to send this saucy Valentine poem anonymously?

[dahlink]

I have a crush on a colleague. His contract with my employer is due to end of the end of the month (he's a free lancer) and this is the last chance kind of thing.
Background: I have children and no desire for a relationship. He is long term single, no kids. We flirt a bit when we work together, he tends to make silly little innuendoes but I never see him with other women so don't know if it's just his way. I ended my relationship with my ex dp a few months ago, hoping he might make a move but nothing.
So, would it be really inappropriate to send this?! We do joke a lot about sex etc so it wouldn't make him blush. The only thing I worry is that he'll be grossed out because maybe he doesn't find me attractive?
So, here's the poem-it's to go in a jokey card that says, "I have naughty thoughts about you" on the front....

Don't wanna look a fool,
Don't want to make things weird,
But I think it would be cool,
To rub my rude bits on your beard.

Don't wanna make a blunder,
Don't wanna look silly,
But sometimes I wonder,
"Are you flirting with me?"

Don't wanna be your wife,
Or even get to know you,
Don't need you in my life,
I just wanna blow you.

Don't want no wedding rice,
Don't wanna meet your Mum,
But maybe once or twice,
I'd love to make you cum.

Whether you think I'm sexy or not,
I still hope this makes you smile,
Cos it's good to be told you're hot,
Every once in a while.

So if you want to play,
And if I make you hard,
Next time you see me say,
"I really liked your card!"

Is it too much?! And how does it scan?

There once was a woman at work
Sent a poem in hope of a jerk
'Twas cringing to see
Her come on to me
And now we all think she's a berk

That's a no btw. A huge NO

Where's the OP????

Pahahaha that is hilarious, I definitely wouldn't do it though but you made me laugh OP.

I too want to hear from the op. I'm afraid that the silence suggests that she was indeed deadly serious about sending it

If I received the OP's poem then yes I'd complain, for the record I'm a man

If I received the OP's poem then yes I'd complain, for the record I'm a man

Really? It's only a bit of fun I won't ask if you have a beard

It's not a bit of fun, it's crude and I'd think that the sender was a bit desperate and/or deluded.

Really? It's only a bit of fun

It isn't 'a bit of fun'. Would you be ok with men saying this sort of stuff to a woman as she walked down the street?

There once was a man with a beard
who went about feeling afeared,
That some strange woman would sit,
on his face for a bit
So off he went to get sheared!

Somebody please change their un to BosomySusanFromAccounts

This has GOT to be a wind up.

Nobody would think sending that is a good idea.

Surely?

stratter I think it might actually be serious! Come back op!

Bosomy Susan

Where's wiry Brian in IT?

I was actually laughing at "Are you Vogon" on and off all day yesterday

Poor OP.

I sit and watch you from my desk,
Filled with a great desire,
To rub your beard across my bush,
And start a friction fire

This is a one time offer,
As I know you're done with work,
So just sit back- I'll show you my crack,
And win you around with a Twerk

You may think this poem is crazy,
My friends all think I've gone crackers,
But your pants make me feel all dizzy,
How they show off your knob and your knackers

For us to part with no Goodbye,
Would really be a loss,
But if you're scared I'll back off now,
In case you show my Boss!

Yes this is too much and it doesn't scan well, please don't send this OP.

Maybe as he is leaving suggest meeting up for a coffee/drink. If it is a friends with benefits type of arrangement that you want it is usual to establish if there is mutual attraction there first.

I love that Violet, much better than the original offering...

So just sit back - I'll show you my crack

Now theres a sentence i never thought id read!
I am a proper prude but this is funny even if it is a wind up.
Hi BosomySusan

Ah OP you've come in for some stick. Good job for being prepared to take the initiative but I think I might just do as pp have suggested and directly ask him out.
I have, however, read your poem to my DH and he loved it. He said if he was single he would be very excited to receive something like this. Said he wouldn't be bothered about only being wanted for his cock and would appreciate the to-the-point-ness of the poem. He is however quite an unreconstructed kind of a man and we have some interesting arguments discussions about feminism and equality in our house.

Am now wondering if I should write DH a dirty poem...

Violet that first verse especially is true art

This should be a permanent fixture in Poetry Corner.

AnUtterIdiot I hope it doesn't, it's been fab so far!

OP, where are you?

There was a young girl with a crush,
Who spelled out her love in a rush,
She wrote him a card,
And hoped he'd get hard,
But now wishes she had kept Hush!

To be fair to the OP, apparently it was with lines just such as these that our own dear Queen first captured Philip's attention. And yes, he did have a beard.