should be learning such and such) that they're privy to and I'm not. He said 'well B has been through that with you hasn't she?!' I said 'no, you must be joking, she barely looks at me let alone talks to me'

Told him a few examples where she has given poor instructions or been rude.

He seemed shocked and said that, as of April ALL the work that she is currently doing, I'm meant to be taking over. I laughed and said good luck with that, that's not going to happen because I know nothing & she's not teaching me anything.

He said fine, the situation is going to have to be managed and monitored more closely, HOWEVER, as of today he's now on holiday for 10 days and isn't back until a week Monday :cries:

He said leave it with him.

So, whilst I feel better that he knows about things, it doesn't help me in the meantime. I have to go another 2 weeks nearly without him there just with her! And no work probably! Each day is going to be such a battle but now I feel like I need to stay at least until he comes back to see if things improve once he's back.

Argh!!!

OP posts:
EBearhug · 23/02/2016 20:05

I agree you should stay till he's back. You have other people willing to give you work, so you can get things to do. I don't suppose he left a list of things that have to be learnt from the time he'said back?

You will need to log everything that goes on, and everything B does (or more accurately, doesn't) do/say - if your manager is going to be off, there's a chance her behaviour will get even worse. You will need a record of it for when your manager is back.

StuffEverywhere · 23/02/2016 20:22

I was in your situation and didn't have the guts to leave, but was laid off two months after I started (due to financial position of the company, I was told). The 'bitch no 1' was fired 6 months after.

I say, if it's THAT bad, start putting all your energy into plan B. Things might improve in this company but you will have a lot of gray hairs by then!

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