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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to send this saucy Valentine poem anonymously?

428 replies

dahlink · 09/02/2016 10:57

I have a crush on a colleague. His contract with my employer is due to end of the end of the month (he's a free lancer) and this is the last chance kind of thing.
Background: I have children and no desire for a relationship. He is long term single, no kids. We flirt a bit when we work together, he tends to make silly little innuendoes but I never see him with other women so don't know if it's just his way. I ended my relationship with my ex dp a few months ago, hoping he might make a move but nothing.
So, would it be really inappropriate to send this?! We do joke a lot about sex etc so it wouldn't make him blush. The only thing I worry is that he'll be grossed out because maybe he doesn't find me attractive?
So, here's the poem-it's to go in a jokey card that says, "I have naughty thoughts about you" on the front....

Don't wanna look a fool,
Don't want to make things weird,
But I think it would be cool,
To rub my rude bits on your beard.

Don't wanna make a blunder,
Don't wanna look silly,
But sometimes I wonder,
"Are you flirting with me?"

Don't wanna be your wife,
Or even get to know you,
Don't need you in my life,
I just wanna blow you.

Don't want no wedding rice,
Don't wanna meet your Mum,
But maybe once or twice,
I'd love to make you cum.

Whether you think I'm sexy or not,
I still hope this makes you smile,
Cos it's good to be told you're hot,
Every once in a while.

So if you want to play,
And if I make you hard,
Next time you see me say,
"I really liked your card!"

Is it too much?! And how does it scan? Grin

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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PurpleDaisies · 09/02/2016 22:11

Turn the tables and a group of women shouted to a man alone 'go on give a shag' that man would feel more chuffed than harassed, and he'd go home feeling good about himself that he got that reaction!

Wow. Just wow. Your ignorance is absolutely staggering. Biscuit

Flashbangandgone · 09/02/2016 22:20

Wow. Just wow. Your ignorance is absolutely staggering

What makes you think I'm more ignorant than you about how a typical man feels? Are you a man?

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion · 09/02/2016 22:20

Omg! I'm sick with the flu. This poem didn't help.

Ummm...points for bravado?

fastdaytears · 09/02/2016 22:22

You are claiming to know how all men (subsequently changed to the vast majority of men) feel. That is ignorant and Purple's gender has precisely nothing to do with it.

I'm a woman. I don't know how all women feel about anything, or even the vast majority of them. To claim I did would be offensive.

TiggyD · 09/02/2016 22:22

Hmm. The serious squad are here. Oh well.

RumAppleGinger · 09/02/2016 22:23

I like it. But instead of simply writing it in a card I think you should hire a barber shop quartet to arrive at your workplace and sing it to him. Winner.

jonquil1 · 09/02/2016 22:23

tiggy I specially like your politicians underpants pomeGrinStar

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 09/02/2016 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fastdaytears · 09/02/2016 22:26

Hmm. The serious squad are here. Oh well

Aghhh I know. How did I get sucked into an argument on the best thread of the day. Loving your work btw.

AnUtterIdiot · 09/02/2016 22:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 09/02/2016 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiggyD · 09/02/2016 22:39

Google image "rude cross stitch".

Grin
to send this saucy Valentine poem anonymously?
PurpleDaisies · 09/02/2016 22:41

What makes you think I'm more ignorant than you about how a typical man feels? Are you a man?

Totally irrelevant. How would you feel if a man told you how you were supposed to feel about being shouted at in the street? This crap that men automatically feel flattered and enjoy being objectified is not a step in the right direction for gender equality. If it is unacceptable for men to do it, it is unacceptable for women to do it too.

Anyway, I was enjoying the thread before it went serious. As you were please.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/02/2016 23:02

flash I suggest you find better males to socialise with...

Pannn · 09/02/2016 23:15

As a quick poll of males, on this thread, most/all seem to find it hilarious and harmless, if a bit Hmm, and do not take it in any way serious, enough to involve HR. There do seem to be some seriously delicate flowers around who need an injection of sanity and humour-consciousness raising. imo. As a bloke.

another fan of Tiggy's recent work.

Flashbangandgone · 09/02/2016 23:26

How would you feel if a man told you how you were supposed to feel about being shouted at in the street?

Ok, time to reveal myself and blow my cover... I am a man, I've had 42 years experience (well of being male) mainly in and around Walsall, so I'm a little Confused at how women seem to think me and my sex feels. Of course I can't speak for every man, and every man is different, but I remain adamant that, in general, the bar for an action being regarded as sexual harassment is very different for men and women. It's not a question of whether it should be or not, that's just how it is. And in my experience, experience that most on here just can't have had, i don't know of any men who'd actually raise receiving a card like this with HR. The typical man is very different from the typical woman regarding stuff like this, and to pretend otherwise is really a bit silly.... And for good reason, overwhelmingly (awful as it is) it is men who sexually attack women and not vice versa.

Oh well, MN was good while it lasted... Cover blown so Flash signing off for good...

Pannn · 09/02/2016 23:36

flash - how about layering your hide a bit more and sticking around?

kavvLar · 09/02/2016 23:38

ROAR at this thread!

Finallyonboard · 09/02/2016 23:41

Don't do it.

Stratter5 · 09/02/2016 23:45

OMG I can't breathe Grin

PLEEEEASE MNHQ put this in Classics.

HelpfulChap · 10/02/2016 05:37

I wouldnt be flattered if I received that but I would find it funny

I definitely wouldn't report it to HR.

If I did it would go something like this

Dear personnel
I must be in hell
I have a beard
And as I feared
Someone wants my bell
(end)

fastdaytears · 10/02/2016 07:08

Oh well, MN was good while it lasted... Cover blown so Flash signing off for good...

Not fussed either way but you are very fair from being the only bloke on MN so not sure why any cover needed or why you need disappear now.

deregistered · 10/02/2016 07:14

Flash if you are in any way serious about leaving, there are loads of blokes on MN. There isn't any problem at all unless you have been posing as a woman for years. That would be weird. And probably quite exhausting.

HolsW · 10/02/2016 07:20

Oh dear Grin

Shesinfashion · 10/02/2016 08:16

It makes you sound desparate, cheap and crude. Don't send it please.